I realize this message could be posted on the General forum or maybe the legal forum, but I just thought it would get the best response here.  If you want me to move it LG, please advise.  I'll still show you mine - even if you won't show me yours.

There is a provider I have been seeing for almost 2 years - sometimes very frequently.  She had gone UTR and was only providing to a few select individuals, myself included.  I had seen her so many times things got very comfortable and I would say the degree of sexploration was mutually gratifying.

Things finally got to the point where she finally told me she was taking me off the clock, but I had some unfortunate family issues and emotionally I just wasn't there - or I just needed some Androgel under my chin - so I was reticent to take her up on her offer.  Remembering what LG has said over and over, I realized what was going down - and this provider had on several occasions made overtures about a possible LTR - and also about taking me BBFS.  When she told me she was taking me off the clock I remarked to her "so this is where it get's personal, eh?".  After a pause, she gave me the best reply she could under the circumstances - something along the lines "no, I just want you to see how different I am from the other ladies".  Good comeback.

I tried a couple of times after that to see her but I think she was hurt I didn't take her up on her generous offer - we just couldn't seem to connect.  But the middle of last month I tried to get up with her and the phone messages weren't being answered at all.  Finally, I drove over to her place, rang the door bell - alas to no avail.  But when I was there, I noticed the local county sheriff had left a door hanger with a notification to contact him about some civil litigation issue.  She had told me about some issues she was having with a former boyfriend and that it had gotten ugly between the two of them, so while at face value the placard tightened the sphincter a bit, I also knew there were ongoing issues and maybe that was just part of it.

At first I thought, since the provider was in school at university, that maybe she was on fall break.  So I kept trying to contact her, leaving messages on her cell phone to call back - that I was concerned for a variety of reasons - to no avail.  Clearly her cell phone is turned off - you call and it goes directly into voice mail.  Clearly, she has not blocked my phone, because I get the same response from other phones.

This past weekend I drove back to her place to see if she was there.  No answer to the door bell - and no placard either.  I'm beginning to wonder if the dwelling is empty, but I just can't determine that - at all.

I realize that there's little anybody can say for sure about the situation.  I'm beginning to wonder if she's in trouble with LE and just doesn't want to bring her cell phone up for fear it will register in the network and point to her location.  I'm also wondering if she is just trying to play me emotionally on this, because I had, for the time being, turned down her offer for free poontang.

Over the past 6 months she had a fairly dramatic change in living environment - significantly so for a college student.  I always wondered about that - she mentioned something about an older guy who wanted more than she could give.  And she wasn't commercially providing, had a really nice car, nice digs...........and was a college student.  Somehow this all doesn't add up.

I have given the thought to going over to the management office and inquiring about the unit, but I always seem to decide against.  I realize there is little anybody can suggest about what to do immediately other than sit tight, call occasionally as long as the cell phone still works, and eventually something will happen - maybe.

I guess I'd appreciate any insight others may have and/or suggestions.

BS

-- Modified on 11/3/2008 2:48:24 PM

Dear BigSplooge,

It appears that you have fallen...and are struggling to get up...

Here's my 2 cents: Stop right now. Just stop. You know why. The whole posting and all its acronyms in their boundary-breaking glory - LTR, BBFS, UTR...egads...not good. It's just too much.

Please, BigSplooge. You are a really sharp cookie. Smart, educated, really funny, with a good head on your shoulders. Every time you go on this board it's a joy. And now this. Please. I'm not going to say it again. This is not for you to investigate, ponder on, ruminate and obsess over.

If she wants to contact you, she will,
the Love Goddess

for all of LG's reasons.  

There's trouble with this woman -- too many shadows, lawsuits, sheriffs, older men.   Stuff is lurking there, and it's probably not good stuff. As well as you think you might have known her, you didn't.

I suspect she had an agenda for you...but I'll leave that thought right there and not speculate further.  

Any type of relationship between a client and a provider that goes beyond the basic business transaction is inherently unstable.  That's not to say it won't eventually work, but it's essential that the lives of the two individuals be relatively stable in themselves.  Hers is not.

...it's really not anywhere near as poignant as it might sound...really!  I have most definitely NOT fallen - the situation I had with this provider was very, very convenient - in a location where - well, shall we say - the pickin's are somewhat slim.

I just wanted to get some more poontang, that's all.  

But I hear ya.  I know, I know...there's other fish in the pond.

But here, the fish just aren't that good.

Now, if I were in LA.....

BS

Why on earth would you drive to the residence of a provider uninvited?  What if she was there and with another client? Even worse what if she was there with an SO or family member. No matter how well you THINK you know her you have no business intruding in her life without an appointment to see her.

Look, I'm not saying it's easy.  It's obvious you care about this lady and you are probably worried.  That is a chance you take when you get involved with a lady who must, by necessity, lead a double life.

You really have no options other than to wait and see if she contacts you.

...seriously.  I am NOT involved in this emotionally.  I'm probably more curious than anything.  In fact, I was the one who stepped back when she wanted to take me OTC (off the clock), when she offered me BBFS, etc, etc, etc.

I'm like just wondering WTF.  I don't want to own her junk...I just want to continue to rent it...at my convenience - which is a statement of previous condition.  She told me I could come over to her place ANY TIME - but I always did so with a phone call's notice.  Now I will admit the past 2 times I've gone over to her place it has been without a call, but my expectation was that she wouldn't be there and I guess I was just curious.

And the fact that she just disappears leaves one of several possible scenarios - 1) she's in trouble 2) she's making a move and fucking with me  3) she's on a cruise in the mediterranean with some greek fuck magnate.

Really, I think I'm more curious than anything about what she's up to - it all doesn't make sense really, but hey whatever.

Thanks for what you all bring up.  Turkana - I acknowledge to what you are alluding.  That's an interesting angle - one I hadn't previously considered.  If she does come 'round again, it'll be curious to see how she spins it.

Still not dashed,

BS

-- Modified on 11/3/2008 4:38:51 PM

LG, Boston Guy and others have told you.  Wait until she contacts you.  What else can you do?

She knows you want to get in touch, that much is certain.

Just back off and she will eventually contact you.  It might take a month and it might take a year, but she will.

I've gone through similar circumstances myself and it always, always works.

True that.  Again, I am most definitely not going through the beguiled hobbyist melee.  More than anything, I was curious what other's experience was in similar situations, and when the fog finally cleared, what was the raison d'etre?

Maybe I'll find out, maybe I won't.

Onward, bedswerving hobbyists!

Best,

BS

If you know her real name the sheriff's visit means there is a record of some sort at the local courthouse.  Whether it's a criminal matter or a civil litigation matter there will be a file open at the courthouse.  Call there and ask the clerk if he/she will check party indexes.  If you can't get it by phone, the indexes and the files are open to the public. You can find out what the case is about and probably get the latest address from looking at the file.

...want to go there.  The notice from the sheriff was definitely for a civil matter, and the name, ironically, was not a name I was familiar with, which vouches for what either Turkana or Bostonguys said.  I was very careful to note it was a civil, not a criminal matter.

No I think if she's gone off the grid there's a reason, I'm just not sure why.  I am by nature a very curious person, so I will admit it has my attention though.

Hey, again folk, I just want to get some strange poontang.  We did some crazy stuff - just wouldn't mind doing some more.  But I definitely don't want to own it.

BS

You asked a question, we're only giving you our opinions.  Agree, disagree, it's entirely up to you.  But imo, I agree with the LG and others.  You seem to be more involved than you want to admit.  I don't know how close you and your lady friend may have been, but the only thing you can do is wait and see.  If she contacts you, she contacts you.  If not, move on.  But continually trying to call her or stopping by where she lives, it borders on stalker behavior.

...your comments are well received.  The relationship clearly had evolved into something more than a provider-client relationship because I really had (emphasize "had") very free access to her and her sexual favors.  I always paid her for our time, but she was clearly making overtures to me.  I wouldn't bite - even when she volunteered to take me OTC.

I can see how one might construe my activities as "stalking".  You're entitled to your opinion.  However, the definition of stalking requires the prospective stalk-ee to disfavor the activities of the prospective stalk-er; and I have no evidence to that effect.  If she were to tell me to get lost, I'd be gone.  I might have some questions, but I'd honor her wishes.

But, you see, that's really the problem, that is, she's just disappeared.  It would be like a friend of yours disappeared, you'd investigate if you were any friend at all.

Best,

BS

-- Modified on 11/15/2008 10:07:09 AM

I thought Big Splooge was asking a serious question but I really don't have any idea what to make of his responses. I really think he was just having a little fun with this thread.

-- Modified on 11/4/2008 5:27:59 PM

...for their insight.  My intent was truly to get some idea on what might be going on in this provider's world.  I will heed much of the advise given here.

Now, not being forlorn about this situation whatsoever, I do believe I am going to take proper counsel of my own frequently dispensed advise, and go get myself laid.

Best,

BS

-- Modified on 11/5/2008 5:13:53 AM