How do you guys do it?   I am probably one of the younger gents here and I have no kids, or S/O at the moment. So it is not uncommon for me to find a "hookup" with a regular everyday girl, and the sex is... well... boring and not very satisfying. I know I am not the only one.

I think that spending time with the amazing ladies in the P4P world have really messed up my expectations. The chances of finding a non-pro girl who is willing to go more than 2 rounds, or do any of the other great activities found in the hobby world is basically zero. And if I did find a girl like that I would probably wife her right there.... LOL..

that this lifestyle can become addictive.  I was in my mid 30s when I saw her and, a decade later, I certainly see the wisdom of her words.  But I don't regret this for a minute.

I haven't taken the plunge back to civvy dating, but I can imagine the frustration.  I'm alright looking but not a guy who could get tail easy.  I'd have to work for it and then it would be like what you said....a let-down.  I mean, no DT or CIM most likely.  No greek, no MSOG and repeat BBBJs with BS.....and definitely no TUMA.  Good god, a girl might walk out if you even asked.  I need to go back at some point to get a wife and family but how will I deal with it?  I don't know.  

A big name, super-hot pro told me recently that you don't quit this.  I'm worried she may be right.  So many hot girls out there......and me with enough cash to do almost anything I want to them. How do you quit that?

There is something addictive about this life. The women are fascinating, the sex is great, the variety is… overwhelming.

 
But one thing civilian life offers that this “hobby” can’t match is time. Wide open time. I mean leisurely sex. I’m not saying sessions aren’t great, but sometimes I feel like I’m doing a greatest hits medley. Lick here, caress there, position 1, position 2, gotta bring her ‘round before the bell rings.  

There’s usually not enough time to go off on a tangent, to work some sensitive spot you’d forgotten about, to find new spots, to try something new just to see what happens. Of course, you’ve got time to do all that over the course of several sessions, but there’s nothing like doing it when it’s 4:00 on Saturday afternoon, there’s no game on, and you’ve got nothing to do and nowhere to go. And when 9 o’clock rolls around, you’re both free to collapse and snore your asses off.

Or lazy Sunday mornings when I should be working but her butt just looks too good for me to leave alone. Lazy Sunday mornings that turn into sleepy Sunday evenings.  

That stuff. That’s what brings me back to the civvy world.

And what brings me back to this world is being browbeaten about promises I never made, blue balls from sex that’s become selfish and one-sided, introductions to her 5th cousins from Chattanooga I never wanted to meet…  

And the fascinating women with their particular set of skills and their sideways ways of thinking

In the everyday world sex and the human body are still largely viewed as "sinful" and something to be ashamed of. That is, of course, why we flock to this "underground" world---to be spared of these societal restraints. I've been a part of this life for roughly 15 years and while I've had a great time indulging in this "hobby" the downside is that---at least in my case---I've developed a growing "contempt", if you will, for the mainstream. Why can't our minds be more open? Why can't we live more freely without so many uptight hang-ups?

 From a woman's perspective---in all fairness it's not just societal programming--but also a legitimate fear factor. I've had a few providers tell me they PREFERRED providing to conventional dating because the screening process made them feel so much more secure in who they would be meeting. Sometimes I wish we could somehow bring back the early days of the hippie movement (before Charles Manson, rampant drug abuse, etc) when for a brief period it seemed like there was such an energy and optimism and people wanted to live more freely and communally!! It just seems like the combination of societal and religious intolerance along with fear has relegated sexual freedom and liberation to a permanent "underground."

 And last--but certainly not least---there's big money to be made!!

Never having had much success with one night stands, the girls that I have gotten involved with outside the hobby  have been pretty much, as you say "Not very satisfying." As the matter of fact, the better looking ones are the ones that really suck in bed (no pun intended). Not only the fact that they lack in skills but the psychological games become annoying. Things like using sex or depriving you of sex to manipulate you into doing what she wants. The worst is the post sex regret syndrome when they completely ruin the afterglow with the following words "I cant believe I did that" or I Can't believe I let you do that."

The only upsides to civie sex is that the girls tend to be a little bit more affectionate and of course that you can take your time. As far as cost is concerned, there is an old saying Free Sex Is The Most Expensive Sex A Man Will Ever Have.

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Knowing what you want is a big part of being happy in life. If you want to go back to civvie fun and still have variety, you need to swim where the fish belong to the same school as you. I've found far more open minded gals in Cali and NYC than I have in DC.  They can be found here too but a bit tougher to find. Open marriages, poly-relationships, swinging, Bi-girls, options are out there... Hunt for the forums. You'll eventually find the parties / clubs.

I do believe it's possible as long as you're honest with yourself and your partner. Prioritize what you want, make it clear to your SO what you value, and with some determination things will fall into place. If your lack of confidence is a mental road block, I suggest frequenting http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction to help build your game / confidence.

All this being said, even if you do find a good match, I think access to the high quality in the looks department will be a bit more of a challenge in the long run. We all age, but the talent pool is constantly refreshed. You'll be back

I salute you, Driven, for the title of your post!! That is absolutely spot-on perfect!! (I wonder if The Eagles were "hobbyists" LMAO??)

An escort wrote a book a few years back, telling tales out of school. She had a passage about overnights with Don Henley, said he smelled like alcohol even when he wasn't drinking. Was just coming out of his pores. Who knows whether it's true or not? People will say a lot of stuff to sell books.

It's a perennial dilemma -- unfair to ask a spouse maybe with kids, job, and aspirations to an enjoyable social life with friends to provide mind-blowing sex 24/7 whenever her SO wants it.  And the reverse is also true.  After a while, the passion burns out and the embers provide great memories and stimulus for occasional satisfaction.  That is modern love in most LTRs.    

How can that measure up to making an appointment, walking in the door, and having a breath-taking experience unmatched in the rest of one's everyday experiences?  It can't, but the downside is that the embers from that flame burn out quickly and need to be re- stoked.  Somehow, women in loving LTR's have to learn to tolerate occasional straying for its therapeutic benefits, and vice versa.  We're a long way from that, but rational solutions are at least in sight.  Frustrated husbands/wives in LTR's, UNITE!  Here's to sanctioned promiscuity!!!

There are many ways to play out the love/fidelity/excitement equation... I've found that swinging offers a great way to bring some sizzling hot excitement into a relationship WITH your partner on board, rather than in secrecy.

You both get to enjoy, and no one gets the shaft (unless they want it, LOL