Question#1: I had an early morning appointment the other day and due to some personal matters was running a bit late. So when the gentleman arrived I was not at all ready. But he told me not to worry and was patient. We went on with our session (and of course he had a great time), but I felt a little bad hat I was ill prepared, so I gave him back a portion of his donation along with an apology.

Now here is the question, was it proper for him to take back what I gave him? How would you read his reaction if you were in my shoes? Is he a cheap bastard? (FYI, He was not shorted on time).

Ouestion #2:  I know how everyone loathed Marilyn's Diary, and it was a bit over the top. But what of those guys who are bad guys... How does a provider warn against them. And as for the reference thing, a guy could be good to one girl and terrible to another. Of course he would give the girl he was good to as a reference. I was thinking of complying a list of guys that I might give the thumbs down to (and guys get the thumbs down for shorting, telling personal buiness of other providers or hobbyists, dishonesty, disrespect and harrassment. I have been lucky not to have any violent guys). Would this list be taboo? If someone is on the list, is it fair for them to defend their behavior?
A public forum where a girl or guy could make a claim against another and then the other could defend their side is probably never going to happen. So how would we handle this?

To deal with the shorting tell all clients to put the envelope in the bathroom. Tell them that you have to the bathroom to prepare and use the time to count the money. Turn the water on high so he can't hear you counting the cash.

In terms of the chit chat, think about things you can do to keep the talk positive. There could be some serious issues that the client could be trying warn you about. Maybe it is a way for you to give feedback to the other provider with caution. Keep things hot with kissing after the pop. You might want to do some sexual games after the pop. Maybe have him start with the 69 on you again after you cleanup from a pop. Or maybe wash him off after a pop.

In terms of harrasment you might have to threaten to get LE after the guy. That does not sound good because that could led to violence in the future.

Understand that there are so bad guys out there. You might have to join the other ladies message board to warn other providers. But be forwarned that there are not secrets with the private boards. Sometimes a provider will send email to warn people someone that a provider is talking about them.

One of the big mistakes many providers make in sessions is bring up other girls names. My recommendation is don't mention another providers name. This can cause silly chit chat. If the guy has not seen those providers he might see them now.

In terms of being un-prepared that can be used for fun also. If the client agrees have him wash you down, give you a douche, or if you are a daredevil have him give you an enemia. That could led into some fun with the 69. The ideas are endless.

you just offered back money when you obviously didn't need to, and maybe with the expectation that he would insist you keep it.  I have given back money for inconveniences, I have offered free sessions and other stuff... and when I did so, I did so without remorse and feeling fully that that was the right thing to do.

As for the list - their already exists such a list which unfortunately is only available to certain ladies because it is based on memberships.  I think only violent, dangerous, should be listed in that kind of database.  

No-Shows should have a separate list since it would be impossible to verify that the person is actually who he said he was.

xoxox
Anik

yes he is a cheap bastard for taking the money back.  as to your list you could put disrespectful, harrassing and violent guys in there. i'm not sure about the personal business or dishonesty stuff. this is just a hobby not a serious relationship.

But I guess I was more upset over something I will not discuss here. I always expect everyone to behave with the upmost classiness.  I guess that divides my VIPs from non-VIPs. LOL
Speaking of my VIPs, a lot have asked recently how to qualify for this priviledge (especially since I have scaled down my total number of VIPs.) Well, honestly there is nothng in particular a person can do. There just has to be that connection and mutual respect. I notice gentlemen who go the "extra mile" for me and I go even further and reward them with VIP status. Awwww those lucky boys!!!! *blushing*



-- Modified on 10/26/2005 12:16:29 PM

Certainly the guy didn’t do anything wrong, and he's sure not a cheap bastard.  Actually the way you tell the story it doesn't sound like you really gave the money back because you felt badly that you kept him waiting and wanted to make up for his inconvenience. If your apology was sincere, there’s no reason to ask us whether he did the right thing in accepting your gift and apology.  So what's really going on with this?   Maybe you wanted and expected him to refuse it -- which would let you keep the money but feel a better about keeping him waiting and also maybe let him leave with an impression that you're really a special lady.  And now you're pissed because he didn't stick to the plan and instead just accepted your gracious offer.  Is he a bad guy or a cheap bastard?  Nope.   And it's not fair to him for you to ask us to pass judgment on his etiquette in accepting an apology that you apparently didn't mean.  It’s an imperfect analogy, but haven’t you ever had a restaurant offer to comp you for those drinks you had while waiting over an hour for a great steak and lobster that you went there for and finally did get to eat?  Did you say “no”? The full hour this guy eventually spent with you was the long-awaited steak and lobster he came to enjoy – maybe worth the wait, but at what cost to his own schedule for the rest of the day?  But that's o.k. with him.  When he left, your parting gift for the time he waited for you probably made him think you're really special.  And you're here suggesting he's a cheap bastard.  This etiquette stuff can get pretty complicated, can't it?

Instead of dealing with all the drama with the non VIPS might be time to go UTR (Under the Radar). I know that many providers are going UTR everyday. One of the problems around here in the DC area is that some guys just want 1 hour only never to see the same provider again. Some will do it so they can keep a free TER membership by writing a new review.

I am sure with all the high cliental available in the DC area this should not be a problem. We have many sports teams, lawyers, doctors, and businesmen that keep the hobby going.

Anyway, nationwide my VIP list is only about 20 gentleman. It is a very exclusive group.
As for the guys who jump from girl to girl they are missing out. I know that the first time is never as good as it could be. Both people are nervous and don't know each other bodies. I have an ex and our first time was terrible. He ended up being the best lover I ever had, and still holds the record 6 years later.

Vanica..I don't think anyone would ever accuse me of being a cheap SOB..I tend to always bring a gift  or two and sometimes rather expensive items, I might add.  I think my response would have depended on how you handle things. If you said something like ' sorry I was late..can I refund some $$ to make things right"? I would have refused assumeing you expected me to reject the offer. If you simply sliped some cash in my hand or pocket and indicated you really did regret the inconvience and this is a way you can express your regret and appreciation for my understanding I probably would have let you.  Once a provider I had known for years was nearly two hours late for an outcall for me.  She called from the parking lot and asked if I would still be willing to see her..I agreed..she came up ..had a great couple hours together...Later I found an envelope under my pillow...the entire fee was in it with a note of apology and words of appreciation for my loyalty to her and stuff...I am kinda charming I must admit.  I must admit that gesture endeared her to me in a special way and it was not a bad  investment for her.  I guess for me sincerity is the issue..don't offer if you don't mean it and certainly don't think badly of the dude if he accepts.  After all I am sure you never refuse a nice gift or tip..why that would just be rude!  Hope we meet sometime.

I had a situation where the provider had some problems at home. She tried to call to cancel but she was unable to get a hold of me to cancel. She took up alot of the session talking about her problems. She was not in the best mood for the session. The session turned out to be hot. I booked 3 hours.  She tried to leave the money. I had to run out the hotel to catch her. She was glad that I told her about the money she left. Sometimes if you have a really good session the provider will forget the money. Seems like she wanted to pay me for getting her pussy so soaking wet, lol.

-- Modified on 10/26/2005 1:00:54 PM

As for question #1 well...let's see ...just as Anik stated could you have simply told him what you are telling us??  If I were in your shoes I wouldn't have offered money back ...if I was going to go to TER and ask them their opinion.

If you honestly feel that you messed up and that he deserved it back that should be the end of the story.  No questions asked.  If it was a heartfelt return and you didn't do it to gain clout or become a "better provider" then by all means you should not feel bad.  As for him being a cheap bastard... that's where I may question the etiquette (I'm going to catch hell for this statement) of you.  Do you think that he is a TER member and upon seeing this have a different view of you?  Do you think he might wish that he had never accepted your so called gracious gift?  As I said if it was from the heart you shouldn't question your integrity afterward and then display it on TER.  How about this.  What if someone else from TER goes through this with you... Based on this thread they might think they are getting some money back because of you being ill prepared.  Before you know it you'll be giving more money back then receiving.  This is not to insult you but maybe think twice before posting such a sensitive matter.  You had a great session with an obviously wonderful client who according to you had no complaints... Don't second guess yourself and if you have too then maybe you shouldn't make such split second decisions.

Question 2 is just going to far again with the compilation of names and all that crap.  The game seems to be getting the best of you or something because the Vanica I know is not like that.  If something like this were to ever be formed I hope that you would distance yourself from all that drama.  You are a well known and respected provider and you don't need to diss those that you feel have dissed you.  In time they will move on and do it to someone else.  Did Marilyn's Diary change much????  Not really.. The same folks are still handling there lives and keeping it moving.  There is no reason to sit around and take precious time out of your day to give out an opinion on someone.  Like you said some guys treat girls differently.  You may just not have been their cup of tea.  Accept it and move on.  If a client is totally violent that is a matter for LE.  As for the occasional client that you may encounter that is dishonest or talks about others business SO WHAT .....MOVE ON...  Don't fall into the trap of getting totally screwed... I almost don't want to say this but you kind of put yourself out there by even asking about this... Guys are not cool with their business being out there whether it be good or bad.  That's why we have alias' on TER.  Some folks I used to see didn't even tell me their TER names until they were completly comfortable I wouldn't air their dirty laundry out.  As a former provider I totally disagree with this.  Don't bring that classy act of yours down by becoming part of the next Marilyn's Diary.

Just My Two Cents!!
Use Common Sense
And Don't Get Offended... An offense is just a stumbling block in the road of life.

Wow - you are too sweet... I've been left standing on several occasions without one offer to make it up, let alone getting a discount offer, money back, or the entire fee returned like STP – the signals are there – why can’t I read them – LOL....

My feeling is if you had time to extend the session, that would have been good enough. Offering to give back should only be done if you were truly willing to give it back with no expectations.

As for the second question - that was answered well by Anik. If you find something seriously wrong with a guy, let the other providers know by what ever means possible. The "List" should be something only providers know so the guys wouldn't be defending themselves. It would be your choice to see them or not.

why the guy should be labeled "cheap bastard"?

If you are in a beauty salon and they make you wait for a long time, then they think you got subpar service and offer you a discount when you pay your bill...don't you accept it? Of course you do.

On the Marilyn's Diary, when it came out it was kind of amusing but it escalated into a nightmare.
We are been PAID to perform a service and clients comes in all sizes & shapes. They come to us because they want a specific thing...and we are here to provide it. Discretion is very important in this line of work and I never did (or will) post a review about any of my clients. Whatever happens between me and them is no one elses business.

I've been very lucky...in all my years as escort I just met two guys that I had the need to put the word out. One was a thief, a smooth operator and the other was a dangerous man that was preying on girls in my area, harming them physically.

The "ladies board" on the other site is a very useful tool to reach the girls in the business. I like that very much and we have very interesting discussions about all aspects of our job. I guess you had some kind of problem on that board in the past right?




-- Modified on 10/26/2005 3:18:31 PM

Look what lucilastik has to say.

When you have someone on your VIP list, you make him feel special.  However if you then take him off for no obvious reason, he is going to feel slighted and will probably not see you again. If that is what you want, then fine.  In general not a good business practice to create 2 classes of customers, especially if only 20 make it even if more meet the criteria. If the VIP club is so exclusive keep it secret and tell the VIPs privately. Why alienate the rest by reminding them that they do not belong?

Q#2 Don't overthink this. Guys are going to get alarmed about seeing you if you are even thinking about preparing lists of you clients and classifying them and then publishing it based on your personal criteria.

Q#1  agree with the majority of responses, if you give back, do it with no expectation of refusal, and do not hold it against the person if he does not refuse to take it.

Though there is no specific criteria for my VIP group, everyone has the potential to be a VIP, but everyone will not be. Bell curve issue.
The idea of VIP was not created by me. At Love (formerly known as Dream) people pay $500 - $2000 for VIP cards, pay upwards of $100 for VIP wristbands. They want in. Why? The music and drinks are the same. And only those who do not get in feel bad. Would that relate to Aesop's sour grapes? I am sure that is a discussion for a human pysche class.

My VIP group is mainly for those who have shown me loyalty so I simply return the favor. If one was VIP and no longer is, perhaps it was because of lack of loyalty, and reasons that ARE obvious.
For example, a gentleman belonged to a providers VIP group and them betrayed her by breaking into her e-mail. So he was kicked out of VIP. I am sure everyone can understand that. But what of a VIP member who that same provider afforded special treatment to, but no longer sees her and does not employ his benefits?  
It's kinda like guys have ATFs.
I treat everyone respectfully. VIP is a reward and a result of a special relationship/connection between myself and another. Being non-VIP is not a punishment nor a reflection on that person.

Folks let's face it, "cheap" is a relative term.  For someone making minimum wage, the going rate for sessions is most certainly a "fortune".  The usual answer which I hear for them is: "just go find a street walker".  Only problem is, where are all the health hazards in the hobby?  I have heard of very few with escorts.  Does the "poor bastard" desire or "need" sex any less than the rich one?  Should he be subjected to diseases that the rich one is not?  Should he (or any one) have to get into a relationship in order to have sex, just because they are too poor to do so otherwise?

 Assuming that just about everyone likes sex, why should money or committment even be part of the discussion (especially in terms of being "cheap")?  Why should human pleasure and emotion even be considered a commodity or service subject to the economic laws of supply and demand?  Why should something that comes naturally, is in general enjoyable, requires few if any specialized skills and training, cost more than having brain surgery (and the purveyors if they desire can keep more after taxes because it is a cash business the activity of which is practically untraceable)?  Why indeed?  Apparently because this is the United States of America where the almighty dollar is king and everyone (it seems) desires to be rich in terms of money.  Along comes some guy who can truly use the money for something else even more essential, and he is somehow termed a "cheap bastard".  IYIYI!!  Seems like an odd definition of "cheap" to me.

 Okay, let's accept that this is a business and in business the provider sets their own price (often what the market will bear in this country).  Fine.  After all, the guy accepted that (going in from the start).  I can see some rationalle for asserting that one either pays that price or is somehow "cheap" or shorted someone.  However, many providers have "tiered" rate structures.  Old timer "regulars" are typically "grandfathered" into their original rates.  A given provider may have numerous published rate structures or "specials".  "VIP's" may have yet another unpublished rate structure.  What if someone is availing themselves of a "reduced" published special rate as opposed to the "standard" rate for that provider and then chooses (which is their perfect right) NOT to tip or gift?  Are they somehow "cheap", especially at today's rates?  I hardly think so.  If a provider offers a certain portion of the original rate back because of some inconvenience of their own causing to a customer, wouldn't that constitute a revised rate in that instance?  Seems to me it would.  How would paying a revised rate (and nothing else) be considered "cheap"?

 It all goes back to definition.  Anyone can define anything however they choose (they don't have to use Webster's).  Once they do, they can then defend any premise based upon that definition.

 Seems to me that the proper "answer" is to find someone who has definitions similar to your own.

 One final thing: back to that term "cheap bastard".  Seems to me such language is strictly intended to be inflammatory and hence intimidating.  I for one have NO use for intimidation.  I prefer to have MY sex with someone who does not feel they need to resort to such tactics (which for me make it more trouble than it is worth).

-- Modified on 10/27/2005 12:22:13 PM

-- Modified on 10/27/2005 12:35:08 PM

-- Modified on 10/27/2005 12:51:41 PM

I have noticed that some times prices increase by providers don't go over very well. From reading you reviews about the discounts, you would be better off keeping your prices where they were back in June. There are other providers who have more reasonable prices and that is where clients are going.