This is a question I have asked myself many times...generally a very open, liberal, and honest person...I kind of consider myself a bit of a hypopcrite in regards to not being open with friends about my attraction to the third sex. Considering the efforts and difficulties that TS girls must go through to live their lives, I could only be considered a coward.
The weird thing is I am extremely supportive of gay friends and vocal in defense of that lifestyle when people make unnessesary comments. I have gay friends and even go to gay bars etc. But even with them I am not open about my interests.
Honestly if friends and family found out that I was gay, or bi I doubt they could be surprised (other than the fact that I date attractive GG's).
I do suspect that some friends may have some idea about my interests from stumbling on my website history on my computer, maybe looking too long at hot TS girls at nightclubs, or not registering the "appropriate negative response" when someone comments on T-girls.
In some cases they ask fairly pointed questions about the topic of TS girls, seems like they may be trying to broach the subject with me. One friend mentioned that a friend of his noted all the TS girls in Rio and asked if I saw any when I was on vacation there? Others making jokes like, "There is nothing wrong with letting a t-girl suck you off, doesn't make you gay" While looking directly at me.
My guess is far more guys are interested in it then would ever admit to themselves or others.
I would probably be truthful with them if asked directly, but I doubt I will ever offer the information before that point. If i am ever asked though I would probably define myself as someone who likes GG and TS girls, and not respond to questions of being gay or bi or whatever.
Since I have been a part of this website and an active participant on the message board, I have encountered numerous topics from "Are you gay if you like TS's?" and "Significant Other Issues". I do not recall anyone mentioning if they disclose their interest in transsexuals to anybody other than associates online or transsexuals themselves. Personnaly, I do have a few online friends that I discuss my love for the trannsexual beauties, but I do not have an actual close friend who I have ever disclosed my desires to. Does anyone out there have that friend they can confide into and trust? Are they a GG or male? It seems the online and subculture world we live in regarding our love for a beautiful feminine transsexual will remain undisclosed.
Message to PiquedinSoCal, PM me regarding Sapphire. I have been seeing her since 1998. I can inform you on everything you need to know about her.
It really hurts to read some of the comments people have been saying on this board about transsexuals and transsexualism as being "deviant" and such. (Yeah, guess what? Tranny's do have feelings.)
I have found that most people, unless they REALLY have unresolved gender issues themsevles (self hate) or are hard core bible bangers (because they have the inside track to God and everyone else is wrong), if you treat the subject like it's not a big deal, they will pick up on that and take their cue from you. If YOU treat it like it's a dirty, horrible, secret, deviant, perverse thing, people will act that way about it. I'm not saying you have to walk around wearing a tee shirt saying "I love shemale cock" but don't act all guilty and ashamed of it either. Why can't you have a "yeah, so what?" attitude about it?
A little education goes a long ways, most people are scared of what they don't know. Once they get educated about it, it's NOT such a big deal. You guys gotta get some balls and stand up for what you believe in, what you want in life, and to be true to yourselves. Nothing will change in this world unless people MAKE it change. We girls are doing our parts, it's time for you guys to do yours.
Don't treat us like we are some shameful, horrible secret.
I don't mean to insult anyone, but I'm kind of hurting right now.
Hangman, I'm like you. I have one "internet friend" who I've met now several times that I share my "secret" with. While he's a great guy, I'm sure part of our friendship is the relief we feel in finally finding someone (other than the tgirls themselves) that shares our tastes.
As it relates to the outside world, I can't imagine being "out". I know that my first few times in public with tgirl were VERY exciting, I still keep said activities limited to places I'm visiting and don't know people. I find myself biting my tongue on trips to Rio when my buddies and I see a hot tranny (hehe last trip after we saw a total 98% passable hottie walking by, I quickly houdini'd, doubled back, and spent the nite with her).
Star, I'm one of the people who used the term deviant, but i hoped in a non-offensive way. I don't consider tgirls deviant by any means. I find the sexually frustrated churchgoer who gets an ulcer for repressing his fantasies far more deviant.
You're also right on about one's attitude influencing how people view you, but that is far from universal. Yes, maybe a few close friends might understand my affinity for tgirls, but most won't. My problem is that so much of my life...my job, my casual friends, my neighbors, etc...fall into the group I can't really influence. Maybe this boils down to what's more important: my conventional job and friends vs. my affinity for trannies. At this point, they co-exist with few problems. But if I had to choose, I'd probably end up being that guy in church with an ulcer.
None of this should suggest I don't respect trannies, its just a personal choice I have to make. I also very much respect GG escorts but prefer most of my friends not know abou that part of my life.
Although I have never told any friends about my interest in transsexuals,I somehow get the feeling that if I did they might have the same sort of interest. I have been to drag bars with some of my most testosterone filled buddies and they really dug it. Unfortunately I did not have the nerve to tell them of my more than passing interest. Something's are better left unsaid, I guess. I don't think it's deviant myself and have complete respect for anyone if they deserve it. I just think's it different. And thank god for thing's that are different. It's what makes the world a better place to live and breathe everyday.
Star might have said it all. It's just a life. Might as well hold hands with the girl you're sweet on.
This is a question I have asked myself many times...generally a very open, liberal, and honest person...I kind of consider myself a bit of a hypopcrite in regards to not being open with friends about my attraction to the third sex. Considering the efforts and difficulties that TS girls must go through to live their lives, I could only be considered a coward.
The weird thing is I am extremely supportive of gay friends and vocal in defense of that lifestyle when people make unnessesary comments. I have gay friends and even go to gay bars etc. But even with them I am not open about my interests.
Honestly if friends and family found out that I was gay, or bi I doubt they could be surprised (other than the fact that I date attractive GG's).
I do suspect that some friends may have some idea about my interests from stumbling on my website history on my computer, maybe looking too long at hot TS girls at nightclubs, or not registering the "appropriate negative response" when someone comments on T-girls.
In some cases they ask fairly pointed questions about the topic of TS girls, seems like they may be trying to broach the subject with me. One friend mentioned that a friend of his noted all the TS girls in Rio and asked if I saw any when I was on vacation there? Others making jokes like, "There is nothing wrong with letting a t-girl suck you off, doesn't make you gay" While looking directly at me.
My guess is far more guys are interested in it then would ever admit to themselves or others.
I would probably be truthful with them if asked directly, but I doubt I will ever offer the information before that point. If i am ever asked though I would probably define myself as someone who likes GG and TS girls, and not respond to questions of being gay or bi or whatever.
Just a note to Star. I hope that in my ramblings I haven't offended you in anyway. That was certainly never my intention and I hope that nothing I said hurt your feelings. I admire you for your courage to post on this board and appreciate the balance you bring.
I agree with you that education does go along way and I try, by example, to show people there is nothing that there is nothing to fear but fear itself.
Hangman to answer your question. In my experiences I have found there are a lot of fucked up people out there struggling to find their identity in a world that will crush their self-esteem to sell them a bar of soap.
I decided that the most useful thing that I can do is to talk to people honestly about my experiences. I don't go out of my way to tell people more than what I think they can handle. I have my share of superficial relationships with people who are asleep. If you meet me on the street you would think that I am a happy-go-lucky guy. I find that the people who want to know will ask when I drop the hints. I talk to people in real life like I write on this board. What I find that most people are interested in is obsessive compulsive behaviors, addiction, sex and sexuality. I don't go out of my way to expose my lifestyle but I try to be as honest as I can to people who ask.
-- Modified on 4/28/2004 6:08:25 AM
I also have not told anyone about my fledgling fixation with the transgendered world ... it's still so nascent to me, that I not only find myself neck deep in deep soul searching, but I have yet to physically see one in the flesh on a date in fact. I often wonder what would happen if anyone ever got a hold of my bookmarks, or took a peek into my video collection. How would they react ? What would they initially say to me ? Who would they tell ? Not even my best friend of over 30 years has any idea of this obsession.
I don't know where my enthrallment with this beautiful world will take me or to what depths, but if I disclosed it to anyone and the word got out, my suspicion are that it would not only send my world askew, but also the world of many in my circle who look up to me, such as nephews, neices, fellow workers, and the ever present overbearing God fearing Christians of that circle, who up to now have tolerated my secularist views. It isn't the latter that I am concerned about, as I am of the neices and nephews. If this paints me as a coward, so be it, but paint me as a coward who supports a person for whatever lifestyle they choose to follow. I'm sure there were many unsung whites hidden in the background of the Civil Rights movement who couldn't afford to have their identities disclosed, but nevertheless made it possible for civil rights to take fruition because of their support for them from behind the scenes. Right now, I might not be on the forefront fighting for transgender rights, or dating one openly, but I sure as hell believe one has the right to live as they want to live without anyone casting judgement on who they are. Just as this country isn't ready for a third political party, it sadly also isn't ready for men to openly admit they are in love with women with that extra something special.
My utopia would rather see a couple of TSs holding hands or making out in some public garden in Paris, rather then men fighting in an alley or killing one another in the mideast over oil control, but sadly that utopia isn't here as of yet. My feeling is that it will come, but I doubt I'll see it soon. For now, I have to keep my desires and passions under cover. I am not ready to disclose it, and neither is my world -- MY WORLD -- openly ready to accept it.
TS Star -- You're different not deviant ("deviant" should not be considered a deragotory termin this context or anywhere ). Who we love and how we see sex and love has changed as has everything else throughout the centuries. At one time pedophilia was the norm in ancient Greece, as was placing covers over anything (table legs, et all) during the Victorian era that might provoke carnal thoughts. Progress moves forward, albeit slowly, but it does move forward. Give it time to be accepted. I'm sure it was a shock in San Paolo at one time, and yet today, I bet it hardly causes any kind of uproar whatsoever down there. Look at yourself as a bellwether of sorts instead.
Hangman128 -- Do I need to be a paid member of TER to Private Message you ? Fwiw, I am not a paid member. How much is a membership and for how long ? I would love to hear what you have to say about that Sapphire dream.
LOL!! DAMMIT so what if someone thinks Im a deviant as well for liking TSs. The word game is some goofy form of psychological warfare anyways.Label someone!!! I choose not to participate. Until the day people get stoned for their "DEVIANT" behavior, I wont sweat one dime worrying. On a personal level,I dont advertise my business but I dont hide it either.IF you see me speaking to a TS, I`ll even introduce you to them.No sweat off my brow. I got plenty of TS neighbors around here so they arent strangers as it is.Some pop by and say hi. I have an uncle who lives bout 500 miles from me who has his own dating preference. He exclusively dates black women. Ive met a few of em. And I tell my uncle "hey man whatever makes you happy.Dont give a FLYING CRAP what other people think".Do your thing.Some people have issues and theres nothing you can do about it.
For the record if someone asks if you are gay,bi,or straight, tell them you are TRIsexual and smile.
Hey Sylynce,
It's so nice to hear someone around here with your attitude. Even with one person who has this outlook and shares it with others, it will make a difference. Even the smallest pebble will make ripples in the water.
When people are on their death bed, are they going to be happy that they lived a life they wanted, or are they going to feel that although they didn't do what they wanted in life, at least they did their duty and made their neighbors happy. Are you going to regret what you did? Or what you DIDN'T do in life?
No guts, no glory.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
To thy own self be true.
Some people are blessed to have figured this out early in life, others are doomed only to find this out after it's way too late.
Jeez, and people wonder why some tranies have bad self-esteem. All these people that would love to have sex with them, but are too ashamed of them to introduce them to their family and friends, or let alone be seen even TALKING to one.
Anyway, I'm not mad at anyone here. And some of you have said some very kind things. I know everyone does their best in this life, but I can't help being just a little bit... disappointed. 
Peace & love
This is my first visit to these forums and wanted to put my 2 cents in for what they are worth on this subject. i am kinda a people watcher and learned alot from my past and dealings with people on this subject since i was a child. as Ts Star has said we do have feelings and alot of times that is not noticed, we "trannies" as a group have had it alot easier in public thanks to the internet and tv shows but it is a two sided coin there, the exposure we do have is of all "SEX" for the most part so i can see were some guys would get the idea of "Deviant" but what alot of guys don't know is what goes on behind those scenes. the day to day life. when you encompass the group "Tranny" your speaking of every general gender name out there and there behavior. the "Tranny" group has as much diverse personality mixes as any other group of labels out there. cd's transvestite, shemale, transgender, transexual and so on. What i see all to often is a simple thing of a persons state of mind " hopefully i won't hurt guys feelings if there young" But if you look at the male group of society today or atleast from my personal experiences. Today the youth are alot more open minded as every generation has been before it. but at a young age in life guys are still set out to impress friends and others with there life, they want to show off still and what there friends think is of the most importance to them "social acceptance" as men age this seems to not bother them as much, especially when men start to approach the mid 30's. when you loose the state of mind of "what will others think of me" and start to know that friends are just friends and they stay friends no matter what happens. "even we had these issues at one time in all of our lives to but it comes to a point we realize our life is important to us and what they think is secondary" i guess with my ramblings i lost my point lol but to me it is a mental state of mind, i got proof of this when i visited boston and seen the first "TS" bar i had ever seen, everyone there is in there to see "TS" girls and it was just like any bar i had been to not the meat market type" when youu stop to realize that relationships are about someone you want to spend time with and your compatable with that person then nothing else matters to be honest. i have ton of friends "guys" that are all ex military, over testosteroned married men that have 0 issues with "TS" girls now because they got to know me personally and that is what i think it really takes is guys stopping to see that it is about a person, "gay, lesbian, trans, whatever" as another post or this one stated you have the "am i gay? am i bi? what am i? questions? well here is a simple thing to think about i tell people often that ask me that"
when you got up this morning and seen a guy jogging did he turn you on? did you want to go talk to him or get all flushed inside? if you answer no then i would assume your not gay or bi due to a guy did not turn you on.
you see a "ts" she looks great to you, very feminine and her personality meets her looks and she makes you want to talk to her ask her out or other things, or did you not know she was a "Ts" and did these things? if so i would assume your just as straight as your beer drinking football yelling buddies are lol.
it all comes down to your own acceptance of who you are and what your life is about, for me and my friends, it is about my life and my life being fun filled and happy.