At first I was afraid, I was petrified,

When you said you had 10 inches,

Lord, I almost died!

But I'd spent so many years waiting for a man that long,

That I grew strong,

and I knew that I could take you on....

But there you are, another lie,

I was ready for a big Mac

and you've bought me a French fry!

I should have known that it was bullshit,

just a sad pathetic dream,

Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans!

Go on now go, walk out the door,

Don't you promise me 10 inches,

then turn up with only 4!

Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't catch you out!?

Don't you know we're only joking

when we say size doesn't count???!

(Chorus)

I will survive! I will survive!

'Cos as long as I have batteries, My sex life is gonna thrive!

I will always have good sex

with a handful of latex!

I will survive! I will survive!. . .

Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control

not to laugh out loud,

When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!

But to hell with all your egos

and to hell with all your needs

Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!



(Chorus)  






 

...With a dual-L nom-de-plume, how is it our paths have not crossed before? I have a great fondness for Ls.

That is too damn funny!

Hmmm, Linda Lavin, Lindsay Lohan, Lori Loughlin, Lennox Lewis, Lucy Lawless, Luis Lopez, Lucy Liu, Lisa Ling and the 2 of us need to hook up.  that's be a GREAT party!

-- Modified on 5/24/2005 11:48:55 AM

-- Modified on 5/24/2005 11:49:38 AM

-- Modified on 5/24/2005 11:54:06 AM

-- Modified on 5/24/2005 12:18:10 PM

...on 2nd thought, cut out Linda Lavin too. As I recall she didn't do anything for me.

I almost fell out of my chair as I sang!!!  HAAHA

Thanks!  I am definately forwarding that to all my girlfriends!!!

Please try to keep it "attached", sweetie!  On the off-chance that you still canNOT, then please at least offer it to ME.  Otherwise someone might snare it away and auction it off on Ebay...  I KNOW I won't be able to afford it, THEN.  Hmmm, wonder what it would BRING??

A gentleman does not need HUGE to get me off, but I must admit I have a weakness for a big d*ck. I adore sucking and f*cking them. Well, actually I think I just like sucking and f*cking all d*cks. Does that make me a penisaholic???
And for some reason dildos just aren't the same as the real thing.

Wow, so nice to hear that we guys may STILL serve some purpose (other than monetary) around here.  With all this talk of providers on providers and female hobbyists (not to mention the lyrics of Lindsay's "chorus"), I was beginning to wonder?  It was getting to be enough to give us guys some sort of a "complex", or something...~~/

-- Modified on 5/25/2005 2:48:23 PM

Actually, Vanica said it FIRST.  I agree however, I should have put it in quotes since I intended it to be a quote of HER remarks.

 Now as for ME, the opposite definitely holds...

-- Modified on 5/25/2005 7:16:01 PM

Jeep, you're just NEVER gonna' get over that, are ya'??  I'm surprised you didn't go blind (or something) from that "observation"....:;. )

How about Lois Lane and Lana Lang? And while you're there how about Superman and Supergirl?

They've all done it to me TOO (in fact they didn't even ask first)!!  They all just plain DID it and didn't give a hoot WHAT I wanted...  You don't suppose that means they ENJOYED doing it, do you???