We’ve got a couple of recent threads with some good questions:

this board has gone down hill - Posted by drmintz, 4/4/2008
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=31940&boardID=19&page=1

providers who are posting with no reviews - Posted by drmintz, 4/3/2008
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=31880&boardID=19&page=1


The primary issue up for discussion is provider participation on this or any other hobbyist discussion board for that matter.  It would appear that some boards (non-TER) welcome the ladies and some do not.  Even on TER other boards are antagonistic towards TS and their admirers and/or men providers and you don’t find me participating there even under an alias.  Personally I am not interested in participating on any board that is exclusionary in any way except for rude, inconsiderate, demeaning or derogatory commentary, disclosure of personal information, stalking, harassment and other such uncivilized behaviors.  TER has some understandable policies about the conduct of its membership, provider ads and references to competing boards which are acceptable restrictions – after all they pay for the website (it’s a free country still/mostly, if you don’t agree with TER’s policies you can go start your own board).  

Now as to the provider issues.  Yes it is awkward to have someone represent themselves as a provider and participate on the board when they do not have a profile with reviews.  TER has a policy about that - ladies who have asked to have their reviews pulled are not allowed to participate.  Ladies who would apparently welcome a review but don’t yet have a profile are welcome in my book on a sort of probation until they get some reviews.  As everyone knows TS reviews can be hard to come by, there are several deterrents to writing TS reviews, so we just don’t get the same benefit from this as they do over on the GG side.  Over on the GG side there is often a competition of sorts to be the first reviewer to get their review posted of someone new to the board, or post the latest review on someone, the most reviews, etc., you get my drift.  I just don’t sense that we have that yet for TS and may never – different stokes so to speak.

We actually have several ladies posting who have represented themselves as providers but have remained anonymous or under an alias of some sort.  I have not yet been able to identify them and even if I did so would not link their username to their profile without their consent.  Others have used obvious usernames and I’ve had their username linked to their profiles right away.  Others have been linked as soon as a profile/review appeared (if I have missed anyone, please let me know).  Unfortunately it is entirely possible that one or more of these ladies has had their reviews removed in the past and it would be inappropriate for me to allow them to post.  

A case in point is Danielle Foxxx – it is my understanding that she had her reviews pulled many years ago and was not allowed to participate for the longest time.  I allowed her recent posts to go through because those issues were a long time ago, times change (live and let live), and she had become a pretty well known commodity in this business even without TER reviews.  I thought the content of her messages on this board worthy of posting.  She could have always posed as someone else and it would have been impossible for me to figure that out since she had undoubtedly changed IP addresses since those early days.  I also thought her posts had more credibility precisely because they supposedly came from her.  So far I have not received any objection to allowing her posts but I do realize that I was out on a limb on that one.
 
I have known of GG providers on other boards (again non-TER) with “no review” policies, primarily for privacy reasons, who were still allowed to participate, even with ads.  Usually they kept a low profile but some were regulars in various forums.  It is a more difficult call to allow participation of someone with a no review policy but fortunately I have yet to face that issue as far as I know.  I can understand why TER might wish to enforce its “no reviews – no participation” policy even under the circumstances of privacy and discretion.  My position has been that ladies participating without reviews do so at the indulgence of TER and its members.  By definition these ladies’ participation can be withdrawn at any time (in fact, as any of ours can, at anytime, for inappropriate conduct), but their participation is automatically and continually under a very particular scrutiny.  Even the slightest hint of an impropriety over reviews, ads, posts, etc., will find them banned.  TER is watching very closely and as our board gets more active, even more so.

Now to the final question.  Should this be a hobbyist only forum?  This is the age old question for “clubs” of all kinds – should they be allowed to exclude someone because of their gender, race, religion, etc.?  I say yes, it should be up to the club’s members to decide who they wish to associate with, but I for one would be very uncomfortable with participation in any such “club” virtual or otherwise and personally don’t think much of  clubs that are blatantly exclusionary in their practices.  My own opinion on this matter was stated in one of the earlier threads – I believe this to be a better forum if all are allowed to participate.  As gentlemen, we have a lot to learn from the ladies – don’t ever think otherwise.  Some of them are not half bad company either.

A final related point.  Are some of the ladies dominating this forum to the detriment of our little discussion board?  Probably no more so than me, LATSDog, JohnHolmes1, etc., but their participation is certainly a little more noticeable.  Obviously there will be differences of opinion on this point.  Since I think we need more participation from the ladies not less I will probably continue to err on the side of trying to encourage their participation.  TER does have a “providers only” board so I don’t think we will ever be in danger of becoming a discussion forum for ladies only.  It seems obvious to me, but just think about it, and not to give us too much credit, but they wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for us guys.  Remember if TSS or I think someone is posting solely for the purpose of advertising we have TER’s policy in place which makes it our responsibility to disapprove/disallow such posts.  If you think anyone has been or is being out of line let me know.

Sorry for the long-winded diatribe (as usual) but I thought I’d try to pull these threads together and get focused on the issue and have all the new comments under one roof.  So now its up to you - fire away!

Regards,


TS Tempted

My view is the ladies are most welcomed here.  Their input and point of view is valuable, insightful, entertaining and good for my research.

As long as they are not overtly marketing/advertizing themselves but rather participating in a forum they are welcome.

I love to see their personality and perspective on this board and feel the board would suffer greatly without their input, both here and in the bedroom!

Leave the forum open I don't mind the ladies paticipating in the discussions. Their insight is very useful. I've been around for a short bit and enjoy reading from the veterans, ladies as well as the new users. I just get tired of the users who can't do a simple search before asking a question.

I have not posted actively for a while, but not do to lack of interest, just been more in the reading mode.  But do believe I have a lot of the same interests as most here - so will give my thoughts:

I love diversity, culture and difference, so value the dialog and contributions from our gals.  I believe this leads to better understanding for all, as well as growth and learning for our community.  I think it is fair to say, the TS community ( consisting of all parties - both gals and guys ) is more subordinated than any other community and venues like this allow us to be stronger and not only survive, but thrive.

The only caveat I would add, and this is more a personal preference than anything else, is that I prefer the threads that are not dialogs between only 2 people.  Another way of saying it - if you are having a personal conversation, just communicate directly.

Thanks for the topic !

"As long as they are not overtly marketing/advertizing themselves but rather participating in a forum they are welcome."

I agree.. But what would constitute "over promoting"???

Example: We see a provider here tell a visitor thank you for the good time and review.. Links the "thanks" to her site..

Nothing wrong with that, Right???

That is on this board.. I got booted off another TER forum for doing just that.. Called it 'self-promoting'..

OH YES.. I have seen it about on the newbie board a suggestion to providers on how to post in the discussions... "don't post often"  

Usually now when I reply to a discussion thread I don't post my site link as it is not revelant to the topic thread..
I think it should be 'ruled' that way and providers should only link back to our sites when posting "ads". I would say 'over promoting'

But a thanks and telling what a hot time we had together isn't... Your link is revelant to the thread..  

-- Modified on 4/5/2008 5:20:27 AM

First of all thanks for your support on the ladies participation.  

Second, as I read TER policy it’s perfectly okay for the ladies to include a link to their ad or website anytime they post.  If they so wish, their username is linked to their profile so the ad/website would only be two clicks away anyway.  I would extend this interpretation to conclude that it is also acceptable to post a link to a photo should they choose to do so.  Here is the relevant quote straight from the horses mouth:

“By participating in the discussions on TER discussion boards, you can greatly increase your visibility and give potential clients the opportunity to get to know you better. You may include your link in messages you contribute to any TER discussion board, and that does not count toward your ad limit. In fact, you are encouraged to include your link, because it helps everyone get to know you better. Just please make those linked messages meaningful, entertaining or helpful contributions.”
Ad Posting Guidelines - Posting Ads on TER Discussion Boards - Posted by Newbie Mod, 5/24/2006
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=16803&boardID=33&page=


It also says:  “Posts regarding contact info, availability, announcing a new website or new pics all count as ads.”  I’m afraid I’ve been a little lenient on that one (maybe there is a pink slip in my future?).  I’ve also interpreted this as “per thread” and not per post.  If a provider posts an ad as a new thread and then comes back with a reply under that thread with updates to availability, etc., even within the seven day period, that is okay with me (ladies please take note).  

Third, and the bottom line of those lengthy guidelines about posting ads, is that it is up to the moderators to use their discretion:  “TER Moderators may, at their discretion and judgment, delete any ads that, in their opinion, do not follow these guidelines.”   So the issue for me and TSS as your moderators is to determine what we think is “excessive or blatant self promotion” and be sure to keep that off the board along with anything else that does not explicitly comply with TER policy.  

In his post, foodcritic said:  “As long as they are not overtly marketing/advertizing themselves but rather participating in a forum they are welcome.”  I had to reread that very carefully because he used the word “overtly” which means “openly” (as opposed to “covertly” as in hidden or secret).  Putting a link to your website or ad is pretty “overt” so what I think he meant was excessive or blatant.  Unfortunately this is interpretive and everyone will have their own standards for this.  If I think someone is posting nonsense, or is off-topic, etc., just to get their username and ad/website link in front of us then I will count that as an ad.  We’ve had a few close calls and I posted a reminder to the ladies to that effect most recently on 25-Feb:

Attention Ladies - TER Policies for Posts and Ads - Posted by TS Tempted  , 2/25/2008
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=30647&boardID=19&page=12


I don’t know about you but I thought it worked.  Again I didn’t want to discourage the ladies participation, just reign in their enthusiasm a bit maybe.  As always you guys and gals should let me or TSS know if you think anything is out of line.  Just click on either of our names at the top of the forum and that will link you to the compose message screen.  Please do send us your thoughts in a PM – many times that’s much better than an open message in the forum.  As lotus66 pointed out a dialogue just between two people is better kept to PM’s rather than taking up space on the board.  That is unless you are an exhibitionist and are getting off on overtly flirting with one of the ladies in the public forum.  In that case go right ahead because the voyeur in me just wants to watch.

Take care,


TS Tempted


-- Modified on 4/5/2008 7:32:17 PM

Unfortunately, TER has a reputation of distrust. Members post reviews and then they get pulled if the provider does not like it. I tried to post a review and I was told that the web site can't include a link. It didn't, so my review never got posted. I copied and pasted the provider's web site from the reviews that were already there. I was not a very flattering review, but it was honest. There are too many inconsistencies. I think Nikki also has some good points. TER should take note and make changes, but I don't think that will happen. That is why I don't bother to write reviews or post here more often.

When a provider "tells a visitor thank you for the good time and review.. Links the "thanks" to her site..

Nothing wrong with that, Right???"

Yes IMO, there IS some thing wrong with that. #1 it is boring. #2 it reveals desperation on the provider to bring attention to HER SELF.  #3 it is tacky and is manipulating a discussion forum for her own financial benefit. #4 providers are to be seen and heard when what they have to say is related to a topic that either a hobbyist started or if a providers started the topic and it is not related to promoting of herself.
JH1

but I do in fact think that communications such as those you site are best made in private.  They really do not advance the knowledge or entertainment of the board.

Do I find the occasional thank you a problem, nope.  If a lady did it after every review would it be a problem...maybe, if she is reviewed often.

She should just send a thank you note in private to the gent.

At the same time I think a lady should ALWAYS put a link to her site or reviews when she posts here.  As long as her posts are on topic or, as I already said, advance the knowledge or entertainment value of the board, she should post.