Renowned chef "Tia Travels" wishes to meet in:

T Y S O N S__C O R N E R  (November 16-18)

...for a personalized culinary experience.

WHAT TO EXPECT?  Tia is no lazy susan.  She is
widely known as 'al dente' (not too soft, not too overdone.)  She has
a rump roast you will take delight in.  Your eyes focus on the Tia buffet
while she whisks you away with her sweet aroma--(which describes her flavor
and fragrance.)

SHE DESIRES TO MARINATE YOU.  She will be dressed & fresh and ready
for you to peel, pinch, perhaps whip (if you're in the mood) to get her to
butterfly.  No cutting needed. She should spread quite easily.

IS SHE THE ENTREE?   No, you are.  Her ladyfingers will knead you and
your mussels, sometimes grinding, coddling you, producing drippings of your
own au jus (natural, unthickened juices) which she will try to coat herself
with.

YOU WILL BE SENSUALLY BEATEN until a stiff peak forms...stiff enough
to stand on its own.  Oh no!  You're at the hard-ball stage.  You will
probably be very preheated at this time.  She might continue to baste any
drippings back over you so as not to dry out the meat before she finally
asks to be stuffed.

YOU & HER WILL BE MOISTENED AND COMBINED-- not on a cookie sheet but
rather a fitted or flat sheet. She will be ready to drain you but decides to
have your sweet icing drizzle over her muffin instead.

SOUND GOOD?  Well tell her so!  Drop her a line
to say hi!  Better yet...tell her in person!  

Schedule something today.

CONTACT:
phone:  586-997-7506 (please repeat # slowly)
write: [email protected]
or fill out reservation form at: www.tia-travels.com

AVAILABILITY:
November 16th--4pm-11pm
November 17th--6am-11pm
November 18th--6am-noon

OxO,
Tia

That's one of the best written ads I have seen in a long time.