Seen this before, usually with 1st time SB's or SB's with significant baggage they have not revealed to you - like a recently separated husband.
Whatever the reason she gave you, like worried you will be a no show - she may never tell you the real issue. A while back I had a business trip to Portland and I scouted POT's about 2 months in advance. I connected with one who looked promising and we started text chatting. She was very worried that I was married (I was and am not) and objected to meeting at my hotel bar, for fear I would "trick her" into going straight to my room.
I spent a lot of time trying to reassure her and coax her to agree to meet and she finally agreed to meet in front of the hotel lobby and walk across the street to a mall with an upscale restaurant. She did show, but what followed was one of the worst dates I've ever had. As we started to eat, I finally got some of the "deets" on her trepidations. She was recently separated from her husband of 12 years. He was a Naval officer serving in one of the Subs that dock in Portland. She was terrified that I might be a "spy" for him, or that I was a cheater myself - despite my claims. She was also terrified of "someone" seeing her at the hotel with a strange man. There's a lot more that moved this date into the Twilight Zone, but I'll spare you the details. When we finished the meal, I walked her back across the street and leaned in to give her a goodby kiss on the cheek, as I had already realized she was nowhere near ready to go BCD - possibly ever. She stopped me and offered a handshake. Next, she declined my offer to walk her to her car and cover the parking fee. She was still worried I was a serial killer or something worse.
I did not take any of this personally because it was obvious she was just batshit crazy and I would be an order of magnitude better off heading to my room and jerking off to a "Skinamax" movie. But as it turned out, I pivoted and headed to one of Portland's infamous strip clubs where I did a double VIP with a 21-year-old Asian spinner who gladly accepted my $300 tip to go BBFSCIP. So allowance well-spent after all.
The takeaway is that some (Most? All?) women never reveal what they think, fear, or desire most. It's usually best to accept their "reasons" no matter how irrational they are. But that's because it's simply not worth the effort to find out what's really going on.
Life is good
The Cat
Despite our best intentions and no matter how well a POT checks the boxes leading up to a potential BCD the fact is that many/some will not result in a BCD. As Herb has indicated, there are just too many reasons a lady has to get cold feet prior to intimacy and you may never get the truth. The scammers are another factor that impact our success rate. People are complicated, women even more so especially when it comes to sex and money. Thankfully there are a lot of fish in the sea. All we can do is keep our lines in the water and know we will catch a good one eventually. You did everything right and you gave it your best shot. As you say, on to the next girl who could potentially be the right fit.
