Hello everyone in TER land. I had an incident today and want to make sure I  not in the wrong. In my opinion I am not. So I make an appointment with a guy I have seen before and was comfortable and more then happy to see him again. We agreed on 90Mins and agreed on the rate. He came in took a shower and then we got down to business. Appointment was for noon and he saw fireworks at 1:15pm. We chatted till 1:30 and then he got up and went and showered and got dressed. At 1:36PM he walked out the door. Just before he left he pulled out a sealed envelope and put it down on the table.  

Some clients are idiots, and don't understand they are paying for time...that includes time spent talking.

I'm surprised that you didn't take care of the biz within first 10 minutes! Even for an established clients, it should be a common courtesy to take care of it ASAP.  And you should confirm the amount while he's in shower.
You should've gently reminded him.

Sidney...You were absolutely right in feeling how you do and did nothing wrong. It sounds like he intended to pull this all along based on what you wrote. What bothers me is he left you a sealed envelope with the hourly rate after 1) booking a 90 minute appointment and 2) stayed 90 minutes plus with some lame remark about talking..
I have a clue for him in case he forgot...Hey asshole ..you are paying for her time! Thats it... nothing else...... It would seem he had this in mind all the time unless you know for sure he somehow enclosed payment in the envelope at his time of departure.. I would out him on the girls board!
Im sorry you went though this..hope the rest of your week is better! Its jerks like this who make things bad and breed distrust between everyone

I don't blame the OP for not counting til the end.  This is the second time she's seen this guy; and she says they agreed upon the rate.  We haven't heard his side, but from her side, he was playing her cheap.  At least he owned up and made her whole.  Not good when stuff like that forces people to become more "business-like," when part of the charm of hobbying should be the escape and intimacy afforded by mutual trust...

Well there is usually two sides to every story...but doesn't look to be in this case.

It is probably hard to do, but I guess the lesson is to ask for the funds up front, even with repeat guys.

Actually really uses an envelope?

I always keep an eye out to make sure donation was laid out but I has seen him before and therefore trusted him a bit. And I really don't want to be like give me my money at the beginning of the appointment. Most everyone pays up front.  

If he gave you the hour amount, that means he had that amount in the envelope...not the 90 minutes.

All due respect, only Sid and him know. I think she got scewed and ought to tell ladies on board about him. Sorry sid.

He tried to hustle you...chances are he has done this before and it worked. Good job for calling him out on it.

It was good she told him.  
One time long ago I was sort of rushing and made a mistake in counting and put the donation in an envelope.  
After I left the provider called me and without hesitation  I got the rest and took it to her. I sincerely apologized to her.  
I was very embarrassed that evening. I didn't do it on purpose but it was still bad

Some providers specially those that are very discrete like the clients to use an envelope.  
I usually don't use it but one time the provider took the donation I had put on the tv table put it in an envelope and left it there in the same place.  
Her message was obvious letting me know I should use and envelope when I see her so with her I do.

Sorry if if am repeating someone else but it's real simple.

I felt that I have to tell my side of story:

I've known AsianManNOVA for a while now and I can attest that he is a good guy. He'd never short anyone intentionally. Otherwise we'd have known about it long before he got all his references.

And you were wrong and are still wrong. You contacted me for an appointment and I asked how long do you want? You said an hour but that you might go longer if I don't wear you out in the hour. I like my appointments booked ahead because I plan my day so I said why not just do 90mins and I have you a discounted rate and you said OK. I am a provider am this is what I do for my business and I enjoy it. It doesn't hurt to ask and you quickly said YES.

If I thought I heard a lady offer me some kind of special, I would state my understanding of what she said back to her so as to make sure we were both 100% on the same page.  I suppose what she said could have seemed so unambiguous that this wouldn’t have seemed necessary though, ...then again people do misspeak, so better safe than sorry (especially when we are talking about the most critical component).  Pretty sucky situation for both of you - if it was truly a misunderstanding and no malice was involved.

Did he come back to pay the $100 he shorted you by ?

I did mention he made it right. He didn't come back because he had left the area. He wired me the money via PayPal. I don't think he felt he really owed me it but because I spoke up and was clearly upset he said he would. And I never yelled at him , I got a little heated after he said "But we for the rest of the time I didn't think I had to pay for that".  So it's a messy situation don't you see. I should of spoken up when I noticed he hadn't placed my donation anywhere.   I just have never really had this issue. The client knows the providers rate and done.  I hated when I worked at a PV agency and we had to talk about money all the time for this and that. It's NOT sexy.

I'm still having trouble understanding why asianmannova would short you. He's not broke and has seen many providers without trouble.  $100 is definitely not worth all this drama.

So you threatened to blacklist him and out him on the PO board before you even heard his side of the story

Why are you waiting to give the donation until you are on your way out the door? You are not a noob apparently and that is a noob move.

Good thing about train wrecks like this is the ability to scratch ladies from a 'to do' list. Your first sentence here says it all. BSC.  

This post had NOTHING to do with outing anyone. I NEVER brought up BL. And I never mentioned his name. Two people were involved and obviously upset by it. I never threatened anyone and never said I would BL them, I believe BL should be for dangerous people. I think that the DNS lists gets abused and used incorrectly.   I was confused because when I noticed the blunder and I brought it up I was told that the total time spent together wasn't to be compensated. Anyone would be upset. I spoke up, that is merely all and I guess there was a fear that BL would be involved. But NO that has nothing to do with the situation. I don't throw stones at glass houses.  I  have never brought any issues to the boards and I wasn't doing that now. Just wanted to know if I was wrong in any way? Because I do try to think about both sides involved and I really hate confrontation.  I didn't mention his name once and was not starting any drama. There is no drama. Now what happens is more and more  people chime in and it becomes messy.  I have been in this business for a while and treat everyone with respect and kindness. I really enjoy what I do.  

this guy has been around forever and he does not have a shady history as far as I know.

Posted By: Sidney Starr

Hello everyone in TER land. I had an incident today and want to make sure I  not in the wrong. In my opinion I am not. So I make an appointment with a guy I have seen before and was comfortable and more then happy to see him again. We agreed on 90Mins and agreed on the rate. He came in took a shower and then we got down to business. Appointment was for noon and he saw fireworks at 1:15pm. We chatted till 1:30 and then he got up and went and showered and got dressed. At 1:36PM he walked out the door. Just before he left he pulled out a sealed envelope and put it down on the table.  
   
  So couple minutes later I pick up the envelope and open it and he has only paid me for an hour even though we AGREED upon 90Minutes and he definitely stayed. I called and texted and hot nothing from him until am hour later. He said he figured he only had to pay for an hour since we spoke for a half hour. Wrong again he arrives at noon, "pops" at 1:15pm and walks out my door at 1:36pm. In my eye he owes me becAuse he paid for 90minutes of my time. Appointments are never exactly the same but it's not fair or right to take money away from a girl if you decide to leave early or to pop early. Excuse my wording of POP but you all know what I am trying to say.  
   
   He got upset and said I was trying to accuse him of something  he didn't do but he definitely handed me a sealed envelope without taking out any money from it.  After I pressed it he did make it right and paypal me the remainder but I am not happy about this situation.  
   
  This has never happened before except one time the guy booked for 90mins and was done and happy after 20mins. He then walked over to where he had placed the money and tried to subtract from the agreed upon fee. I spoke up then and he stopped. Lol  
     
    Am I right or am I nuts. I  not one to complain in the boards but it is bothering me and unsettling.  I try to make my clients happy and I treat them with respect and I do expect to be treated with respect in return.

-- Modified on 3/7/2014 3:15:14 PM

And this my hobby friends is why I never ever call to set an appointment and why I get suspicious when a lady insists on calls only and won't schedule through text or email.  I'm not saying Sidney has this policy but some do.  If I book via text or email there is much less chance of this crap happening and if it does I have in typing what was said.

If the biz was taken cared in the beginning. Not faulting anyone, but hope we all chuck it up as an experience and move on.

Because if not then what the heck does "being around" a long time have to do with anything. Do women review men? Obviously not, so a shady history is not something that would necessarily be known on the men's side. The fact that he reviews has no absolute bearing on someone's character.  

you think too much.  

this is, or if not, should be SOP and part of the self help section of this site. One of the 10 commandments if you will.

Personally I think this is not untypical of a mis-communication that has hair trigger mistakes written all over it (From both sides)  

Even after he paid you and added some to it, you still felt the necessity to post? And for you to say that you were not going to share his handle/info with anyone even privately is total bullshit. Then you say that you had to press him. Come on. Your story has more holes then swiss cheese. Of course you were rude and obnoxious to him. You thought that he "stole" from you.  

And YES, I hope so lol

Even if he left early, he booked for a specific amount of time and you accomadated for that time. You didn't rush him out jipping him of the agreed upon time. And he clearly only believes  that the whole 'paying for your time agreement' was just a saying.  

I'd definitely say he inended on only paying for the hour because he pulled it out of his bag *already* sealed. He seems to be under the impression that the talking was separate from your time. And thinks he is *really paying for his pop and nothing more, in other words you are the same as a street walker giving specific services for specific amounts. And yes he should  be outed.

Uhh, 99& of anyone I've ever seen. It is more discreet.

I do see both sides, however..even if he thought he was booking an hour with the possbility of staying longer...he stayed , that is the bottom line. Doesn't matter how* the time was spent.

Like so, you people need to get some perspective.  

If i were the judge, I would have to rule in favor of Sidney. For the sole reason that she tried to call immediately and the AMIVA did not answer. It gave me the impression that he was, in legal terms "Fleeing the Scene" after trying to pull a fast one.

Your disparagement is offensive

and BTW you don't know my qualifications.

I have never had a girl check the envelope in my presence. And if she did I'd be pretty unhappy about it. In these transactions there's a certain amount of trust required. Trust that we're upstanding guys and will uphold our end of the bargain.  Trust that she will provide a high quality experience. I go into every appointment knowing EXACTLY what my rate will be.  If I'm not sure I ask.  Even with girls I've seen multiple times. And I do that because that's MY responsibility.

Perfectly understandable to have turned off the hobby phone, so no evidence of "fleeing the scene," Judge Judy.

That he is no novice hobbyist. When he booked with her, he intended and it was understood that it be a 90-min session. He knew how much it cost, and knew that blabbing, foreplay, intercourse, Showering, DATY, etc., all eat up time.  When he is about to leave, he pulls out the 1-Hr rate and not the 90- min rate. Once out the door, the hobby-phone does not get answered.  

I have never, and would never reduce the donation.  Its an agreed upon fee, so if we agree on a 90 minute appt. and I have to leave after 30 minutes, I was an idiot.  Heck, even if you told me to reduce, I think I'd refuse.