I think it is appropriate for you to confirm the appointment length at the beginning of the meeting.  I'm not sure whether it's a good idea to put instructions for the envelope on your website, but I'm sure there are discreet ways of asking for it.

I guess that's the downside of checking the donation after the fact.  Though taking your current position is the classier move, it does open one up to being taken advantage of.  I've read a couple of similar stories lately.

Having been around for a while, I try to remember to dicreetly leave the envelope and then retire to the bathroom to wash hands and freshen up.  This provides the opportunity to check the donation.  It's your call though.

Bottom line is, we're all adults and the guy knows what he's there for so why spare feeling?  Just my $.02

as a common courtesy once either person is aware of a reason to have to change their agreed upon schedule.  Hopefully, the heads-up of the change is received soon enough so that nobody is inconvenienced.  If they are, then an offer (from whomever caused the issue) to compensate the other person  for the inconvenience would be the appropriate and courteous response that I would expect.

Sorry to hear about your experience with that guy.

if I had back all the money I have paid for hours that turned out to be 15 - 20 minutes, I would be a rich man.  And if I also had back all the money donated in the name of GFE that was received by a ICSYOTJE "I can't stand you or this job experience" that would make another small fortune.

I am in NO WAY excusing the behavior, Please Believe that!  What I am saying is that it seems people on both sides have their stories of getting shorted and taken advantage of.

I feel for you and whoever this guy is, he is a jerk.  If YOU agree to a time and then YOU have to change it, you let the lady know ASAP or you just pay for the time agreed even if you can't stay, or if it is very last minute, you offer at least something to compensate the lady for the time she set aside for you.

There you have it...MY opinion.  Worth much to me and maybe nothing to you...just like everybody else's opinion.

JMTC

shortening the appointment time should be OK as long as it is well in advance of a final confirmation call that sets the details in stone.

In general, I think you are probably going to get the responses here that mimic what you think yourself. That is that an appointment, and the corresponding donation, should only be shortened well in advance, with mutual agreement. By the time the hotel is arranged, it is far too late to do it gracefully or fairly.

Bummer that such things have happened to you recently, Raegan. Try not to let the few knuckleheads get to you.

Ren'man

From chatting with the guys I've heard stories of how they have been ripped off or misinformed.  

I know I have booked and paid for a room only to have a no show.  Thank goodness it has only happened twice. I've had men who own their own businesses and drive $50,000 cars "shorten" me on the donation. One time a guy took a ten dollar bill and "adjusted" it to make it look like a $100 and the way it was folded I couldn't tell until after he left. Got to love it. sic  Anyway email me the losers name so I can put him on my DNS list.

He should have told you BEFORE you booked the hotel.  Of course this is ideal and there are always emergencies and agreed upon exceptions.

Raegan:
Sorry this has happened to such a nice lady. The way to avoid communication problems like you describe is to be frank, honest and open. I know, esp with newbies, that the whole discussion of money and time at the begining of the appt is hard. Many ladies state they will end the appt if it is discussed. I read how one guy recently left before his appt started, because the lady wanted to count the money up front. How about, "Hello big boy, this was date was for 90 mins, right?" A piece of paper or tape that says envelope on the counter/dresser and point to it.  "Why don't you go wash up, while I make my call that everything is OK." Then count the money, immediately, and you know if all is well.  Thats the way I have seen some ladies handle it. Although I did forget to take the envelope once with an ATF that I had seen many times. Half way down the hallway, I ran back and knocked on the door and appollogized profusely...Better luck in your future...

there have been times when I have made a date and forgot how much time I get.  With that said. I always put the time in the last pm or the phone call to get the room.  Its then fresh in the minds of the both of us... I would not think of shorting any lady

I have had friends who have left early and those who have come late. In both instances, my gentlemen friends paid the appropriate fee for the time they booked, not the time they were with me. Of course if I were late or had to leave early, I would suggest prorating the booking fee. Otherwise, it is more than fair to pay for the time booked. My friends never discuss this, as it is just a given to them. Good luck to you! Xoxo, Giamarie

First off you took on a newbie and not everyone with your notoriety will do that. You took extra time talking to feel safe and to help calm him. He more than opportunity to ask to change the amount of time he had requested yet didn't. You gave him an opportunity to make it right and he didn't. He is a jerk & an asshole and make other hobbiest look back, especially newbies.

To answer your original question I would think at least a day in advance unless of course the appointment was made same day. The man should have paid for the 90 minutes since there was no request by him to change it. Even if he had asked at the beginning of the meeting he still should have paid the full amount.

I'm sorry you had that experience. I'm going to go off of what the gentlemen I have seen usually do. I come into contact mostly with doctors, attorneys or company owners, etc. They always get calls from their colleagues or employees for various reasons. And there are times they had to leave early. In all of those instances, they took care of the agreed upon time. So based on that, I will say that the gentleman should not inconvenience the lady. If there is going to be a change in appointment duration, then the gentleman should apprise the provider of that change. She could have made other arrangements had she known.

It's always good to get a heads up ; ))

Hopefully, this guy will read this post, realize how wrong he is and how short-sighted he's being and make his word good.  If not, let others know.

If it is his fault he should pay the full time booked.  In fact, even if it is no one's fault (i.e. traffic delay, lost, whatever) he should pay full boat.  A deal is a deal.  Only if the provider delayed would it justify reducing the payment.

Anytime is the appropriate time to shorten an appointment.  It is never appropriate to pay less than the time booked.  If I run late or have a change in my schedule that causes me to have to leave early, that is my fault/problem and it would not be fair to want to pay for hh when I booked an hour.  I once had a provider voluntarily give me money back when I only stayed for half an hour.  Very classy move on her part but I refused as I booked an hour.  A client paying for less than time booked (or actual time if the appt. runs long) is not better than a provider rushing an appointment.

If anything I've tried to upgrade never downgrade and always be on time.  

Unfortunately I don't know how you should approach the matter.  I guess just say I'm sorry but I have to bill you at the rate we agreed to.

sounds like there is no pleasing this guy.  He shorts you the money (no matter what he intended, he still stayed way longer than an hour)and now he's trying to blame you.  He's a big boy and I have no doubt that you gave him signs that whenever he was ready to begin, you were ready.  I wouldn't worry about the review.  You have plenty of good ones and the hobbiest are smart enough to not give alot of credit to someone who only has one review compared to all of your others.  

At least you got something out of this mess - always confirm length of appointment prior to starting.

Have a great week,

Kari

I think you are great with newbies, would highly recommend as a guy's first.  Good conversation to help relax the situation, non-rush no-pressure no-quit service and not a clock watcher anyway.  Lack of emphasis on the envelope I see as a plus but does carry the obvious risk.  I wouldn't change your "in-room" style despite this incident.  Good luck.

I'm hearing only one side of the story, so I can't say I know what's going on...but from you posts, it seems like there could have been an honest miscommunication, but then afterwards he also agreed to pay the remaining amount at a given time, and then didn't, right?

That's usually enough of a sign for me that this is a person (applies in regular relationships too) who is using a common ploy of trying to turn their wrongdoing into your fault. Staying 90 mins, only paying for 60?  Well, you talked too much, so I was unhappy about it...and that's why I think I should have paid for only 60...etc.

I'd look at the facts objectively and not get steered into feeling guilt, or feeling like you need to change what you're doing, if you know you haven't done anything wrong.

He gives you grief and threatens to bash you with a bad review.....but he still wants to see you again??  Even if his gripe were legit (and it is not - you were working hard to ensure he was relaxed enough to enjoy his experience), I don't think the atmosphere the second time around will be any better.  Sounds like a no win situation to me....recommend you cut your losses while you are ahead.

You don't have to be terrifyingly explicit when setting up an appointment, but you definitely need to establish the length of time you're booking for.  It also is important to let one or both know if there's a hard limit for scheduling -- if someone has to be at a meeting at 2 o'clock, or pick up the kids at 3:30, for instance.  If you're reserving him a block of time, you should let him know ("I'll see you at 11 for a 90-minute session"), and be honest about the time; I had an uncomfortable experience once with a lady who relied on a clock radio that was set ahead about ten minutes and cut me off with 15 minutes left even by her set-ahead clock because "she had to be somewhere".  I wound up paying for a full hour and getting about 35 minutes, and decided that I would not be repeating with that lady.  Her excuse was plausible given the time of day, but it's also possible that she just wasn't into me, or the session, or something else.

I've also had a lady misinterpret my comment about "slipping out on my lunch hour", and what I thought was going to be a pleasant 30-minute break became a quick "wham bam" session; she realized the mistake when she saw that I'd given her the 30-minute donation and apologized, and made it up to me on my next visit.  Trying to treat people right goes a long way in my book.

I have some general expectations for sessions, although circumstances can always alter cases.  If I book more than an hour, then barring something really unusual, I'm expecting multiple rounds; in a similar vein, if I book a short session, I'm going to temper my expectations.  If you spend 45 minutes wanting to chat after I've gotten naked, that's not OK; however, if I'm initiating deep conversations, then that's my option for using the time.  I also try hard to be on time, and to touch base with you just beforehand in case one of us is running a little late, so please try to be available for my text or call.  If you say, "I'll see you at 11", and then send me to three different locations before you give me the real address, then don't expect that I'm going to be content with being rushed out at noon on the dot.