Elina,
I've been all over the world and most of the USA, all of which have been within the hobby. And have had the time of my life! An opportunity to go to the Netherlands and Paris is what made me get my first passport. I would strongly urge you not do an extended trip (meaning over 48 hours ) with someone you haven't seen before. It can be a very awkward and uncomfortable situation with someone you don't know anything about. That "clicking" becomes more critical as the days pass. And you need to make sure you really trust the person you're going with, especially if you're leaving the country. Always make sure all expectations are laid out on the table ...yours and his. Miscommunication can really put a damper on things. With that, keep things simple. When either party start laying out a lot of do's and donts, the fun gets lost and becomes too clinical for my taste. Feel free to drop me a line if you need,Alisha xoxo
I have been asked to travel and want to know from both men and women what they look for in traveling companions. and pet peeves they dont like while on travel.. what they enjoy.. and any insight..
I do travel with hobbyists but I usually have met them in the past and have some kind of relationship
ready set go.. thank you in advance..
I would make sure you have a very clear understanding about everyone's expectations. Who's paying for what? How much time you will spend together? Separate rooms or same room? Will there be social outings with business people? Photos? Who's covering the traveling expenses? blah, blah, blah.
I remember someone posting about traveling with a provider awhile back and nothing was very clear. Things didn't go well and if I remember correctly, there were lots of hurt feelings. If you haven't met this person, that could be dicey.
I wouldn't dream of traveling with a provider I hadn't met with at least several times. Just my .02
Be safe and good luck.
Elina,
I've been all over the world and most of the USA, all of which have been within the hobby. And have had the time of my life! An opportunity to go to the Netherlands and Paris is what made me get my first passport.
I would strongly urge you not do an extended trip (meaning over 48 hours ) with someone you haven't seen before. It can be a very awkward and uncomfortable situation with someone you don't know anything about. That "clicking" becomes more critical as the days pass.
And you need to make sure you really trust the person you're going with, especially if you're leaving the country.
Always make sure all expectations are laid out on the table ...yours and his. Miscommunication can really put a damper on things.
With that, keep things simple. When either party start laying out a lot of do's and donts, the fun gets lost and becomes too clinical for my taste.
Feel free to drop me a line if you need,
Alisha xoxo
-If you don't know the person, I strongly suggest keeping the date to less than 72H OR having a dinner date of sorts to determine if both parties are compatible.
-Make sure boundaries/expectations are clear regarding accommodations (same suite/separate rooms, separate rooms entirely, or same suite/same bedroom), travel arrangements (sometimes it can be much more safe for us as providers to travel separately), activities, amount of personal time/sleep time per day, etc.
-Patronage matters are important to get out of the way. I book all my own travel so I do require a 50% deposit so that I can safely book my own travel (the other 50% is due 72 business hours before departure). I have even gone so far as booking a refundable hotel room should something go wrong - especially if traveling out of country. Make sure you're asking questions about expenses and what is being covered if it's not all being covered. For example, I accompanied someone on a business trip to London. They provided a per diem each day so I could easily wander and explore without having to worry about miscellaneous expenses.
-Discuss social media usage. How much are they comfortable with you divulging is a great thing to touch base on.
I've got some more information on my website about this if you want to refer to it. Otherwise, PM here, email me, or DM on Twitter.
LJ, xx
I have gone with providers to half a dozen cities in the U.S. and Europe. It has been great.
My advice:
- Don't go with someone you haven't seen at least a few times on shorter dates, or better yet an overnight or two.
- Make sure that you have some common interests. You won't be spending all of the time in the room.
- Related to the above, it is better if you plan together at least a bit for restaurants, plays, etc.
- It is best if you are on a real name basis, because you will probably discover each others' real names on the trip.
- Have clear understandings about who pays for what (generally the hobbyist) and the donation.
-- Modified on 1/11/2018 9:56:56 PM
Some good info here a couple added thoughts..
I'd agree you need to know them before you agree to travel, need to have a comfort factor..
If you are flying, the airline ticket needs to be in your name and your control (you don't want to get stranded)
Unless you know them really well suggest you receive incremental funding i.e collect funds beginning of each day you are together. That way if he flakes you have been paid for your time thus far..
I agree with you on the need for caution, especially for the provider. However, your precautions suggest that the provider wouldn't yet be at a level of trust that would seem to be sufficient for traveling together. If this is the case, a few more dates ahead of travel might help with trust-building. Trust-building works both ways, but the items below are addressed to providers.
-- The airline ticket has to be under your real name; otherwise you aren't getting on to the plane without matching ID (passport, driver's license, etc.). Regardless of who buys the ticket, once it is issued it is under your control. If you want to bail or get stranded, it would be good to have some space on a credit card to cover any change fees. However, you shouldn't go if you consider either of these to be a realistic possibility.
-- You also want your name on the hotel reservation and check-in information. This isn't a big deal, but if you decide to do separate things for a few hours and you forget your room key-card, you want to be able to get back in on the basis of your driver's license or a credible claim that you belong there since you know both names (another reason for real-name basis). When I meet SBs more locally, once thing that invariably thrills them is being addressed as Mrs. xxx, because hotel staff usually remember that we are together (sometimes even if they have her real name and have pretty much figured out the relationship). If you are 5,000 miles away from home, you may want to forego this, but my recommendation is always to put her (your) name on the reservation and let them call your Mrs. xxx if it feels nice.
-- The best thing about traveling together is that you are both somewhere where nobody knows you. . You want this experience to be something that you can both feel is BF/GF and completely relaxing. Again, trust. However, if you go to NYC, you may well end up running into someone that one or the other of you knows, just because of the density. Have a story ready
-- On incremental funding, I usually provide it up front. If in the U.S., we go to an ATM so that she can deposit it asap just to avoid the risk of having a lot of cash around. If abroad, we keep it in the hotel safe (with her selecting or knowing the combination) until we are ready to leave. Usually, we both have stuff to go in the safe other than the donation, so I typically set it for her birthday (yes, I only do this with women I feel comfortable with too). If he wants to do incremental funding because he doesn't trust you not to bail, he shouldn't go. If you want to go ahead anyway, the provider should set the room safe code on her own.
-- Modified on 1/12/2018 10:42:25 PM
-- Modified on 1/13/2018 12:20:58 AM