dont take this personal,do any one posting in here consider themselves gay?i am not attracted to men at all.
uncle

NO

All I know is that when Venus is sticking it to me and I look up and see that gorgeus face looking down at me there is nothing more erotic in this world.

Hi, great topic.  Here's my experience from a lifetime of study and confusion as a boy, a girl, a hobbyist and a provider.  

First of all it's hard to catagorize why someone is attracted to gender variant people so don't sweat it.  If you don't "feel" gay, and aren't attracted to men as you would be a woman, then you aren't gay. Same thing, if you don't have a sexual attraction to both sexes, you aren't "bi."

Everyone fits into a different slot on the scale and most of us slide up and down at different points in our lives.  And you know what?  That's OK.

A perfect example is being in a locker room - if a bunch of naked guys doesn't do anything for you then you aren't gay.  Reverse the role and think how you might feel in a girls locker room.

Probably 90% of  the gents I've dated identify as straight.  About 10% consider themselves "bi" (those I date with their wives or GF's) and if I've dated 5 guys in two years who counsidered themselves "gay" I'd be surprised.

Gay men want men, some like femme boys, but they want guys who identify as men - not "guys" who identify as female.  So if you aren't attracted to someone who acts like a man you aren't gay - even if you enjoy a girl with a dick.

Gender and sexual identification is a fluid state of mind.  I personally identify as a "straight, bisexual lesbian."  I like men as a woman (even if I'm being domme).  I like girls too and I'm in a relationship with another female TS.  That's why I call myself a "boygirl" I'm a boy, and I'm a girl, I'm both and neither all at the same time.

So I guess my point in all this is - who cares?

But it's often not easy to just be yourself and accept yourself and let the rest of the world accept or reject you as you are.  Society pressures us to confrom to stated norms, and those of us who dare to push the boundries are attacked by the ignorant and fearfull.

I was afraid to come out as a TS for much of my life due to social acceptance pressures, but when I did it was like this huge weight left me.  I was no longer spending my energy trying to hide who I was inside.

I guess if I can say one thing here, it's accept yourself. Don't worry about trying to catagorize your sexuality, and just enjoy your life the way "you" want to.  Not the way society dictates that you must.

Luv,
TS Jamie - who's not a psychologist but loves people!

That sums it up.

Great attitude reflected in ALL your posts!!!
[This one and others you have done]

When asked if I was gay, I would respond with 'Not yet' which threw folks for a loop.  I only knew what I'd done up till then, who knows what might be done tommorrow!!

I guess it boils down to the individual and that individual's belief system. Is homosexuality a genetic, predetermined gender condition? Is the Transgender population suffering from some sort of confusion over a phisiological condition or a psychological condition? WTFK! Where do the Bi- and A-sexual folk fit in?

Myself, I decided that there are relationships and there is sex. Venus (picking up on a previous post), told me during an "encounter" that sex was "all about getting off". I guess agree! I find freedom in not confusing my relationship with sex. As far as relationships go, I prefer the traditional "opposite sex" relationship. As far as sex goes, I guess I am still experimenting! The happiest people in the world are those like Jamie & Jessica who are working both 'sex' and 'relationship' out together.

I am not offended by any terms used to denegrate me with regard to sex. I may be offended by comments with regard to my relationships.

I apologize for the ramble!

it is very strange, i cant even have a threesome with another guy! it is a total turn off, but when it comes to a ts girl i a a total bottom!!, i love taking it in the ass and sucking cock!!nothing gets me off more than getting fucked and then having a load blown all over my mouth and face, but i am not gay!

Hey capndude (and others) really good posts.  You mentioned a number of things I neglected.

I believe experimentation / exploration of the human condition is a good thing.  That's one reason I do what I do. I truly enjoy being an avenue for people to explore their fantasies.

But I don't completely agree that sex is "all about" getting off. I think while the outcome of sex (and certainly a providers "goal") is orgasm, it's not an absolute requirement for a satisfying time.

Although some men do prefer a transactional format, enter do your thing and leave, what I call the "TJ whorehouse experience," I think most gents are looking for a more personal experience.  And being "nice" is as important as having "sex."

But absoultely there is a separation of "sex" and relationships.  Jessica and I have a lot of recreational "sex" (and LOVE it...giggle) but our relationship itself has little to do with sex.  Don't get me wrong, we are very physical as anyone who knows us will tell and contrary to public opinion... I'm her "bottom."  But above it all we are best friends, and we were friends before we became lovers.

You made some good comments on the debate over the role genetics may play in homosexuality or being transgender.  What happens should a "gay/trans" gene be found? Could gays and trans people be scientifically eliminated by a predominately straight/religious society?  Would that be good or not?

While many transsexuals and homosexuals would rather not be the way they are, many others are happy and fulfilled. I'm very comfortable living as a transsexual.  I enjoy being part of a third gender, being both boy and girl and neither.  I don't enjoy the occasional need to deal with bigots.  

And the ONLY times I have EVER had anyone act negative toward me as a transsexual have been in encounters with the health care system and the government/police. The primary problem with the propogations of hate toward transsexuals and those who admire us is the government.

And I know this isn't a political forum, but if the people in government and police weren't so concerned with what goes on in our bedrooms, and with controling who we choose to sleep with, or marry, and if they truly believed that all men (and women, AND transsexuals) were created equal, we wouldn't even be having this discussion.

So sad, Luv you all,
TS Jamie

-- Modified on 3/27/2007 6:01:25 PM

I totally agree with the "who cares?" answer.  I am turned on by TGirls and I've been in a few bi MFM.  I do like it in the ass and I like sucking cock.  Yet the thought of kissing another man with a stubbly beard makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little and I could never be with just a guy.  Not to brag, but I also get more pussy than any man has a right to.  And I absolutely love pussy.  
Am I gay?  Bi?  Just plain Fucked up?  Who cares???  I enjoy being who I am and what I am and I refuse to waste time trying to label it.  
When I'm asked if I'm gay or bi, my answer is: "sometimes"

That's a great way to answer such a question.  I totally agree lables suck.  But for some reason most of us have a need to catagorize everything and everyone.

I think if we could get away from that the world would be a happier place.

And it's funny, stubble doesn't bother me in the slightest unless it's rubbing something sensitive like a boobie.  I think maybe you hit on the fundemental difference between a TS and a man.

Best,
TS Jamie

if you like dick, and you are a male, you are homosexual because you like sex with a dick other than your own dick. At least in the sex dept. Most guys who like dick, like thier own dicks and JO often. Many guys who like dick also like girls  but mainly for thier appearance. If you are attracted to men for thier looks, then you are possible gay because you most likely want to have sex with them as well. Sex with people who have the same equipment is homosexual, hence the meaning of the word. it really isnt that hard to understand..

..

-- Modified on 4/16/2007 1:29:58 PM