A lady needs to have a friend watching her back.
I believe in verification, but I will NOT provide agencies with my REAL name and EMPLOYMENT details. Going forward, I am going to avoid agencies to begin with. For indies that I do plan to see I will provide with my TER ID and I can even PM from my TER ID to theirs. I do have a few providers that have white listed me and will request the same favor from the new indies that I make friends with. That should give provider enough confidence to see me, and if it doesn't that I'm sorry to announce. THEY ARE IN WRONG BUSINESS.
Not a sermon, just a thought !!!
Good thoughts - I totally agree
Could someone shed some light on how agencies confirm that the "work" phone they are calling is a legit phone number? It could all be a facade. The company that I work for doesn't have phone tlisted on their website to avoid solicitation. There is no way for you to verify that I work where I say I work, unless of course, you TRUST me.
Of ladies not to contact.
That is insufficient information for me to feel comfortable meeting. Unless you're going to provide me your REAL first & last name along with reference, it isn't going to happen.
I know a lot of ladies may just take the TER ID but with what is going on I've less confidence in YOUR ter handle/white lists than ever. I prefer to do my homework myself and that includes complete verification and screening with your real information.
What you're asking is for US to assume ALL the risk in an environment that needs BOTH people to feel comfortable to make it work.
I don't advocate boycotting ALL agencies, but you should definitely be a bit wiser in your selection and interaction with them. There are some good SMALL agencies that fly UTR and there are some excellent independent ladies as well. To each their own.
Just my opinion.
Rae Monroe
understand your desire for the way you wan to work, but hey, I just want to get laid!
And she just doesn't wanna go to jail.... get raped.... sold into sex slavery or murdered but hey same difference.
I've been robbed at gun point... so all the things that can happen to a provider can happen to a hobbiest.... I'm confused on the inequality issue.
All I want to score is a home run...No wait a min...It's football season - so a touchdown.
So would you consider that a Slam Dunk too?
You provide me with service, I give you $$$. You give me your fake name, I give you mine. I think we are Even-Steven. I've told indies what my real name is, but not because they required it as a part of verification, but because we became good friends.
Also, how do you know the name I give you is real? Ever heard of fake IDs? A provider told me she got one from made from a website in China that she used to get into bars. There is no way for you to know that the id is real unless you run it against some database.
All you have at this point is a false sense of security. Get real honey.
For you to cop an attitude and tell me to "get real".
Why do I need a man's real information? Because you NEVER know how someone will behave with you. So when someone decides to hurt me or, god forbid something worse, my girlfriend needs to know exactly who to go neuter and throw into the river.
Your attitude is not appreciated.
A lady needs to have a friend watching her back.
Does that mean that now there are two people who have my name? Lady AND HER FRIEND???
However, it is irresponsible of anyone who is doing something where there is a Risk not to have a safety net. Case in point, the craigslist killer.
is exactly right.
It remeinds me of a friend of mine who checked a guys' wallet for an ID while he was taking a shower.
It seems he was an employee of INTERPOL. I guess he wsnt really worried about her trying to rip him off thinking he could pretty much handle the situation if she did. They became close friends btw.
Still, ya just never know...lol
Exactly...some can be perfect angels on the phone and through screening & all that good stuff but you dunno if mid-visit they go all psycho on you (happened to 2 girls I know).
I wasn't trying to give you any attitude at all. I can see that you are very well respected provider from your glowing reviews. However, you haven't answered my question. How are you going to verify that the name I give you is real? Lets say I do give you my real name, how do I know you wont out me in front of my wife and kids if we get into a fight 6 months from now? How do I know that you will destroy the name from you records once the appointment is over? As far as misbehaving is concerned, a bad person will do that even if you have his name on the record. You can report him even if you don't have his real name. There are other ways to track down people.
This is mine. It's called trust. You TRUST me not to out you to your wife. You TRUST me to destroy your information.
That's what being a well respected, discrete, and all around fucking awesome provider will get you. Trust. Discretion.
I like to think that I deal with men who are smart. A smart man wouldn't commit a felony to commit a misdemeanor. Trust me, I know there are a lot of other ways to track down people.
If someone gets busted seeing a provider it will most likely be a misdemeanor, with little consequence legally but more on the personal front. However, a smart man wouldn't commit the felony act of obtaining a false ID because that can and likely will result in a severe penalty monetarily and personally. It comes down to big and little. Risk. Big risk: getting a fake ID and using it while in the commission of a lesser crime. Little Risk: getting caught with a ho.
IMO anyone who obtains and uses a fake ID is a total moron and there is NO way to refute being in possession of a fake ID. However, you can STFU when it comes to seeing a Ho.
That's just how I see it. I like spending time with smart men, and for the most part I've given the my TRUST by taking the name they give me at face value.
That's just my opinion.
You bring up an interesting word. TRUST. If you trust me, you wouldn't want my name in the first place.
Reference check from reputed provider saying, "Joe Doe with email [email protected] and phone number 703-123-4567 is a good guy.
Like William Shakespeare said, "What's in the name?"
Oh damn! Am I off-topic again?
I have made this argument the entire time I was big into the hobby. YOU ARENT GETTING MY REAL NAME.............PERIOD!
And guess what? I have been with dozens of providers, some very well known. Never gave them a scrap of real info.
And who's to say you just decide you dont like me for whatever reason and then you have your thug friends throw me in a river anyway?
I kind of agree about the just having the TER ID and whitelist but it helps, lately it's hit or miss, they're a nice guy or they aren't. I don't keep anyone's info unless they are creepy, dangerous or crazy. I truly don't care, don't give a sugar honey iced tea to be in anyone's business....it's all for my safety. My screening is a bit lighter but even then some act really miffed about just being screened especially guys that have no refs and aren't on any sites which is weird. You will win some you will lose some. If you're a guy that doesn't want to be screened find someone who doesn't care but IMO a nice guy shouldn't have much if anything to hide because again I don't save info unless creepy, dangerous or crazy.
A girl wants more than you're willing to give then in the words of Jay-Z lol it's on to the next one.
That is insufficient information for me to feel comfortable meeting. Unless you're going to provide me your REAL first & last name along with reference, it isn't going to happen.
I know a lot of ladies may just take the TER ID but with what is going on I've less confidence in YOUR ter handle/white lists than ever. I prefer to do my homework myself and that includes complete verification and screening with your real information.
What you're asking is for US to assume ALL the risk in an environment that needs BOTH people to feel comfortable to make it work.
I don't advocate boycotting ALL agencies, but you should definitely be a bit wiser in your selection and interaction with them. There are some good SMALL agencies that fly UTR and there are some excellent independent ladies as well. To each their own.
Just my opinion.
Rae Monroe
I do understand your concerns regarding giving too much information. In the end, screening requirements just become another bullet point in the list of criteria one applies to the decision of whether or not to see a provider.
I have always required a first and last name. I don't know where you got where I didn't but since I started in this business I have always required the same things. Nothing has changed in my screening. Nothing.
Requirements as of May 2010 - http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewall.asp?BoardID=6&SortBy=DateCreated%20desc&SearchType=1&Author=raemonroe&DayFrom=300&DayTo=0&MessageID=172586&frmSearch=1#172586. This post does not mention any requirements for first & last name and work info. Just refs (presumably from other providers) are required.
Current verification requirements - http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewall.asp?BoardID=6&SortBy=DateCreated%20desc&SearchType=1&Author=raemonroe&DayFrom=300&DayTo=0&MessageID=193283&frmSearch=1#193283
For the record, on my website it says "First & Last Name" in the "required information" section.
Trust me, had our appointment gone further you would have been asked for your last name, the same as every other man who has crossed my threshold.
The fact is, you've never seen me, so until that day comes and I don't ask for your full information you can take these "board posts" and go sit and play patty cake with them.
First & Last Name *
http://www.raemonroe.net/#/an-illicit-intrigue/4532664607
See that little asterisk? That means "required fields". That has never changed since I have been a provider.
Just found it interesting that you assume "All the risk" when we NEVER get a real name, or anything... Don't get me wrong, you assume risk, but so do we.
Just curious, is Rae Monroe your real name?
Honestly speaking I don't know of anyone be it provider or hobbyist that ever uses their real names. It just makes a person way to vulnerable. I use a nickname, the same for everyone I meet and if a provider should want to save me they have to by my nickname.
How much more does a real name provide anyhow?
That is insufficient information for me to feel comfortable meeting. Unless you're going to provide me your REAL first & last name along with reference, it isn't going to happen.
I know a lot of ladies may just take the TER ID but with what is going on I've less confidence in YOUR ter handle/white lists than ever. I prefer to do my homework myself and that includes complete verification and screening with your real information.
What you're asking is for US to assume ALL the risk in an environment that needs BOTH people to feel comfortable to make it work.
I don't advocate boycotting ALL agencies, but you should definitely be a bit wiser in your selection and interaction with them. There are some good SMALL agencies that fly UTR and there are some excellent independent ladies as well. To each their own.
Just my opinion.
Rae Monroe
Both hobbiest and provers alike take an equal risk when agreeing to meet someone for the first time so why should there be greater emphasis on the bloke to provide all his personal information?
I agree that the ladies do need to protect themselves and should only do what they are comfortable with but providing personal information on a regular basis to prospective new talent seems a bit much. it'skind of like giving out your credit card info... once you've left it go out there you can't get it back. So you are then at the mercy of the person to whom you provided it to do as they say.
Given past experiences along with the resent "eleged" events that have taken place it can undoubtedly be said that folks are not being as diligent in protecting their clients information as they've made claim to do.
I understand each person will have their own view on this and some will agree and others will strongly oppose the notion but that is how the market works... if you only wish to share certain information... that is fine. just be prepared to limit yourself on which ladies may not be as accepting. The converse is also true.. .ladies should be aware that perhaps us gents may find providing too much info for references is not going to be as widely accepted and you may lose out on potentialy exceptional clietns.
As always the door swings both ways... so before folks go off half cocked about this scenario I think you should step back and re-read the original post which I happen to agree with. No longer will i ever proide emplyment info! i might be willing to provide my name if comfortable but a the previous poster mentioned... if the lady is using an alias then why the hell can't I????
Annonymity is woth its weight in gold in communities like this so why should we as hobbiests be any entitled to protect ourselfs from LE, crime, drugs, crazy providers. Perhaps not a frequent occurance but it only takes one to severely impact ones life.
I'd say there is a middle ground to be had but honestly... what is the point of submitting reviews and having a whitelist if providers are not interested in using these tools for verification. I don't sit around an conjur up reasons to avoid being screened but with how long i've been doing this it should show and be reflected in my reviews and reputation here that I am a reliable patron. If my taking time to review and comment on this board is of no use then why be a member???
Just My .02
Fog
All you guys out there get e grip on reality...whatever level of screening needs to be done will and should be decided by the ladies, PERIOD. Frankly, nothing further needs to be said, so let's stop beating a dead horse.
Seriously, what is your point in posting on this topic? Are you trying to compel ladies to see you with less screening than they are comfortable with? Are you arguing that there would be maximum screening rules beyond which no lady is permitted to go? I don't get it. The lady decides what screening she needs from you, and you have 2 choices - comply or move on. What are you proposing?
I am simply asking you what you want to accomplish, and your previous post does not answer that question. Very simple. No emotion at all.
There are some who wants verification/review site info AND a ref or 2 from a provider AND your employment info. Which 2 me is excessive, at least one of the 3 would be good enough. They aren't in the wrong business though and they shouldn't be made to feel bad (not saying that's what you were trying to do) for screening how they feel comfortable. So that's that.
Providers and hobbyists come at this from opposite ends with opposing interests and equal levels of paranoia. Providers are free to ask for as much information as they feel they need to be comfortable meeting someone. And hobbyists are entitled to decide not to provide the information requested because it is too intrusive. At the end of the day, the market decides who prevails in a particular case. The hobbyist who can't meet women he wants to meet because they won't accept the information he feels comfortable giving will have to decide whether to lower his guard and provide the information or be content with the more limited pool of providers who will accept what he is willing to provide. Similarly, the provider who is not getting appointments because hobbyists won't provide the information requested will have to decide whether to lower her requirements or be content with the more limited pool of those willing to provide the information she requests. "Verification" requirements, like donation levels, are just one more factor to be considered in deciding whether a particular choice is worth making.
Neither side is necessarily "right" or "wrong." Both sides are entitled to their opinion.
My personal screening varies depending on how comfortable I am in certain area.
Home in NYC .. I may be perfectly OK with reference from one lady I know personally or 2 references from reputed reviewed providers. ANOTHER option is name/work verification. Third option - datecheck/p411 with multiple recent OKs from reviewed providers.
When I travel, references are a must. In Chicago, RS2K becomes very important.
In DC ... name, last name, references, work info, DNA sample and pledge of first born all together would probably be OK. And this is why DC is not on travel plan at the moment.
If I didn't think I could trust a lady with my full name I would not see her. I probably have less to be concerned with than most, but if the lady did not present herself as someone that shares my sense of discretion I would not book the appointment.
I am a member of DateCheck and P411 and have references, so my full name may not even come up. But if she wants it (and I intend to see her) I will provide it.
As others have stated, there is no right or wrong here only preference. And really, isn't that why we are in the hobby?
Not a sermon, just a thought !!!
One more time...simple point...the LADY IS ALWAYS RIGHT! If you don't like it, move on. It is all about HER SECURITY - which directly impacts MY security. If you are too dumb to get this, please don't attempt to hobby. And RD...hope to get up the nerve someday...Holiday wishes to all...