I've been doing this a looong time. I've experienced several NCNS from of course the BP types but even the so-called tried and true “reviewed” ladies. I've learned, as Sidney noted, NCNS are a "blessing" in disguise. If you get indications that the provider is a “hot mess,” as you did, you should not expect anything but the worst. Once you got the email about her, her driver, not doing evenings, etc. etc. you shoulda simply cancelled then and/or if you wanted to hold out hope that it may work out you still should have arranged a back-up plan.
Yeah, shit happens, but given the particulars of your experience, clearly that appointment was on a road to nowhere and you had the signs early in the process.
Always, always, always have a backup plan.
Never get so locked in to seeing a particular provider that you get left holding your dick in your hand.
I’ve even experienced so-called ATFs who I saw for years go from reliable to crack-head in 60 seconds. Who knows why this happens but it does for a host of reasons that are speculative at best unless you know the particulars and details of a ladies civi life.
In the immortal words of Bud Fox, from one of my favorite movies Wall Street, to Gordon Gecko..."Gordon don't emotional. Do you want to sell or hold? Make a decision Gordon."
So in Accounting terms chalk it off to pilferage, spoiled goods, write offs. Cost of doing business. Nature of the hobby game