I hope it's time for another one of these threads, we've had fun with them in the past.  I just discovered a profile on SA in which the SB mentions her husband in passing.  Then at the end she says: "P.S.  Don't worry about the husband...  The competition will be good for him!"

Followed by "I might make bad decisions but at least I look good while doing it" posted by the same girl.  

LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND  (somebody else's)

This is a good thread

I really like "free thirty day trial"! LOL

"She wants a Gucci purse but I want some head"

"My partner and I are in a lesbian relationship and we are seeking a sperm donor!"

"I could use something rock hard right now"

Her tag line reads: "You have to pay to talk to me"

- The deeper the root the sweeter the fruit
- Time to get it right . I don’t bite
- hard working, don’t waste my time  
- Looking for fun $ daddy 💰no ppm😝
- You make the money, I spend it.
- Get to know me I’m super interesting I promise☺️
- Red bottoms, to step on your neck my love
- Overgrown house cat in a human body
- I would prefer a nonintimate arrangement.  
- Yes my hair is blue now. No I am not a smurf
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And so the search continues...  
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Life is good
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The Cat

I saw a SB with this one and replied that I would take her up on the offer.  She thought it was a cute response and then blocked me.

- Probably not 'The One' but what fun is that?

From her About Me section: I like long walks on the beach with my s/o until the LSD wears off and I realize I am dragging a stolen mannequin around a target parking lot.

lookin2meetBenjamins
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Life is good
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The Cat

I love sex & shopping be discreet & $300 or better.

Wonder how long it will take for that profile to removed.

It doesn't really tie the $300 to any specific acts.  It's not exactly a secret (pun intended) that money happens on these sites.

This just goes to show the old saying, chicks don't date/marry down.

New one in the local area:

eom

Headline said "Will it fit in my mouth?"

I would like to enjoy a cocktail with you.....Hold the tail ,please

Name;  TheFukDoll

Her about me section says:
Your hands are full of my ass &
My hands are full of your cash.

stay for the ass!

Her heading:  "Lunch time fun, anyone, my place?"

It could be a Chinese Political parade...  
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18 yr old near me with an hours-old profile puts this in her Seeking section:
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"Hello. I am seeking for someone who will serve and be attentive to me whenever i like. i will do FWB but to a certain extent. if you can do something beneficial for me we can arrange a date and time. otherwise i am not interested. i like to travel,shop, go hiking. i’d also prefer if can be given allowances. i am in school trying to pursue a career in radiology. ♥️ if you can do up-fronts that would be great too!"
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I wonder who coached her?
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Life is good
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The Cat

Saw these tag lines on SA in the last 10 days the first one was down down or hidden two days later (probably too many messages):
I don’t need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you..  
I hope your day is as great as my ass.
Good girls go to Heaven... I’m going to Valhalla!
Your personal toy

She has 17 profile pics -- and only one of them has her smiling...

This one from a hot Asian who is obviously a pro/semi pro with multiple locations.

and her profile ends with:
—COVID-19 FREE—

I’m the parasite and you’re the host

Too bad this one was from a 40ish, rather plain looking woman, Great line though.

My personal favorite is when the tag line is "Casual & Drama Free!"  The pictures are usually of a very hot blond so you scroll down to Seeking and...8 patagraphs of her very detailed high maintenance demands. Yep, totally casual and drama free.  

Best to leave sleeping dogs lie.  They can complain about harassment, etc.

I know the temptation is tough, but it doesn't take a lot to get kicked off the site, so you have to ask yourself "is it worth it?"

and I found one who said don't expect to get a clean cat for free

and her tag line is "Can really use something rock hard right now"

Saw this tag line today:  
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"IF WE MEET UP, PLEASE DONT MURDER ME"
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She may be setting the bar a little too low...  
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Life is good.
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The Cat

"Do whatever you want to me...I'm in a wheelchair"

Yikes!

Her tag line is:  
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"do you have paypal or cashapp"
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Sounds legit, right? :p  
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Life is good.
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The Cat

Yes, I get those all the time. I had one two days ago who claimed to be about 90 miles from me, was interested in meeting (of course) but needed me to pay her phone bill first. Yeah right. lol Yesterday I checked her profile again and she had changed her profile to say she was now in Denver. lol

You are correct, Sir!  She did favorite me.  I have not replied of course.  
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Nor do I reply to multiple favorites I am getting from profiles in South America or Asia.  
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I had one Asian POT who favorited me and sent a message. Her profile showed her in Los Angeles.  And SA said she was 22 miles from me, which is in line with downtown LA.  That's usually a no go location for me, for reasons I've mentioned before, but she was Asian, 21 and hella hot. So I replied. We ended up on whatsapp before she told me she is actually in China, hoping to come to LA soon. I told her to look me up when she gets here, and moved on.  
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Tomorrow, I have a Cambodian stripper coming over for an hour of fun. The strip clubs are all closed, so...
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Life is good
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The Cat

Dealing with all the POT SB's is a lot like "prospecting" and any good salesman who values his time knows that one of the secrets to successful prospecting is to NOT waste your time with unqualified buyers. Ruling out non buyers quickly is one of the best ways to save your valuable time to spend on actual prospects.

Wine's not all I swallow

we are all here for a reason. I know my role.

Looking for a badass. Already have a good ass.

Tag line: 4 hunnit to talk cause y’all fake
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Primary Location: Calabasas, California, United States
Secondary Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico, United States
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About me: I aint trying to get sick rn tbh
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Any takers? :p  
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Life is good.
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The Cat

Tag line: "5 months pregnant, let me drain your credit card"  
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And her Seeking section"  
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"I don’t care how many times you’ve been scammed before
If you mention that I will not reply
No i will not send money to your nanny
No i will send money to your other business
I will no take your “test” to prove My loyalty
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In order to get my number you must message me here
If you have you number on your profile you’re poor"
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She viewed my profile 9 hours ago.  I shall not be sending her a message.  
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Life is good.
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The Cat

No shit WOW, that might be about the worst one ever.  what the F does she think she has to offer?

Mr Cat, I respectfully acknowledge your first and only right to those 2 ladies.  I will not cock block you on those at all. In fact I encourage you the take one for the team and report back!  

Um..... thank you? :p

The difference between me and a mosquito is I don't stop sucking when you slap me!

I assume you swiped right? :p

Hell yes!

Suck my beauty in and bleep my brains out

Can't afford a vibrator so here we are.

This on a woman's SA profile "I want money and I will act like I like you but I really want money"

That's my kind of gal.  I actually don't care if she likes me.  I just want the sex.

Nothing wrong with being a bad girl if you are a good woman. (actually seeing this girl)

They also tend to be more fun than the prissy girls as long as you don't act all "needy and clingy" That of course is the kiss of death with that kind of woman.

I’m the definition of baby girl call me your pretty little girl while filling my mouth lol

In her "About Me" section:  
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I like to have intellectual conversations i see myself intelligent
no need of wasting time so sorry if I don't respond, it means I'm not intresting.
***the only "catfish" that can happen here is that I will look much better in reality, better this way than reverse 😜
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Well, yeah, she's really not "intresting" to me.  
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Life is good.
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The Cat

Looking for someone to help fund my weed, tattoo and lingerie addiction.

This from Tinder: "...only difference between me and a mosquito is I don't stop sucking when you slap me."

What do u want to know about me I’m very so as mush as a mystery so just ask and I can till u

Last line in her "About me" section:  
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"Hit me if you’d like to know anything else xoxo"
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Um... not really my thing....  
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Life is good.
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The Cat

The proof reading done on a lot of these things are pretty awful.

I think it's cute that you believe they proof read.
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Or spellcheck.
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Or know what a complete sentence is.  
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Or care.

IF they are hot enough they know no one is going to care about their communication skills, or even if they can tie their shoes on their own for that matter. lol

Tag: Come find out why they call me Dyson

Is her Profile name "Hoover"?  
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The only thing that would make her better is if she's cordless.  
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Life is good.
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The Cat

last line in her "Seeking" section:
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" I’m hoping to enhance my figure with a breast augmentation this summer...Will you sponsor it?"
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Um...... that's a hard 'no'.
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Life is good.
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The Cat

Tag line:  Life just gave you a blessing, don't miss out on it

So I realize this string is a bit dated but was favorited by a profile today and just curious about how many people would jump at this one..

Heard anything and later her profile was deleted. Either she found someone or it was a scam. More likely a scam or some type of honeypot.

Certainly a scam. There is just no way that can end well for a SD.  

I read the Harlan Ellison story way back when.  Never knew about the movie though!

Hi im looking for someone who would be a perfect fit for me

From her profile: "Lookin for a high IQ man with a tall bank account to either have my baby or give me something fun for now and you better be hot too"

In her About Me section. I don't really know what to make of this.  
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"All I ask is that you please not waste my time. And please don’t send a paragraph about a weekly arrangement you want. I’m not interested. 😊"
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Life is good
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The Cat

and her Seeking line: "i want a sugar daddy to pay me to do what ever he wants"

In her seeking section:  I'm looking for a discreet wealthy man to fund my more expensive tastes. Looking for online/phone companionship. I get off on financially cuckolding my boyfriend.

Her tagline: "Young girl looking to be soiled by you"

Saw one today who says "Soil me daddy".  Must be her sister, right?

"sweetrob1"
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Don't think she read the Acronym List yet. :p
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Life is good.
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The Cat

Not sure, but I believe they may both may be attending 'collage'   HaHa

Not a line, but her SB name is Roseistance.  You know a woke lecture is in your future.  No way.

"I'm a young Armenian female who works as a scribe and is currently attending school"
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A "works as a scribe"??  
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Is she getting all Medieval on us?  

Scribes are young people who take notes during a doctor-patient interaction.  Improves the efficiency of the visit as the physician can spend more time with the patient.  The scribes notes are translated, edited, co-signed and become a component of the the official visit documentation.  Most scribes are interested in entering the medical field and work during a gap year or while trying to improve their application for medical school.

Good info, SB...  

Yup, one of my favorite SBs works as a scribe and fits the profile perfectly.  She writes what the doctors dictate, takes notes, and hopes to enter the medical field herself one day.  

Was there ever a more obvious GPS red flag?

Hey Papa Sweet!  

Woman with Coronavirus seeks man with Lyme Disease

"hope to attend Law School so I very much appreciate intelluctual conversation"

I went to visit a client there once, he lived basically at the "top of the hill" he told me he was building a "media room" in what I guess could be called his basement. I was thinking of a room of maybe a thousand square feet max with some nice chairs and a big screen tv. What I found (after we got of the elevator. lol) was a fully decked out room of about 4,000 sq ft, complete with a movie screen every bit as big as you'd find in a multi-plex.  

I once saw that profile or one very much like it. I laughed out loud.

About Me:
I’m in a relationship I don’t want to be in and need money to get out

Nope, no drama whatsoever.  But you know, there are some guys who love the role of white knite riding in to rescue some distressed damsel.  Maybe her approach will appeal to them.  If so, they can keep her, I'd stay far away.

And then, after a few weeks or maybe months with you, she posts:
"About Me:  
 I’m in a relationship I don’t want to be in and need money to get out."

Seeking:
To be completely honest, a generous billionaire who would like to set me up with homes, cars, and a vault of gold in Switzerland and then forget about me would be ideal.

Her tag line is "One of a kind"

beautiful 19 yo:
Seeking:
Looking for slaves, human ATMs, money pigs, and whales who want to be put in their place.

Pole,  

Just for fun, I messaged her and thanked her for adding some uniqueness to the site.  Turns out she's really sweet and nice but definitely set in what's she's looking for.

and not a lot more effort to deal with the responses she gets from it. So she has ZERO money, and only a little bit of her time into trying to land a spineless guy with a huge bank account. Do you really blame them for trolling for whales?

I don't blame them/her/him? for trying.  

The latest "thing" among the girls is OnlyFans and talking to my SB who has an account it works. I suspect the trend is to copy OnlyFans on SA.

Last line of her About Me section:  

Seeking:
I’m still in high school (but I’m 18) so I’m a very busy person and you need to understand that.  I need a man that knows how to treat me well with gifts.

If she's in HS then a gift might be a trip to In-n-Out (or Waffle House if you don't live in Cali).  

I actually had an 18yo SB who was in high school last year.  She was a cute little latina, totally dtf, and very realistic regarding $ugar.  And totally non-demanding. I apologized for not being able to see her more frequently and she said it's ok, I'm here anytime you want me.  Wound up dating her for several months before she disappeared.  Sometimes the older highschool girls are real!

That's her screen name, so I guess cumming anywhere else on her face is ok!

So nice looking 19 yo SB.  Has 2 kids.  Been on SA for a year.  Hmmm, the numbers have a difficult time adding up!  LOL

A 19 year old with two kids is hardly newsworthy, a 19 year old on SA for a year is also nothing new. Why is a 19 year old with two kids that has been on SA for one year giving you such a "difficult time adding up".  

Love her blue eyes, so I suppose she doesn't want to make them targets for Daddy's love shot. :LOL

I met a SB who told me that she joined at 16 (lying about her age of course). She was interesting, super smart, went to a very elite private college, but was completely immature emotionally. She wasn't going to have any babies though until she graduated (or possibly graduated from grad school). She was 19 when I met her. At least I didn't need to worry about becoming baby daddy #3 with her, but I didn't want any part of the potential emotional drama that would ensue from getting too involved.

...have led to me getting wild sex from hot SB's for over 10 years.  

Pretty close to the mark for her; she went to an all-girls Catholic high school, but a very prestigious and secular undergrad college. No obvious guilt on her part, just hard-core rebellion.  

I met a young submissive, liked to be tied up, choked, hair pulled, etc.  She grew up with her missionary parents in places like Africa.  She was at least a year ahead of everyone else her age in college.  She was just finishing up her studies this spring and had a job offer on the west coast where I presume she is now.  Not sure of her religion, but she said she knew she was into BDSM from a young age.

That's funny. She just showed up in my market. I thought she was in yours and Sweetman's.  She gets around

Takes a bit of finagling, i.e., starting the girl off on her adventure starting at 16 lol.  And some imagination to explain the the next few years.

"I can suck peanut butter through a bar straw"

and of course girls with "Daddy issues" lol

"I'm looking for someone who will write a bachelor's thesis for me. I'll suck dick in exchange."

Caught this gem today...” I do not want a relationship. I do not want to meet up due to covid 19. My safety is always first. Message me to send me money or you can look at my wish list “. Definitely appreciate the honesty. Best part of the whole thing was that I think she had a typo and forgot the “p” as her opening line states “ looking for someone who wants to soil me”.