So I am new to the hobby and have found myself in a bit of a dilemma - which may seem somewhat trivial and silly, but I wanted to toss it out there anyway.

I've lurked around a bit and read up and followed the forums and things like that - but have yet to bring myself to take the plunge.  Why?  Although in my "normal" life I am a pretty confident person and have my shit together - when it comes to some situations I get an odd self-conscious streak in me.  Like trying something *this* new, or making a phone call to a virtual stranger, a lack of knowing what to say, or something - Plus I am on the heavy side physically, and am self-aware enough to know I'm not some kind of sexual god like Jeop or Lex  

So, anyone have this kind of thing happen when trying to break into the hobby?  Or still have it happen but have worked out a way around it?  

I'm curious what our resident ladies would have to say as well - any tricks you know, etc.  

Don't feel bad Self, my first date with a provider was a jittery affair also. You get over it, but guess what? I get a little jittery each and every date set up. You are starting right. Most do not. You are reading up, looking at reviews, lurking on the boards, it's all a learning process for that final plunge, which by the way do not wait to long. The women may all go away.

Pardon me here Self, but there are not Gods here or on any of the boards. If I had the money Jeop has I would now be at 350 reviews. LOL Be thinking of Mr. Benjamin. He does most of the talking in this community.

It does not take much to be a veteran hobbyist. You must have 10 or more views, been stood up by a provider with not call, no email or nothing to explain, and lastly be the viction of a bait and switch, where the beauty you selected behind door number 3 becomes a 55 year old toothless, topless, with tits to here abdomen provider that will turn you every which way but loose for the right Benjamin's.

Good luck! This is neither interesting or new, the dilemma you describe. It has been described by many, including myself.

Just report back on you first experience both here and in the review, so we know how your doing, or that the 55 year old sweetie did not scare you out of the hobby.

Very well Said
best of luck to you. You  may allso want to think about creating a solid screen name, and participate in some discussions once you start seeing providers.
Best of luck to you and report back so we know how it goes

Picking up a phone to make a date. Its really all that you are doing

We are much cheaper than a girlfriend or wife

Be careful on that first call.

Its gets addicting and you will never put the phone down

Ask smarty !!!

ALl my love,
CiaraHasSmarts

It is absoultely not trivial or silly.  I'd bet Jeop (undoubtedly the most experienced gentleman on the board) had a tinge of apprehension the first time he made a call.  I'm relatively new as well and still get a little apprehensive when I call a new lady, sometimes even with one of my regular providers.  Just relax.  The ladies know why you are calling, and being honest with them that you are a little nervous about taking the plunge can actually be used as a nice little ice breaker.  Just do your research and have a good idea about the lady you are contacting.  I've been very lucky thus far, and 99% of the women I have patronized have conducted themselves with the utmost professionalism, class, and understanding.

it is sometimes easier to schedule a private viewing (pv). I remember like it was yesterday how long it took to make that call to Blue gems and schedule an appointment with Kelly. That is how I got my start and within a couple weeks later I was well on my way.

We all have felt that feeling a lot at first, and I believe we still feel it a little all the time.  It will always be strange hoping for a GFE in the context of a business transaction.  (By the way, I respect the words of those experienced guys too, but if they were gods women would be paying them.)  Anyway, make the right pick is the best advice I can give.  Search for one who is older, seems sweet, is accommodating, knows the ropes, which is not bad advice in general.  How about LowProfileGirl?

My first foray (not including some much sleazier experiences back in the 80s, pre-internet) was at an Asian spa. While my most basic need was filled, I wasn't into the atmosphere, the fake talk, the weird shower thing, the fake tits (in this case), etc. But at least I had done it. I decided on one of the reputable local agencies for a second try and again had a mediocre time with a reasonably attractive, very professional girl who serviced me well enough, but somehow I still wasn't into it. It was all pretty artificial.

I thought, maybe this isn't for me, but my horniness/forced abstinence kept me browsing the ads until one girl (an E European coming through town with one of the FL agencies; she's sadly but inevitably long departed this scene) got my attention and wouldn't let go. Like you, I had been doing my research, and she was clearly a safe bet. I had big-time jitters but forced myself to make the call rather than go nuts. Jitters got worse but I made it to the hotel door. When she opened it, I was floored - a tall, slim yet ultra-curvy, drop-dead gorgeous girl in a classy yet sexy black outfit with a big smile was on the other side. Between the blood quickly flowing away from my brain to other places and her completely friendly, relaxed attitude, my jitters soon disappeared. We sat close and talked like old friends for a long time until I finally nudged us to the next step. When the good stuff got started, I learned what a GFE is - I literally forgot how I had gotten there and became lost in the experience. It was amazing and at least as good as anything I'd had before in "real life".

That experience got me hooked just as I was about to give up. You've started out properly, doing the research. You don't want to start out taking one for the team, so your first should be known and reviewed. If you do enough research, you can get an idea of the type of atmosphere different girls provide - do you want someone shy that will just let you take the lead, or someone agressive that will take charge? Someone professional that will make sure the session satisfies the basics on schedule, or someone that might seem more like a girl you'd meet in real life? Someone with a rougher touch, or softer? Do you have a particular need, a fetish? And so on.

Once you narrow down what you think you're looking for, just make yourself try it a couple times. Don't give up if the first one doesn't work out. In the end, for me it wasn't bad that the first couple were old-school pros that got me through it, even though I wasn't that into it. Those experiences helped prep me for the good one.

I go up and down with this hobby, and am not prolific like some. (Right now I'm in a down cycle.) But I've had some great experiences like that first wonderful one - I'm glad I didn't give up before that!

Good luck and report back.

The only time I remember that site is when its mentioned here !!

Your dilemna is much more common than most would believe.  

Find yourself an established, experienced provider-- most have a knack for easing nerves.

I usually get my new friends fully liquored up and have them chant "I am a Sexual God" until they pass out.  That's when I ease off their clothes and throw them around the room, mess up my hair, slightly smudge my make-up, wrinkle the sheets and strategically place my lingerie on various pieces of furniture.  Upon waking, I tell them I want to do it again but they always turn me down because of the pounding headache and occassional nausea (I buy cheap liquor).  They depart slightly dazed and confused, then I send the email detailing their incredible skills and they eventually return for a slightly less drunken session.  But every lady has a different method of calming those first time fears-- I'm not sure mine is standard practice.

Seriously, none of us expect you to be a sexual God.  Of course, we are always happy when one comes our way, but it is neither expected nor required.  So, relax and let an established Goddess guide you.  We are most intuitive creatures and can sense your anxiety-- we want you to be as comfortable as possible, because it makes us that much more comfortable as well.  

In my experience, Gods and Goddesses come in many different shapes and sizes.  Upon entering the business I was slightly self-conscious because I am far from model thin.  Somewhere along the way I decided to let go of those inhibitions which opened the doors to the best sexual experiences I've ever had in my life.

In most cases, that "normal" life confidence and togetherness will carry over to this fantasy world.  So, let that inner sexual God bust loose!

xoxo

Red

First let me say I am a sexual god....  I am fat, bald, I have BO and don't care about...  I get nervous on every date even if I have seen the girl before.  So with that said stick a toe in the water, pick a well known lady and have some fun... Maybe book 90 minutes the first time...

I just had my first experience and it was like being a 15 year old again.  I wasn't proud of my performance but I did walk away happy.  Choose the right provider and you'll do fine!

Self, If you have an email that can be displayed here, will do some good to you as a lot of guys can pm you on suggestions

Red, You may have missed your calling.  Maybe you should do stand-up, or be a psychotherapist.  Come to think of it, that's what you are already doing.

Jeopcon looks like the guy you'd pay to do your taxes.  Lex is bald, and not by choice.

I was a very active hobbyist for more than ten years, before TER was invented, now six years later the jitters are still there.  Lurk until you’re ready.  I remember lining up dates just about every night I was away from my wife and kids.  Someth8ing to think about, the 55 year old lady that trys to slip in is the least of your problems.  

Just as you lined one up one provider, you can often line up another.  On a few occasions I had the second provider lined up before the first one got off the elevator downstairs.  I always got the jitters, even when calling providers I’d been with before.  Remember to relax and remain flexible.  Sometimes the person that shows up isn’t what you want.

In fact, I found my ATF after somebody showed up I decided to bail out from.  I mean on the phone “she” sounded OK, but when the blouse came off the body I was suddenly concerned.  The shape was all wrong.  I had never seen anything like that.  Boobs and a body that was the same width all the way from armpits to hips.  Then I said to myself, “This doesn’t look right.”  

I was confused but couldn’t tell, I couldn’t see any indication of a package.  After a moment I stopped and decided I wasn’t comfortable.  I said as much.  He/she/it, seemed to be understanding about my new feelings and concerns (gee had it happened before?), I spoke about my discomfort and decided that this wasn’t going to work for me.

The provider dressed and as I paid a tip to cover the gas/cab, I was convinced by this time it was a TV, he/she/it suggested the name of the gal that I “might find more interesting” who I had already decided to call next.  While we didn’t talk about the first provider, I was even more nervous making the second call and even though that was five years ago, I still remember the jitters I felt waiting the 30 minutes for the second provider to show up.

My second point is to remain gracious, even when you don’t want to.  The providers are people too and they make a living providing a service.  The ones who are professional understand that everybody doesn’t like the same things that everybody else likes.  Style and taste differ for most.  

The providers, who don’t understand, usually aren’t high end and they don’t stay in the business long.  Under the second point, don’t be afraid to spend extra on providers who have good reviews.  It’s not worth saving $50 in the beginning while you’re trying to learn the ropes.  Jump in and have a good time, don’t get your self stressed out unnecessarily.   Let the girl’s help you have a good time.

I laughed so hard I think I had an aneurysm… (eom)

All of us are imperfect.  That's what makes us human.  I'm not fat (or what you would call obese) but I could stand to lose some weight.  Most of us could stand to drop a few pounds.  If you weigh 600lbs and and don't make any effort to take care of yourself you might have problems.  If you're 40 or 50 lbs over, but you're clean and pleasant you have no worries.

You have to keep several things in mind when you do this.  For starters chances are you aren't going to be the thinnest guy she's been with.  You also won't be the fattest.  You won't have the biggest dick she's seen, but it won't be the smallest either.  You're not going to be the best but chances are, you won't be the worst.  Even I get first time jitters from time to time.  And I've only reviewed a fraction of the women I've seen.  You're not going to be the best fuck she's had, but again, you aren't going to be the worst.  

A lot of the women may not like what it is they do, and most would retire in a heartbeat if given the chance to do something more mainstream with equal compensation.  In summary, they may not like their job, but that doesn't mean they don't like the people they meet.

Now simply telling yourself you're not the biggest guy she's been with isn't the best answer, but it is a good start.  My suggestion is learn how to eat pussy.  Because many guys don't know how.  If you can get a woman off from DATY she will be all over you above and beyond what is normal.  And that's when you start to have really mind-blowing appts.

But I was just pointing out to the original poster that oftentimes, the legend and the reality are quite different.  Most of us are simply average with maybe one or two outstanding traits.  And that this guy should let the ladies decide whether he's too big or not.  But overall he shouldn't be too worried as long as he's clean and well mannered.

...I went into have my back lasered and just started playing with the laser wand when the technician left the room. My first thought was "Wouldn't a Mohawk look cool" but not having a mirror, my Mohawk came out crooked. So I went ahead and just zapped the rest of it, figuring "Oh well, I'm sure this isn't really permanent -- that's how they hook you into coming back for more and more treatments."

Well guess what: it is permanent. Ooops.

I appreciate the great responses everyone - it's nice to know that the jitters are so common, even among the "veterans" out there.  Hopefully these hints and things will help out more people than just me.  

Oh and I was just having fun with the "sexual gods" thing.   Although admittedly my head is way too lumpy to ever go bald and become a Lex clone.  

..."normal", but I can live with that.

My recommendation is to purchase muscle relaxants in advance, lest you suffer the same problem I always have after I see one of the ladies...this is especially a challenge if you have to head either back to the office to to keep a straight-face with a SO later that evening...

Cant stop the ear-to-ear grinning!