I have been seeing a particular provider since she started in the business. At 19 she started she was with an agency then left for another. Finally, she went independent. Over these 4 years a deep friendship developed and I started to care for her very much. She finished school and got a corporate job but still works as a provider. I visit her at least once a week for dinner and an overnight. Sometimes I see her up to 3 times a week. Needless to say she makes more in a week from me then my ex-wife does in a month.

A little about me. I am 44, single and somewhat successful. I started to hobby full time about 12 months ago and am loving every second of it. Courtney, Nina, Emma Anderson, Juliet Monroe, Jessie Yum Yum, The Desirable Companions Girls, The TGND girls, The ClassyDC girls have me hooked on them like as if they were a narcotic. How can a healthy hetero guy not be savoring every moment with these sweethearts.

Well, here is the problem. She recently discovered that I am seeing other providers and has not been herself. She found out my handle on TER and read my reviews. Needless to say that when she found out that I gave a girl mentioned above a score better than hers for looks and it turned an overnight session into a dinner and drop her off at home session. BTW no big deal because I can afford it but I still paid her the entire overnight fee.

Since then she has become cold and businesslike, just laying there like a manequin, having yes/no conversations and no longer returns my kisses. Just gives me pecks here or there. I want to continue seeing her but things are not looking good.

To any anyone in this industry who has gotten his/her emotions involved. What can I say or do to make her relax and be herself again. Otherwise, I will have to reluctantly move on and put another girl on the full time payroll.

One last thing. Please do not give me this "Don't get your emotions involved" BS because that line has  been crossed by both of us.

looks like the only thing that will save things for you, is if you write another review of her, with the higher marks, to ease her feelings, or find another lady to replace her.
or you could change your handle

There is nothing you can do except stop seeing her and move on. Once you've lost that connection there is nothing you can do, it's up to her to get over it.

Don't waste your time staying in touch. You had a good thing going for both of you but isn't going to get over your rating the looks of another higher than her.

I think time change things but don't count on it. After not hearing from you and getting what you gave her she might reconsider.

But don't kid yourself, you might be a nice guy, but it's also about the money for her. If she does miss you and want you back after you stop seeing her and talking to her, you know it's more about the money, unless she wants you back without financial obligations or expectations.

Move On

Stop keeping her on the payroll all together and then watch the behavior.

Don't forget the age/maturity level.  

If you are truly "into her" then communicate with her.

Just my .02

Why would you want to bother?  You see a pro because you want to get laid without any of the bullshit that comes with a real relationship.  Why would you want to pay for an attitude?  Sounds like she wants a relationship but still wants to get paid. Fuck that.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE WOMEN. The more the merrier I say! :0) But with all due seriousness I find it very hard to believe that her finding out you rated other girls higher than her was the ONLY reason she began to give the cold shoulder.  I'm sure it plays a role but I'm also sure it's not the only factor.

I agree with Lost Love and you should end all communications.  At least for a little while.  I can't believe I'm talking about a hobbyist/provider relationship here but hey I guess there are worse things.  A few words of wisdom come to mind.  

If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours.  

You never know how much you love something till it's gone.

That's ok she'll be back.  Another qualude, and she'll love me in the morning.

Women are like condoms.  They are either always on your dick or in your wallet.

Disregard the last one. I was on a roll.  So that's my two peice and a biscuit.  Let it go man.

As a provider, I agree wholeheartedly with the advice here. Move on. If she is angry that you are seeing other women, then she is assuming you're her boyfriend. Well if you're her boyfriend, then she needs to stop taking your money for seeing her. She sounds a bit emotionally immature.

When you're ready for MILFs, give me a buzz.

Love

Sharon

Since you like hobbying so much, you should just move on and forget about her.  Certainly when she needs the $$$ she will contact you....and if she doesn't, then good for the both of you as you each have moved on.  Certainly there is nothing you can say or do for things to be back to normal, this woman feels scorned...and you know what they say about a woman scorned.

an ex-wife. Well, now it sounds like you may have an ex-provider, as well. Think about all the similarities. The feelings have gone away, and there really isn't much that you can do to bring them back.

It's possible you may have no choice but to move on, if she's not able to get over her jealousy.

But if you do want a chance to regain what you had, you could try sitting down with her for coffee and telling her that you consider her a good friend and enjoy your time with her.  However, you're also a man who likes variety in his company, so she needs to understand that comes with the relationship.  

Then let her know, that if she's not able to accept that and be her old self, you see no choice but to move on.  

She may need a little time after that to absorb what you're saying and adjust.  I wouldn't have the conversation and expect a date right afterwards.  Just talk to her then give it a few days to a week to see each other again, if she agrees with your perspective and tries to change.

Also, you may want to try posting this on the Erotic Highway.  Tall6969 did regarding his ATF and I was very impressed by the Love Goddess's response, so you might like what she has to say.

Good luck.

Sounds like she's taken the concept of Girl Friend Experience too far. There are some aspects of having a girl friend that suck -- like having her want more of your time than you want to offer her, and nagging you about why you want to see other girls, etc. That part of GFE shouldn't be included in the rental agreement for a rental girlfriend.

Time to move on IMHO.

Unfortunately that may be the case. I am supposed to see her this Saturday for dinner and an overnight. We have dinner reservations for this Friday. It is supposed to be another dinner and overnight. How she acts this weekend will determine if I continue to see her or not.

quite honestly I don't care if she reads this. Maybe this was I can get my point across. So maybe something good can come of it if she does.

If you really want to try and salvage things, you will need to sit her down and talk to her and find out what's really going on.  I think it's probably a combination of someone getting a higher score AND that you are seeing different women.  Maybe because you saw her so much, she assumed (know what happens when you assume) that she was your only provider.  Keep her age in mind as well.  

You must really care about her to continue seeing someone who "has become cold and businesslike, just laying there like a manequin, having yes/no conversations and no longer returns my kisses. Just gives me pecks here or there".  Hate to be rude, but she sounds like a pissed off wife! "I am mad at you, so I will punish you by withholding emotions".  It's not fair to you to be paying for a service you are not receiving, and a hard life lesson she will need to learn when you move on because of that.  It's obvious from you post that it wasn't just a "business" arrangement, and if she is not mature enough to talk and clear the air than you need to move on.  As much as it will hurt (and I am sure it will), it's not like there isn't enough choices to fill the gap.

Good luck,

Kari

When you have thirty plus reviews since July 2008, you should be able to figure this out yourself (plus you have the experience of a divorce). What do you want from this relationship?

I suggest you continue spreading your wealth around, you may find two more tens out there.If this doesn't work, get professional (counseling) help before she lures you into another marriage.

Are you her only client? Probably not, so I cannot really understand her jealousy.

It sounds to me like you need not spend another dime on her until she gets her boundaries established.

If she is acting this way and reasoning doesn't work, you have no choice but to drop her. I'm wondering if she thought she had a sugardaddy arrangement with you...

I don't have 30 plus reviews since 2008, have no wealth to spread around and am not divorced (yet).

I assume you intended to hang this from the original post. LOL

I'd move on. It's her lost and another "mature" providers gain!!

There are plenty of choices. I mentioned a few of them in my opening post. The problem is that I have developed a bond with this girl that I dont want to break. If I have to do so I will make a reasonable effort to save it first.

Yes, I do care about her very much but I just love women too much. I love everything about them and as mentioned above the more the merrier. It does not bother me that she is screwing her manager, or seeing other "Johns." That is fine with me. Hey, the girl has to make a living.  

In a way I have to share some of the blame here because I took it to a personal level too. I took her to Coata Rica after she graduated from American Univ. Hell, when we were coming back from that trip, her BF at the time was there waiting to pick her up from what he thought was a business trip. Following her instructions I just picked up my luggage from the conveyer belt and went home like some random guy who just happened to be on the same flight. Without even a last hug from a woman that I spent the previous 5 days screwing like pornstars. Not to mention spennding well into 5 digits on in those 5 days.

One thing I never did was get jealous because she was screwing other guys. All I asked was that she be there for me when I needed to see her. And she did without question.

I will try to talk to her tonight but I just dont react well when all I get out of her are yes/no answers and an ocasional OK. If this keeps up I will be forces to just sever ties as much as I dont want to.

I will post what happens tonight. Thank you all for sharing this dilemma with me. I feel better now that I have been able to vent a little. As many of you know that this is something that i can not talk about to my business partners or close friends whho do not know that I am a hobbyist.

You are 100% correct.

that the rest of us deal with daily. We all wish we had these issues to whine about. Anyone who can afford this much tail has no problems.  I'm reading these reviews because I want to live vicariously through you because I have no spare cash for escorts. That is a REAL problem.

PM me and I may be able to offer some insight.

The first time I experienced this was with a stripper in Dallas, that I thought we had both fallen in Love.

Just before our love trip to Cozumel, because I need her real name for the plane tickets, she told me she was married (thinking about divorce) and had two kids.

 It was all about the money, lesson learned. Then when she saw that I was giving money to her equally hot stripper friend, she got jealous, and behaved like your ATF.

10 years later I spent several months visiting an Escort "Oxana" in a hotel full of escorts in a foriegn country. She was happy that I kept returning to her night after night. We developed a relationship, similar to what you described in your original post.

One night, two months later, she was booked for the weekend by a rich arab. I did not know this until I showed up for my regular appt. So I had the room already and saw another lady.

A couple days later, I returned for an appt with Oxana. She showed up, and gone was the emotional caring bond, the DFK's, and the warmth that I was craving and hooked on.

After a session of passionless sex, I asked her what was wrong. I thought the Arab had done something. Then she got mad and told me how I had broken her heart by seeing the escort. That all the ladies knew that I was hers and how could I see someone else.

The drama continued for the rest of our time together that nite. I tried to explain how I was a horny male and was disappointed that she was not available over the weekend. She explained that it was her job and had to take the assignment. She related the story of her first boyfriend and lover that had slept with her best friend. And how that had hurt her too.

It is time you moved on, as you will not recover from your error. I tried for a week of seeing her to change her mind, but was unable to. I still miss her, but moved on and experienced alot more booty since that nite in 2004.

Time will heal your wounds but her perception of you.

It sounds like she's trying to close herself off.  You could try to gently inquire into how she feels with open-ended questions.  If and when she opens up, you might get a slew of comments, questions etc., some of which are likely to be irrational and surprising.  An upset woman (or man, for that matter) is prone to say some things they may regret later.  

You seem like the kind of guy who has a pretty intact ego, so if you can put that initial outburst in perspective, it may be exactly the kind of venting and release she needs to let go of whatever it is she imagined between you two--whether as the perfect 10/10 ATF, sugarbaby, future gf, etc.  Hopefully you can have a real conversation after that where you can both come to a common understanding.

It probably won't be easy, but it sounds like you really want to give it a try and I think you'll be able to muster the patience for it.  

I know one of the appeals of this situation is it's suppose to be drama-free.  But I have yet to see money guarantee that emotions won't come into play.  It happens on both sides too, for sure, and I also prefer to try and work things out first.  Patience and good communication has really worked for me in the past.

Good luck.

This is a problem. Do you think that because I have a good income I have no problems? Why do people think that if one has money all the problems will dissapear. Nothing could be furthere from the truth. I have people leaching money from me round the clock. From my employees who I catch looking at porn, instant messaging, texting when they are supposed to be working, to my ex wife who I pay alimony to every month, to my son who's tuition at Loyola of Maryland is higher than most Govt Employees salaries.

I actually work for them. You should be greatful that you prabably get to keep your income or most of it. I have to share mine with every con artist, opportunist and lazy-ass in the DC area. My only treat to myself is hobbying. For that 1 hour or for that one night I actually feel good. dont get the wrong impression because this too is very very expensive.

Just so you know. I would pay her double just to go back to the way that things were a couple months ago. Oh well, it is all over now.

We had dinner today at The Monterey Bay Fish Grotto in Tysons. As usual she ordered expensive wine (like she knows her wine) The Caymus Special Selection Cabarnet. As well as ran up the bill.

She continued to be elusive, cold and distant. When I picked her up at her apartment she gave me a peck on the cheek but never once looked me in the eye. No hug and ZERO affection in her actions or tone of voice.

I just told her that her attitude changed for the worse and I was not going to put up with it anymore. Her reply was "I am sorry you feel that way."  To make a long story short. She never opened up and I felt like I was beating a dead horse. Normally I bring her to my house in Georgetown and we screw like stray cats but this time I just took her home and said goodbye to her once and for all. I honestly think I will take a break from hobbying for a little while until I get this depression under control.

Thank you all for your advice and support. I will get over it soon and you ladies (who I have not seen) will know who I am very soon.

I think he is into her as much as she into him because if I was in a NSA LTR and I see strings, I would cut the strings ASAP.  No questions asked

wasn't holding up her end of the arragement and you are better off without her. I'm a provider and wouldn't dream of expecting compensation for being cold and distant. The same way she has the right to see other hobbyists (and does), you also have the right to see other providers. I wish I had a steady like you! I'm sure there are many providers out there who will appreciate you and your genorosity. Good luck and have fun!

It was good and kind of you to try to work things out with her. It really is her loss, but look how young she is. I have learned, much to my chagrin often, that all those grownups were right when they used to say that experience is the best teacher.

Youth is wasted on the young!

Take your time to get over it, and then come back when you're ready.

Love

Sharon

Her loss! Sounds like a young woman who just doesnt get it, or like a woman with her head stuck up in the clouds.

In this hobby I have built some great "relationships" where both parties involved are happy, not ones pissed and the others left wondering what the F!

You seem like a great guy, and a guy that screws like stray cats...LOVE IT!!!! You are a smart man to see what she was doing to you and even smarter for moving on!

 Kisses, Sidney Starr

I'm sorry things didn't work out.  

Take care.