the newest diagnoses in the upcoming DSM-V: They are PHRD (Provider-Hobbyist Relational Disorder) and PHPTRD (Provider-Hobbyist Post-traumatic Relational disorder)!

Yes, the committee is a little late in coming; however, the demonstrated need for inclusion in the DSM-v mitigates the additional resources and expenditures necessary to complete the process.

Anyone with documentation concerning dissolutions of marriages, alimony payments, custody disputes, depleted bank accounts, extortion threats, psychological breakdowns, immigration trauma and other mayhem related to PHRD and/or PHPTRD, please forward your correspondence to: The Exploratory Committee for Rehabilitation of Hobbyist Disorders. Correspondence accompanied by used panties, napkins with lipstick stains or similar mementoes will be returned. Affidavits and expert testimony from providers will be given priority.

Once the DSM-V expert panel has reached its decision, an exploratory campaign committee for the inclusion of PHRD and PHPTRD as reimbursable disorders with insurance companies will commence. Donations to the campaign committee are gratefully accepted, a portion of which will go to establishing an in-patient facility for the treatment of said disorders in hobbyists who show signs of addiction and dependence upon provider-hobbyist relations.

For further information, please contact Mr. Schmuck at 1-800-XHOBSTR.

Gosh, I've never been in love with any providers. I feel left out. Can I be in love with you, LG??

How many of these "I'm-going-marry-my-provider-because-we're-in-love" posts are based in reality? I suspect 99% of the guys who think about running away with their provider are living a 100% fantasy.

They're leaders in the field of extracting heads from asses, having developed experimental techniques that allow the repositioning of the cranium without killing the host asshole.  

I notice you never say to these lovelorn guys, "Are you freaking kidding me? No young hot chick wants to take up with an loser who's got to pay her!* Wake up!" like I always hope you'll do.

Why do you not reply along those lines? Is it unethical in your position to call someone a dummy or delusional? Just curious.  

*-- this does not apply to guys with lots of money.

Yes, the committee is a little late in coming

That's unusual around here...

Dear Love Goddess:
I assume that these would be the men that have not mastered the art of compartmentalization.

I'm curious as to why this sarcastic post was written by the esteemed muse of this forum?

I happen to think that men that have these "disorders" are schmucks but I didn't expect such an honest and sarcastic post from TheLoveGoddess.

What's the deal here? Did I miss something that occurred recently that created the motivation for her to post this way?

And the hobbyists (particularly the mods) who have been on TER boards for several years did appreciate it.

Personally, I think my "I-think-I've-fallen-for-a-provider-and-can't-get-up" disorder is much more sarcastic, and I regularly confer this status upon posters who write in to uphold the stats.

Was there something recently? Well, both this board and the GD board have had a rash of men who have lost their perspective quite severely. Did you read about the man who was ready to go to China while married to someone else? I rest my case. We've also had a guy who was about to import someone from Africa (oops, that was last year, but it was severe) and someone ready to confront putative traffickers who had enslaved a Nigerian provider writing Shakespearean sonnets.

A few years of that, and you really begin to think that there is a disorder out there. But don't worry, all of this is going into my dissertation, where I will be dead serious about considering the long-term psychological effects of consistently paying for constructed emotional affect rather than bare-bones banging with no particular emotional consequences.

Let's all say it in unison: It's a fucking business (also sarcastic, used at least once a month by yours truly),

The Love Goddess

Yes!  It is a fucking business; there is no doubt about that!  

I was actually glad to see your post.  I've often wondered about the men that say they're in love with their ATF or other providers.  It never made sense to me but the subject was always dealt with here with a serious tone.  The fact that you posted the "refined irony" was GREAT and much needed in my view.

Thanks for the reply and for answering the questions.

Here's to: "a fucking business" that needs to be kept in perspective by the fuckers who pay to have access to the providers' bodies.  "Bodies" is emphasized versus "minds and/or emotions" which is not for sale.

-- Modified on 11/16/2009 7:46:47 AM