So, three months into this SA/SB/SD world and certain patterns are starting to emerge for me.  First off, it has been a blast! Definitely a different vibe than the escort route...which I have moved away from, but plan on seeing the occasional provider in the future.   I've noticed, however, that all of my SB endeavors follow the same pattern...meet publicly and then move to sex or agree to meet for sex the next time. No matter how long the "relationship" lasts, the arrangement has been the same.  Come to my house, an envelope and a small gift waiting, have a drink, a couple of hours in bed, then she leaves.  When I got into this, I thought one component of this would be "social" time...drinks, dinners out, etc.  It has not played out that way.  Not complaining, as I have not tried to include the social, but it has surprised me that none of the ladies I have "arranged" with have expressed an interest in being taken out.  Certainly, there have been times when the drink portion of our evening at my home has extended to the 2 hour mark...definitely a catch up, what's happening in your life kind of social interaction.  But it got me thinking...some of these ladies would be interesting to take out on a more traditional date....I just have limited time and prefer sex.  So, just wondering...do any of you guys have what I would call a "real" SB/SD arrangement where you go shopping, out for dinners, movies, etc. in addition to sex?  Mine seem like "escort lite"

I think if that is what you are looking for, it's probably something you'll need to negotiate from the get-go... bc once you get into a pattern with them it's hard to deviate or renegotiate terms. I don't understand why these girls would turn down free meals and/or drinks but that's my experience too. On my last date with my current SB, after sex and almost 2 hours spent in the hotel room, I was hungry so I said "Hey do you want to go grab some lunch?" "No thanks" she said. Not "Oh I'd love to but I have to get to work" or "Thanks but I'm not hungry". She pretty much was like "Nope"... but in a nice way. Felt a little hookerish to me but I didn't say anything.  

I also moved towards SBs bc I thought it would be more like dating and finding someone I liked spending time with (and vice versa) but with a slight P4P/FWB aspect. On the other hand, I'm only seeing my SB about once a month (I'm seeing her on Tuesday btw), so I'm not like other guys who are seeing their SBs 2-3 times a month or more, so I don't really push it. She did unexpectedly get a little more affectionate with me at the end of our last date so hopefully that will continue when I see her this week.

One previous SB went out to dinner with me a few times. One current SB and I have established a pattern where we always go out to dinner, eat and talk and socialize, before retiring bcd for some sexual fun. I took her for a nice long ride on my motorcycle one time this summer which was lots of fun. Another likes to shop at a grocery store, buy some food and have  a picnic! So we do that before going bcd. Yet your experience is truly quite typical. My latest Sb comes over to my house, fucks my brains out and then leaves. Hey, I ain't complaining.

Since I am married, going out in the hometown is not a good idea. With one girl it is only meet at the hotel or her place for bcd action. I have one SB I like to take out for dinner as she lives in a different town. Given time constraints we usually have fun first and then go out to dinner if we have time. In general,  I think that a 300 pay for meet only gets bcd time unless the girl really likes you and has spare time.  I have another SB who wants me to "spoil" her by taking her out to the mall for shopping but I have been able to put her off.  I have no desire to go shopping in the mall with a 21 year old. I hate shopping.  The only thing that might interest me would be a trip to victoria secrets.  Lol

I think that the type of arrangement plays a factor. The monthly allowance vs pay for meet and how much. I think that some of my SB's would do things like a movie etc if I asked but I never do. Not enough time. Probably the single guys would do more of the extra stuff. I have 2 girls who would go away for  a weekend with me in a second if I asked but no chance of that.

Yes, that is exactly my arrangement. We go out on dates, I have taken her shopping a few times (never expected and totally offered under no coercion whatsoever) and we have even been on one mini trip. All of our intimate encounters are over night stays and sometimes we text back and forth a few times a day and some other times we totally stay off radar for a couple of days. Sometimes, we may even meet up for lunch without any expectations of intimacy or payment for companionship.

Had I been 15 -20 years younger, I would've made some serious moves for a girl like this but I am under no delusion that we are BF/GF which we definitely are not and furthermore, I don't even think that I am the sole SD let alone fooling myself into thinking that I am the sole sexual partner!!! That said, I look a few years younger than my actual age (low 50's) I'm in great natural shape (I don't need to do hormone therapy, HGH and all that nasty stuff which mid 50 to 60 So. Cal guys do to reduce body fat to get outlines of a 6-pack belly, etc). I have great social skills and I hold my own very well in the presence of younger hot women. Do we get looks when out and about? Yes sure, but it is mostly looks of envy rather than "is she with her dad" type of looks. That said, some of these SB types do not wish to be seen in public with SDs. I am not really blowing my trumpet as I also know that the Unicorn would not wish to go anywhere near where her friends and peers hang ouit, accompanied by me!!!

Lastly, I do put in my profile that I am seeking someone who can go out on full dates a couple of times a month if the chemistry and the attraction levels are mutual and reciprocal. There have been SBs I would not be caught dead with again (beyond that erroneous first meeting) in any public format and setting! Needless to say that I am truly single!

Currently, I have two SB relationships. The primary is more like a GF situation and has lasted for a year. While we haven't traveled together, we go to movies, theater, museums and galleries a lot. Also frequently go to dinner and she has even come to parties with me. We don't go BCD every single time but we usually do.

Different with the second SB, which is a fairly new relationship. She comes over, we chat for a while. fuck like maniacs for two to three hours and then she leaves.

So far, it's a pretty good balance but I know nothing lasts forever!

I've been trying the SB world for a year, bad start so I quit but reignited 6 months ago. Here's the lowdown--of course different for everyone. It takes a lot of time, much wasted but it is possible to land SB of all shapes and sizes and $ range. Right now, I am rotating 4 or 5. With each I met them for lunch or coffee and then reached out again a few days later to set up a BCD meeting. Whenever I have had a second meeting, sex is involved, always. Prices range from $200 for the rare, inexperienced college girl to $400 for experienced SB. They are white, black, Latina and mixed. I like variety that's why I rotate. I think a couple will drop out because I am only calling them once a month or so. With the ones I enjoy the most, I see them weekly or  3 times a month. True, there are lots of scammers and fakes but after a while  it becomes easier to figure them out. The age range is early to late 20's. I did have one meeting BCD with a hot 45 year old but I definitely prefer the young ones. MY SA subscription has lapsed and I won't re-up anytime soon.

First the similarities, I too try to keep 4 or 5 in the rotation, although I am currently only seeing three as I lost a couple due to attrition and haven't made up the slack as I've been busy the last couple of weeks.  I suppose if you count a couple I see only once a month or so, I am still at around 5. The rates you quote are pretty close to what I have encountered although I have had some even cheaper than $200 and a few that have gone up as high as about $500, although that has always been for overnight dates of at least 8-10 hours or longer. Racially, my mix has been quite varied like yours, virtually all races have been represented, the three I am seeing presently are black, Latina, and white respectively. As for their ages, two are 18 and one is mid twenties. The oldest SB I have ever been with was 38, but she was Asian and looked no more than 25, the second oldest was 33, but she too was Asian and could pass for early twenties. ALL the rest of my SB's have been under 30, but one white girl was right at thirty and almost became a "real" GF, come to think of it, she NEVER asked me for a penny.

Where we differ is that I rarely meet for "lunch" which rarely turns into a BCD date. Of the three "regs" I have know all three started with dinner dates and all three ended up with sex on the first date. I do tend to see "most" of my SB's about once a week, but I do like to have at least one "go to" girl that I see more often and right now one of the three I see at least twice a week, and we do more than just BCD, we spend at least one complete night together each week, usually either Friday or Saturday night as she is a student and doesn't have classes on weekends so we can sleep in as late as we want.

I have ZERO intention of dropping my SA subscription and have renewed for six months to save the hassle of paying every month

I have no time restraints and I can stay with any of my SB's as long as I (and she) want to.

I seem to get a mix of SB's that are "BCD only" and SB's where we do other stuff as well, and money really doesn't seem to have much to do with it. One of my "regs" who has moved into more of a "fav" and I usually spend at least one date a week of at least twelve hours, sometimes stretching into 24 hours. We have NEVER had a "money conversation" where we have agree upon an allowance or any other agreement as to how much money she needs each week/month. I would say 90% of the time I give her money, sometimes as little as a hundred bucks, other times as much as three hundred. Yes she is an SB, not my GF and yes I am certain if I were to go broke she would find someone else as I am over three times her age, but that said, we have simply never had any kind of "formal" arrangement, The other day she called me out of the blue, said she was bored and horny and wanted me to come pick her up. So that's exactly what I did, we spent a few hours together and  when I took her home I simply threw a pair of workout sweats, no wallet, no cash, or anything on me. About halfway to her house I realized I had no money and I asked her if she wanted me to turn around, to which she said, "don't worry about it, I still have some money left over from the last time you gave me money"  No wonder she has become my favorite. lol

It's funny, when an SB doesn't act mercenary, the "nice guy" in me comes out and I "want" to do nice things for them. When an SB acts like a hooker, I want to get the "best deal" I can. Funny how it works, isn't it?

Man, that is SO TRUE!!! Couldn't agree with you more. I don't know why some of these SBs don't get that! You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

I've also had a couple of SB's that were BCD only, we started at around $200, but I made the offer to see them "several" times a week if they liked, but for $100 each time. A couple of them really liked the idea that they could go make a hundred bucks virtually any and every day of the week, and I LOVED the idea of getting laid several times a week for a hundred bucks each time. It was like being back in Costa Rica. lol

The other thing I like about those kind of arrangements were that they were "sex only" no making forced chit chat, or trying to entertain each other for hours on end. We simply took care of each other's needs and then went about our respective lives. The other side benefit of course is the big head is fully in charge when meeting POT SB's if the little head is being satisfied on a regular basis. How often do you make a dumb decision about a POT SB when you got laid only an hour before? Not often. lol

Can't do dinner most of the time because of my live-in GF. Sometimes I take them shopping. Took one to NYC for a weekend when my GF is out of the country. I do stuff with them when I have time and my GF is out of town. They seem happy if you buy them little things or take them to fun places.

What does SB stand for?

At the risk of sounding like a broken record (as nearly all my postings have been about this) my first "real" sugar relationship, as you describe it, recently ended.  While the initial experience was absolutely the height of ecstasy, the aftermath has been torturous.  Second guessing, "should've done this, could've done that" consumes a probably unhealthy amount of my thoughts, as our trajectory seemed to be accelerating quickly toward something beyond the SD/SB realm and I am haunted by what could have been.

If you're not ready for something like that, or for the possibility of it ending (and I was woefully underprepared), it can be tough to get over.  Better, in that case, to do as you have done and keep things light and at arm's length than to move in the direction of "a more traditional date" as you put it.

Thanks for your post.  I have wondered if keeping these ladIes at arm's length has been a subconscious decision on my part.  Getting attached when you consciously believe you are not interested in a girlfriend/relationship can get rough.  I, like, most, want things my way.  Getting to know someone better who you like and have great sex with is only natural...but where does it end and how do you keep it in check?

Some girls ask for an allowance, but while I've never done it, it does not make sense (or dollars to sex value) to do that.  When they want $$ they text you sweet nothings or horny missives and fun is on the way.  Allowance probably will be a lazy girl.  Also, I don't want to go to dinner or movie, etc.  If I wanted a GF I'd get one.  I basically want a semi pro whore.   And sometimes, I gotta mix it up and an hour with a great hooker who knows what they are doing hits the spot just fine.  Also, no need to explain "im busy" or why I don't want to see them or here from them again!

You are looking for a "quasi hooker" or more accurately a hooker at a lower rate. Others are looking for a "quasi girlfriend" IOW a GF without all the emotional commitment.  

A LOT of guys do want dinner and a movie to go along with their BCD activities, it completes the GFE part of the fantasy for them.  

I agree that I don't see value to me in giving an allowance, but others do, and the SB keeps up her part of the fantasy by sending "sweet nothings" by text or email in between the actual meeting to give the illusion of a "connection" None of this is anything I am willing to pay an extra cent for, but I don't want to be judgmental here, if a guy "thinks" he is getting his money's worth, then "to him" he is getting his money's worth, despite the fact that both you and I don't think he is.

Of course, there are real SBs, if by that you mean women who want to go out with you in public, fuck you in private and take a PPM or monthly stipend for it. But you have to look for one. Keep in mind that every arrangement is a unique negotiation between two people and if that is what you want you need to make that a key part of your criteria as you search. I will be surprised if you do.

Everyone has a life, and the sugar relationship needs to fit into that life, not the other way around. I have two SBs, who I chose because I liked their look, their price, and hanging out with them. And the sex is good. We talked about going out, but I never asked how often they like to go out or what their schedule was as we were in our courtship (not sure what else to call it) phase. Like you, once the dust settled, they both seem pretty happy to meet, maybe have a quick bite, fuck and go. These are not short dates - one I routinely see for 3-5 hours, and the other for 2-3. The first is a college student who truly seems to enjoy hanging out, cuddling, and fucking of course. For the most part, the length of our dates has been limited by my schedule, not her. We always go out for a bite first, though she has made it clear she prefers casual more than fancy. She has not indicated a lot of interest in doing more in public when I suggested it, tho I do expect we will go out on a real date, probably a musical or something, some day, probably for some special occasion. Otherwise, she is happy with our current arrangement and it works fine for me.

The other works, comes to see me after work and then has to leave as she needs to get home and to bed for work the next morning. She is in her 30s and that is what she likes. When we meet on a day off for her, she is happy to do other things, so far just nice dinners, and stay later, so she is not just keeping me at a distance. She has a schedule and I need to respect that.

I like both of them and want this to be friendly, to work for both of us. I listen to their stories with interest, try to understand what they want, what their schedule constraints are, what they like and respect those things. My interest is in having sex and enjoyable intimacy on many levels with smart, pretty, interesting, passionate women, and I am quite satisfied. Intimate time and sex. Whether it is public time or not is not that important, but it is part of what we do, just not a big part. If it is a big deal for you, let your SB know, and make that an issue when looking for a new one. But ask yourself this - will you choose the busy, beautiful hot as hell woman who just wants to fuck and go, or a less exciting woman who is happy to spend the day going out and the fucking? Yeah, I know what GaG will say, and I sort of agree (within the limits of my schedule and budget) - I pick both.

enjoy,
zig

My take on this is "sometimes you feel like a nut, other times you don't"

Yes, I do pick "both" but some days I will pick one over the other depending on what I am in the mood for at the time. I bet you a lot of SB's with multiple SD are the exact same way. One SD she really likes to go out with as he always shows her a good time, another that clicks well with her in the sack, another who's an easy touch for money, etc etc etc.

Why shouldn't we be the same?