Dear L.G.,
Since i was kid, pre-teen, i have had something for pantyhose. The sight of a woman in pantyhose just drives me sexually nuts. The main reason that pushes to seek providers is to fulfill this fetish. However, i am a married man. Married to a woman who i love, but who does not share or is even willing to share my fetish with me. She thinks that it is a bit awkward for her to wear pantyhose for me. Anyway, my question is: where is this fetish come from? How can i cure it and stop it? I am afraid that if i do not control it, it will ruin my 12 years marriage and family.

Oh my Seekingsilk,

How harmless and charming is your fetish! Compared to coprophiliacs, bestiality, pedophilia - my God, yours is clean, innocent and quite mild! And great for women who live in very cold climates and who just don't want to wear those [for others, anyway] sexy stay-up stockings or garterbelts! Not to mention women with a few extra lb's who bless the day that supershaping pantyhose came out to smooth out lumps and bulges!

Of course, if thoughts of women in pantyhose consume your entire day, if your earnings are impacted, if you pester your wife 24/7 to make her wear pantyhose [my thoughts go to Florida in August, NOT pantyhose weather] and if your entire life revolves around the next collection of Hanes or L'Eggs, then yes, you need to get another focus in life.

Fetishes come from various influences commingled with sexual impulses in the brain. It has been more or less determined that fetishizing is a combination of hypothalamic activity and testosterone surges - n.b. how true paraphilias and fetishism are absent in the female population.

If you want to "get rid" of your fetish, it's going to be very difficult. You can start going to a cognitive-behavioral therapist who will give you specific exercises to attenuate your thoughts. Then again, clinically, I think treatment like this may do more harm than good, and quite frankly, I'm not sure it would work, because we'd have to dampen your testosterone levels for this to really function well.

I'm also wondering if your wife's refusal [or does she accede to your wishes sometimes?] to wear pantyhose could make it all the more attractive for you as a fetish object? What if she wore them every day? Would it still be the same turn-on? I mean, if you lived in Minnesota and she worked as a flight attendant, she might have to, for no other reason than it would be too chilly for her otherwise.

But since you are "afraid that if [you] don't control it, it will ruin [your] marriage and family," I would suggest that you and your wife jointly visit a marital therapist to sort this out. Maybe there can be some type of accommodating schedule worked out, where your wife will agree to wear them with some frequency. After all, wearing pantyhose is not a painful nor shameful act, it's quite normal and seen as a necessity by many. In any case, I don't think you need to imperil your married life and family because of this. Please visit a compassionate professional who can help you out. Perhaps there is something much deeper hiding behind those nylons after all.

Spanx anyone?
the Love Goddess

I don't think you have a problem not unless you want your wife to wear them all day long.
If you really think its a big problem try some self control, if you cant control yourself go see a Doctor or soemthing.

Marriage is a given and take. I think your wife now and then should wear them for you. Not unless it is hurting her somehow.

What will ruin your marriage is your wife ever finding out you have been seeing providers.

since his wife won't play along with his fetish, he is now seeking out ladies in this business to fulfill that need...hence why the fetish would ruin the marriage.

If his need for the pantyhose is such that he would seek other women out for it, when he otherwise would not be seeing these ladies (and possibly feeling guilt over doing so) then to my mind it is a problem for him.  If doesn't want to do this...but feels compelled to...that is far more than a simple preference or fun sexual interest.

Dr Goddess' advice of therapy is, I would think, right on the mark.

Sounds like the wife is the one with the problem, not the poor guy! She can't do something so simple as to wear a pair of pantyhose for him? No wonder he seeks out providers! I'll wear them for him anytime he wants!

-- Modified on 1/31/2007 5:15:52 PM

Am i the only one who appreciate pantyhose on a woman? Surely, there must others out there...just come forward )

Does he have any sex at all with his wife?  If so, is it strictly routine sex?  Is there any "fun" in it?  If not.......then it's more than just the pantyhose this guy is looking for.

...but it's stockings and garters that do it for me.  Drives me absolutely wild.

I have found exactly one provider over several years of hobbying that is willing to wear them when we meet up. She gets my biz even though I have to drive to another state to see her. I would be interested to know if any providers, who don't wear thigh-highs or garters and stockings, enjoy wearing pantyhose? If I learn a provider doesn't like wearing the others, I don't even bother asking about the pantyhose. I have found that many girls in my area would rather go at clients with a strap-on or shower them with golden rain, than put on the pantyhose for a session. lol

If I could find a provider that was into my fetish and was GFE too, she would make a whole lot of money off of me!

I am glad that i am not the only one out there. It feels better to know that someone else has the same fetish. Thanks Salty

Stockings, Pantyhose thigh high knee high any thing but bare legs.

I also love stockings and pantyhose. SO you are not alone dude. I Have no preference between them. As one said, anything but bare legs, seriously ladies don't you know that we are touching-and-seeing creatures by now?