The part I get most nervous about is going through the hotel lobby. I usually ask the provider when I make the second call (for the room number) where the elevators are so that I can walk straight there and look like I'm staying there.

I might be overly cautious/paranoid, but I'll have my IPod ear buds in (without the music on) so that if anyone were to call out to me I have a reason to ignore them and looking at a newspaper for the same reason

Am I being ridiculous? what hints do others have? Thanks very much

You sound like you think you're doing something wrong.  If anyone asks what you're doing -- don't lie.  Tell them you're meeting a friend.   I am not going to elaborate and nobody REALLY cares.  I think the effort of TRYING to be secretive makes you stand out even more.  Seriously.  "I'm going to meet a friend."  Short, simple, less obvious.

I always cover my face with the day's newspaper.

I try to enter through the laundry chute.

Usually when Im going to a foriegn hotel or any hotel to see a provider, I walk in like im on my cell phone and acting as if Im talking to a friend. In a quiet lobby of course u can hear my voice but im usually saying "man im so tired..cant wait to get some rest...or i am starving what places around here are good to eat."

Now if I go see a provider just for a quickie or 30min and i think it felt like i just walked down here, sometimes I go to the attendant and ask if any restaurants are still open or good..Just be friendly cuz chances are slim ur coming back there anytime soon...But thats just ME..Usually im more comfortable around dem while leaving and dont want to look like im hurrying out.

You are being overly paranoid.  Do you think hotel employees have memorized the faces of the hundreds of guests that are currently staying at their hotel?  They also realize that hotel guests often have friends and family coming to visit.  

Seriously, carry a briefcase/computer bag and walk directly to the elevator like you are going to your room.  the fake phone conversation is a nice touch as no one will likely approach you if you are on a call

I always pretend that I'm talking on the cell phone. Occasionally, especially when I take the Metro, I carry my bag.

By the way, when I need to pee, I stop by the public men's room first so that I could spare the lady from hearing trickles emanating from her bathroom.

Just go into the lobby naked and yell "OK, Thy cock is ready, Where is me lady?!"

Beefeater's advice is right on. I also try to exit through a side door whenever possible. I haven't tried the cell phone gag because it feels silly pretending to talk to someone, but I'm sure it works. No hotel employee has ever called me at the lobby. They don't know if you're a guest or friend/family of a guest. You almost feel like an intruder in this game, but's that's just a psychological matter.

1. Never, ever, let yourself be followed into the elevator. It could be LE checking to see what floor you're going to. This past Spring, I had a suspicious looking character follow me into the elevator at a BWI session. He immediately jumped off a few floors later. He looked middle-aged and was wearing a navy blue windbreaker and jeans. I smelled undercover LE and took the stairs on the way out. He had been sitting in the lobby sofa "reading" a newspaper when I walked into the place. I made the error of hanging around the lobby before my call and he must have noticed me--if he was LE.

2. Don't hang around the lobby. Go to the bar, if there is one, and have a belt, or stay in the bathroom until called, or hang at the souvenir/snack shop and pretend to look for something to purchase. Hotel bathrooms are usually very clean, and are a great place for last minute grooming or clothing changes.

They can't search your phone anyway so just keep it locked.

Not being nosy but sort of being friendly, as in "What brings you here tonight"... instead of a "wtf are you doing here?".  He was just being friendly...

I thought I'd be a smart ass and said to him something like : "I'm here to see my uncle's friend's college roommate's step brother's sister's first cousin's best friend's daughter" lmao.

He then said "Well, sounds complicated but hope you enjoy your evening".  lol

This happened out of state btw, not in DC area and yes I had a slight buzz after a drink or two. lol

what is the protocol for what to say when you do get stopped and asked...

Good advice, a few additional pointers:

1) If followed into the elevator, hold the door to let them in, then before punching you floor, ask wait for them to do so, or if they delay, ask them for their floor to punch it for them - then push a floor - level above your real destination - if your the only one getting off their, just get off then either walk the hall and return (if folks are waiting to get on, otherwise just immediatly summon a down elevator for your real destination).

2) if asked what your doing/why you are their, just say meeting someone on business.  If queried for details, just say something that invokes a need for confidentiality - e.g. - I'm a lawyer meeting a client/I'm meeting my lawyer; I work for a public company and insider trading rules don't allow me to discuss...these are legitimate reasons not to reveal much.  

3) If the hotel has a parking garage or a meeting/convention set-up, go their first, there is usually a direct elevator from there.  

I second everything said above.

Additionally, and perhaps this goes without saying, do not hang in the lobby or parking lot if you get the "hold" signal.  I've been asked to do this numerous times, non challantly, which I never do.  Better to drive around a bit until you get the room number, then head straight to the room.  Maybe, just maybe, hang at the bar if it has one that's there for more than just guests.

That said, there could be better attention paid to everyone's respective schedules to curb this issue.

I normally dress like a local businessman would (nice chinos, button down or polo shirt, dress shoes) and carry a laptop bag over my shoulder.  That way, I look like a garden variety guy who could be either a hotel guest or an attendee at a conference, etc.  If I'm early I may get a drink at the hotel bar or buy a bottle of water at the gift shop.  Act like that and nobody will ask what you're doing there.

I agree with the guy that said the harder you try to look inconspicuous the more you will stand out.  Honestly, I don't think the front desk staff or any other staff cares, unless you have to pass by a concierge or security to get to elevator.  (In which case you may want to find a provider that stays at better, busier hotels...).  Have you ever not gone up to your room and left an hour (or less or more) later when you have STAYED at a hotel?  Happens all the time.  Depending on your provider, the hotel, there are people coming (no pun intended) and going constantly.  
My two cents...

I went to see Kali, the beautiful blonde on bp a few months back.  She was staying at the JW Marriott at 14th & Penn (obviously not staying there anymore).  I'm not sure if any of you had been there after 11pm but you have to walk through a security gaurd, planted directly in front of the door, I assume to keep the riff raff out.  I did the whole fake call on my cell thing and he still asked me if he could help me!!??  Scared **less, I asked my fake phone friend to hold and said I was visiting a friend....then he said who's your friend and what room are they staying in!!!!

I gave a nearby room, like 605 instead of 608 or something and made up a name....and he called that room and someone picked and said they weren't expecting me!!!!  Obviously this guy is a real  **blocker, but I was determined....and thinking with my **.  So I said bye to fake friend and called the provider, and told her that the security gaurd downstairs said he just called you in room 605 (basically asking her if it was ok to give him her real room number), to which she replied "it's 608," not sure if she was just correcting me or if she understood what I was asking.  Anyway, he calls her real room and I go up and have a ball...after mine shrivelled up LOL!

I disagree.

I'd recommend upon entering finding a seat near the front desk and taking out the envelope and recounting the cash a few times -- out loud, if possible. Then go to the front desk and ask for her room # by her stage name, showing a pic from her ad if they don't have her listed. When you get to her room, if the maid is nearby ask her to come to the door to verify the lady is the one in the pics, but don't give the maid a tip -- that will just encourage her.

While this has always worked for me, it may not work for everyone. LOL

Man we all have some stories...How about 1 time off the late night tip I enter into a hotel parking lot on NY Ave (go figure) and security is out front and tells me to stop. I ignore him and just park. He asks for my drivers license. Yeah right..Luckily for me he was a lil hood and said any other day he would call his friends for driving without 1 but I could go ahead. Talking about scared s#!tless. He asked what room i was going in and luckily the lady opened the door. She told me I was da 1st she seen today in that room and although she could been lying he never bothered me again. Had a blast too but couldnt do a review since she took her ad down.