10) Need to catch up.

   http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm

9) In this cold weather, a great way to keep my hands warm.

8) Too poor to hobby more than once or twice a week.

7) Too shy to have a GF.

6) Too proud to crawl back to my ex.

5) Too straight to befriend my neighbor.

4) The neighbor's dog is too nasty.

3) I hate to change my undies in the middle of the night.
 
  (When I was a teenage, I ended up wearing my mom's panties by mistake but that's another thread )

2) "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love ." - Woody Allen

1) Thanks to computer technology we only need one hand for the mouse.

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_mouse

The best strange I have had in a long time was using my left hand instead of the right.

Now THAT'S perverted!!!  (lol)

I simply can't afford my rates !!

"It's a prostatic stagnation hypothesis. The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them."

"A similar connection has been found between breast cancer and breastfeeding, where lactating appeared to "flush out" carcinogens, reduce a woman's risk of the disease, New Scientist reports."


So...I guess if we want the ladies to be healthy too, we should be breast feeding WHILE we play with our monkey...