I am relatively new to the hobby (three months active) and still have a lot to learn.
I was wondering, about how long it is reasonable to wait for a response to an email during the “agreeing to a time and place” phase? Is three days long enough? Four?
Twice within the past month, I have been engaged in email dialog after filling out a web site contact form and after a couple of exchanges …silence. If something I said in email or something on my profile or in screening came up and the provider decided against seeing me – I understand. That is certainly their prerogative. However, I’d really appreciate knowing of that decision.
I don’t need to know “why”, I just want to know so that I can make other arrangements.
Otherwise, I am just waiting for an answer that may not come while my opportunity passes.
I’d much rather hear back, “I think it would be better if we did not meet”, or something similar than nothing at all.
Thoughts
You can also generate other pairs of extreme explanations. Generalizations are not much help.
1) Some ladies in this business are so into pleasing that they cannot bear to say no. It hurts them to do so.
2) Some ladies in this business are so into the bottom line that they won't spend any effort on saying no.
There are ladies at either extreme and most fall in the middle. Many have good business ethics and/or see the long term benefit of being clear.
.... if no response in 48hrs try again and wait another 48hrs and if nothing move on.
I also suggest trying alternative methods .... send an email, and a PM if she uses review sites like this or verification sites like P411 and if she accepts text then text her also. Be thorough and if she responds to none of them well you've done all you could.
Works both ways. My rule 24 hrs both ways. Move on. Somw ladies more than others just hold off committing until their dance card gets clear or full eg vivian. Now that they got new place ans new lady hope that will change but we will see. My vote visiting low voulume ladues. They got numbers they need to make and try to dp that before they get her
Don't know about others but I dont think I've used the contact forms on ladies's websites as much as I get in touch through P411 or email. Usually hear back quickly. If I don't hear in a day or two I just go elsewhere. I like to start the process about a week in advance of when I want to meet.
that makes things go just like butter... smooth and slick!
Posted By: radiodictum
Don't know about others but I dont think I've used the contact forms on ladies's websites as much as I get in touch through P411 or email. Usually hear back quickly. If I don't hear in a day or two I just go elsewhere. I like to start the process about a week in advance of when I want to meet.
I had a provider who responded to me after a year and a half, coincidentally right when I was in her town. It was almost as if she had been tracking my location lol It was worth the wait though, she provided an excellent service.
I have come to find out that some are simply in the middle of something else that's going on in their life. Some don't even check their emails until they want to work again. I guess we can Blame it on the part time flexibility of this business... Or maybe some girls are just not accepting more clients. It could also be that she simply doesn't like what you wrote on the boards or found on Internet and refusing to see you
Plenty of others girls to see. I don't wait around much, maybe a few days at most.
Posted By: jeffdogger
I am relatively new to the hobby (three months active) and still have a lot to learn.
I was wondering, about how long it is reasonable to wait for a response to an email during the “agreeing to a time and place” phase? Is three days long enough? Four?
Twice within the past month, I have been engaged in email dialog after filling out a web site contact form and after a couple of exchanges …silence. If something I said in email or something on my profile or in screening came up and the provider decided against seeing me – I understand. That is certainly their prerogative. However, I’d really appreciate knowing of that decision.
I don’t need to know “why”, I just want to know so that I can make other arrangements.
Otherwise, I am just waiting for an answer that may not come while my opportunity passes.
I’d much rather hear back, “I think it would be better if we did not meet”, or something similar than nothing at all.
Thoughts?
..FLAWED. Great question though. Similar to my NCNS response in a thread below, IMHO and experience providers can go from ATFs to crack heads in 60 seconds.
Remember, this hobby is an illegal activity. So to think that filling out "professional" looking forms and expecting prompt returns to your calls and inquiries is an illusion. You should never have the expectation of customer service that you have with ordering a pizza, ordering off Amazon, Etc.. I could go on and on with the discussion of how being a provider and even a "john" wreaks havoc on the psyche via morality and guilt trips and how that impacts how people operate in this game. Hell a lady can be "professional" one day and wake up the next day with a revelation of "...what the fuck am I doing!?!? I am a prostitute! Let me take down my website, NCNS to all pending appointments, run to church and ask forgiveness." Same for the "trick." He could catch a whiff of guilt and NCNS all pending appointments, run to church and ask for forgiveness, then back to his sexless marriage. But we digress.
Newbie, keep it simple. This illegal hobby is not governed by the Better Business Bureau. You're liable to experience any all insults to "professionalism." The best you can expect is to use a service like TER to increase your chances of a good experience. Other than that, if your order is mishandled at Wal-Mart, Amazon, Ebay, Etc, they have a complaint and resolution process....not so in the Prostitution game.
With that said, if I don't get a response to my inquiry in say 2 - 5 hours I already have "orders/inquiries" in with the competition. Three days, Four days???? are you kidding me!?!? Unheard of to wait that long!!
...have been very professional. It's unfortunate your experiences have been otherwise.
Seems you're fairly new to this and don't know what you're talking about.
I'd have to agree with tall6969. While most providers I have seen have been responsive, I had quite a bit of unprofessional encounters too. I can put a hard number to it because I don't keep statistics but it's the wild wild west, kiddo.
This is considering I tend to avoid BP girls. I generally see upper end ladies but also agency girls. I TOFTT too and it's risky seeing girls brand new to the business.
There's no better business beareu, there's no set rule. Girls tend to do what they want. They manipulate reviews, and sometimes they blacklist guys who tell the truth. While some indies and agencies act professionally ( those with decent reviews and recommendations from respected hobbyists), there are just as many if not more who are unreliable.
Just because I don't write reviews all the time, and just because I don't camp out on TER doesn't mean my statement above is not true.
-- Modified on 2/15/2014 8:57:43 PM
Best to just stay quiet and not make a fool out of yourself, NEWBIE.
Book another appointment and take one for the team every now and then. Like you said, you hardly have reviews. Write some more fucken reviews then instead of relying on OUR reviews that apparently have spoiled you and shaped you into seeing the hobby world through pretty little glasses of illusion. You're protected from making the mistakes we made because we made them for you and you're benefiting off OUR experiences.
Explore what's really out there in the REAL world before you respond with more nonsense.
Have some balls and travel to the great unknown, without needing a review.
-- Modified on 2/16/2014 12:40:59 AM
1) high review count is no indication of "knowing better" or being more senior
2) "__________" has no reviews as far as can be seen
too funny......
This is an alias... or are you too dumb to notice that
1) Thinking review count = wisdom, knowledge, judgment, trustworthiness. It means nothing of the sort. It only means you have a lot of reviews. While some folks with many reviews are worthy of respect others are fools who get themselves into trouble.
2) Since you are posting under an alias there is no basis for deciding whether you are a newbie yourself, a foolish hobbyist with many reviews who has come to grief, or a wise hobbyist with many reviews and whose opinion matters.
QE fucking D.
But the simple fact is you're pretty condescending for someone with no verifiable history. In case you're too dumb to notice, that was the point. But you do have a stellar couple of weeks of postings that we can review. Let's see, in that time:
1. You "forgot" what tease and denial is.
2. You needed advice on what to do about a bbfs offer.
3. You seemed to think that there was some deep meaning in your Married Man's Manifesto that you just had to share.
4. You let us all know that your preferred method of keeping warm is staying home and beating off.
"Senior" advice from you? I think I'll pass
Maybe he's a 13 yo kid playing by himself in a basement? Don't know, don't care.
Shows your newness. It reads of it
I respond because it is entertaining to see how deeply you will dig this hole for yourself.
BTW if you were literate, you would have replied "Shows your newness. It reeks of it."
No extra charge for the English writing lesson, BTW. :
Better be able to think on your feet, have good instincts, and have thick skin.
With no rule of law, the only thing holding providers and hobbiests in-check is their reputations.
Little things that wouldn't affect reviews - like relations to ALL potential customers - don't exactly matter when your demand surpases your ability to supply - as unlike most businesses, the ladies can't exactly clone themselves to match demand. Because of this, they can largely winnow the herd however they see fit. And not replying is the easiest way, as it winnows the herd and saves time at the same time (which is essentially what Julia said ).
Just as in the wild west, there is a jostling in this world to determine who "sets" the rules. The ladies have their leverage, and the guys have theirs. Play smart, play safe, know when to walk away, and don't take anything personally (damn I came close to quoting the Kenny Rogers song there! lol!). For me? Ladies are fortunate when I consider using thier services, so I'm certainly not going to hound anyone for the right to give them hundreds of $$$. If I don't like their initial responsiveness, it's on to the next - just like if I walked into a restaurant or bar and wasn't offered assistance in a timely or courteous manner.
WHAT 2 to 4 Days, LOL...Are you kidding me....I'm more of a fly by the seat of my pants type of hobbyist, so usually if I don't hear back in 2hrs at most, I already made plans with someone else, or made a booty call to one of my civvie players on the roster.
DaTrufe
Since you are new, allow me to simplify things for you.
When sending a lady a request for an appointment, always use plain, simple everyday language so as to avoid any ambiguity in your message. In the subject line of your e-mail, use the words "Appointment Request". Do NOT use crude or vulgar language and always use a salutation (like, "Hello", or "Good Morning", etc.) and say please and thank you. These are things we all learned in elementary school.
Always send a lady at least 2 recent references (someone you have seen in the last 6 months) for her screening requirements. Yes, you should still do this even if you have P411, Date-Check or any other reference service. DO NOT wait to be asked for this information. Just remember, the easier you make it for the lady to "check you out", the better and faster your responses will be (this includes filling out her request form on her website if she has one).
Lastly, to answer your question with regards to how long to wait before moving on, I would say a good rule of thumb would be no more than 48 hours. Sure, there could be an anomaly like your request going into her spam folder, but the truly professional ladies do not leave you hanging. If you have a good subject line in your e-mail (as described above), chances are they will see it, open it, read it, and if you've done things correctly, respond to it in kind.
If none of this works, simply move on. It just wasn't meant to be this time. There are so many beautiful ladies to see around here, I cannot fathom putting all my eggs in one basket and sitting there waiting for a response longer than 2 days.
Thank you for your helpful response.
I hear all the time that guys really appreciate how great I am at responding and replying to their emails. I also hear many times how some girls are pretty flaky and their emails go unanswered. I am a provider and yes I have a life outside of being a provider, in fact I am in the baby stages of starting my owning business but I still MAKE the time to check emails and respond to them accordingly. I post my schedule every week and that isn't to keep me young, it's to gain appointments!
I say if after a day or two at the most and you haven't heard from a provider then move on. It takes some careful planning on both ends to match up schedules and to confirm an appointment.
Happy Hunting!
If I'm looking at some possible candidates for a business trip coming up six weeks down the road -- well, I tell them roughly what time frame I'm looking at in my initial "Hey, how ya doin'?" email. I do *not* expect that I will remain on her radar for more than a couple of days if I'm clearly just kicking the tires, but if I say, "Here's my screening information, my references, and I'm looking for 8 PM on Saturday April 5th for a 2-hour outcall to my hotel at such-and-such address", then I appreciate some kind of response.
Sometimes I've been told, "I don't book more than two weeks ahead", and that's fine. My playtime on the road is booked well in advance, and I'm most likely to keep looking. We might wind up hooking up anyway, and that's awesome if it happens. I've had ladies ask for screening info that I wasn't comfortable giving out, and that's fine, too -- we go our separate ways.
I agree with Julia -- when you're ready to pursue some other options, drop her a quick and POLITE line. Say something like, "I had hoped we would be able to meet on such-and-such a date, but it doesn't look like that will be able to happen, as I haven't heard back from you about our arrangements. Please let me know by tomorrow if we should be planning on making this happen; otherwise, I will be pursuing other options. Thanks for your time, yada yada...". I have very mixed luck with arranging anything on less than 24 hours notice, and prefer at least 2-3 days, so I'm looking to narrow things down about 5-7 days out from my planned availability. Within that time period, my tolerance for "not getting back to me" drops off significantly. I will sometimes send short "Hey, are you there?" emails if a conversation suddenly breaks off; text messages seem to get somewhat better response for me.
Accept that she may just fail to respond. Maybe she is poorly organized; maybe she's just unhappy about some particular aspect of the prospective arrangement; maybe one of her regulars wants an overnight on the day you wanted to schedule a 90-minute date. She might not want to spend the effort to work it out, and that's her call to make; she might just prefer to avoid a potentially awkward email. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
