So, I've met 4 for "coffee" and it's gone like this:

1. The one that wanted $5K/month for a weekly meeting! She's still on SA, still fishing. Hallucinatory.
2. The one with the "average" build that is more like "full on overweight".  
3. The one of my dreams, slender, 19, has had one prior SD (she says). Failed to show at the hotel after I got there and texted her the room number . She's a manager at a local business, an employee failed to show for work, so she had to stay to close the store. DISAPPOINTING!!  I'll keep working on this one because the girl is SO fucking hot. But, she's nearly at radio silence now, driving me batty.
4. The one today. 36, Columbian, a bit older and not quite the body type I like, but Oh, My, that accent and great eyes (and lips....). Seems practical, interested and motivated by "bills".

Lessons to date:

1. These women are not pros! Well, yah, duh. But SO FUCKING FLAKEY. Bad communicators, unsure of what they want, constantly hitting SA for that "better deal". So, yah, you might say "they're WOMEN".

2. I now get the thrill of the hunt, but I'm also annoyed at the huge time sink this is. After taking one of these (someday?) to fruition, I'm sure I'll be happier, but for now, it is a lot of frustration.

I suffer from two impediments: Small town with very limited options, so the usual "move on" advice is hard to take, because there's not much to move on TO. Also, wifey does NOT know or approve (it would be divorce)  and she's sort of suspicious, so this is all very low key and time constrained. These two issues may combine for me to just give this up soon....

The meeting today with my new Columbian friend did give me a brainstorm on how to get them moving towards that first "private meeting". There's a local spa with private spa suites with hot tub, sauna, and "relaxing area" ie, a mattress! Miss Columbia seemed intrigued when I suggested meeting there, if we decide to proceed, and hey, it's the same price (less) than a hotel and it gives the girls another reason to show, because it really is a pretty luxurious spa. (and it they don't show, at least I get a hot soak instead of a wasted hotel room!!)

Not sure this is gonna work for me, but still swinging. I recall when I couldn't get any K-girl booker to even answer my fucking emails, but then, eventually, it all started to work. So, carry on...

Generally I establish their looks before meeting. I always want to see a full body pic to check the weight situation. I learned this the hard way early on when a girl only sent face pics which were nice and met her and said to myself, "oh wow."  Actually I learned that lesson twice! Lol

I usually like to establish the arrangement first via txt before meeting in person. I've done it the other way in person. I generally prefer knowing ahead of meeting that a number has been agreed upon. Benefits: you have a better idea that the girl is serious about things.   The meeting can be more about getting to know. Better conversion rate to BCD. Downside: picking a number without actually seeing, talking, and evaluating hotness. You might be too high. Negotiating in person can be uncomfortable for some.  

In your case, I would never have met with number one. Number two I would have never met.  I would give number three a second chance but not get the room until she is "on the way." Just use priceline and pick a day when hotels are not all that busy. Number four sounds good but she is a bit old. Might be good or might not. South American women can be fantastic!  

I go in spurts. pan for gold for a month then let it rest for a while and take a break.

Live and learn.  Bowler has some good advice but you will find what works for you.  Others on here, like GaGa and Principium have differing approaches but they work for their situations, tastes, and personalities.  Find what works for you.  Like you, I am married and have to be careful and have only been at the Sugar world for about 4 months now.  The first month and half was brutal.  I was doing it long distance because I travel to where I play.  Now I have a fucking unicorn who is sending me body shots on a regular basis when I am not in town (I didn't ask her to but I'm not stopping her either) telling me how much she misses me.  My dick is in love.  Keep working it and you will find success.

If age is not an issue go for the Columbian. I've noticed the older are better in bed.  
Like you, I have the wife situation so travel about an 1.5 hours out of my area. Just feels safer.  
 
If you have a large town close by fish there. May be meet somewhere in between for BCD fun.  

Give up on girl one and two. Three may work out, but given that she's hot she have lots of guys chasing her. Check her profile and if she is online regularly, then she's most likely looking for someone else

I check out the discussion boards from time to time and this one often leaves me a bit confused.  The confusion is, why set up a SB/SD relationship instead of just seeing a pro?  From what I've read on this board, very much like Pilgrim's post, there are a number of significant difficulties in the SB/SD relationship.  Just from Pilgrim's post alone, it mentions a SB wanting a crazy high allowance, a SB exaggerating her weight, SB's being flakey and, in general, the entire process being difficult, time consuming and perhaps even wasteful.

From the outside looking in, I don't see the advantage of a SB over visiting a pro.  With the pro, you set up a meet as frequently, or infrequently, as you like, you pay as you go, there are fewer strings attached and, of course, there's more of an availability for variety.

It can be tough to get tone from the written word, please know that I don't mean to be rude, difficult or condescending, I'm simply looking to be educated on the benefits of the SB/SD relationship.  So, whether you're 3 months or 3 years into the process, please tell me the benefit to you in seeing a SB instead of a pro.  I've read so much about the inherent disadvantages, it would be nice to know that there are actual advantages too!

You mention the negatives which are all true. But when you hit the jackpot it's awesome. This is my jackpot.
#200 to 300 per meet with about four hours of BCD fun at the least. Overnights too happen at the same rate
#no extra charge if you want to take them when you are traveling
#Zero hotel cost if SB can host
#Feels like GF

Your perspective is greatly appreciated.  One point to make and one question to ask.  As to the point, your last 2 items could be obtained with a pro too, if she has incall, there's no cost added and GFE is certainly available.  As to the one question, how much time and effort did you expend to "hit the jackpot" in achieving the first 2 items?  Again, thanks for the input!

One of the other key things in the SD/sb relationship is it requires both parties to be interested in the relationship.  She has to be attracted to you and you to her.  In a pro environment, they pretty much take you no matter what (to some degree).  Plus with a pro there is an element of time watching.  You paid for an hour you get an hour (some may let you go a little longer).  The point is with a pro you are paying for an allotment of time whereas the SB tends to be as long as the date lasts and for a set price.

Try taking a pro out for dinner and then BCD.  She wants to be compensated for the dinner time and the BCD time.  A SB its all inclusive.

There are a number of intangibles too that go with the SD/sb world like the pursuit.  It can take an investment of time but when you find something that is mutually beneficial it just tends to feel better than, place the envelope on the table where I can see it and go use the bathroom while I check to make sure you paid me.

Its different and its not for everyone.  I still see the occasionally escort but right now I have a SB that is just amazing and well worth the investment of time and money

Also, for some of us at least, the pursuit is rewarding in and of itself. I don't view the expenditure of time and energy as a negative. In fact it's the opposite! I just love corresponding with several cuties at any given time and wondering which ones might actually wind up in bed with me. It fires up my imagination and makes me horny, which I love. And as others have said, there's no clock running during a date and they feel so much more like a true affectiionate affair with a girl who adores me! I still love the pros, don't get me wrong, they are angels of mercy who helped me achieve the happy state I enjoy today. But the SBs feel more real, at least for me, at least for now.

If you are a married POT SD  or one in a blissfully happy relationship with an SO who is not a spouse (a red herring, I know) then stick with Pros if you stand to lose a lot, financially, emotionally and all in between. This does not apply to folks in open relationships, swingers and the polyamorous types.

However, if one is single (yours truly) and is a bit of a masochist who enjoys the pleasure of the hunt, then sugaring make the process a bit more meaningful for my type who like to schmooze and "date" a bit even though a bit faked as opposed to truly civvie dating.

One other factor to remember is that a LOT of these POT SBs are also active (or have been active) on the conventional civvie dating sites. There is a good reason (or a few) that they also like to take chances running the SA gamut and that is why they like to be "spoiled" which is something that is truly a missing art form these days (so I've been told) when dating in the civvie format. I personally can not afford to "spoil" or "indulge" a hooker as they're too expensive for me to "date" above and over their rates for a standard session.

Believe, the SB flakes are making me truly appreciate the pros! But, this will calibrate you: In the small town I live in p four lists  4 (yes, 4) pros.

So, SA is just another venue to pursue, and sort of essential. True there is a much larger city an hour away, but finding excuses to be away for 4-5 hours is getting wearing. So, looking for some locals.

And, some of them are 19-20, and gal #3 on the list above keeps me motivated. Worth some effort on that one and perhaps several others that are similar.

It took less than a month.  

You'll experience a whole new level of gfe with SBs. Think about it --- a 45 minute kissing session. Multiple pops and no worries about the clock. Sex that is real. Sbs have a regular job generally and are not fucked as often as pros. So when they do get fucked they are wild.

I'm now seeing an up-side to the SB/SD arrangement!

Civvies of course are by far the most work, hookers the least. The Sugar World falls somewhere in between.

Just like the hooker world it's easy to look at the Sugar World in broad generalities. Are there SB's that want "crazy high" allowances? Of course Are there hookers demanding a grand an hour? Also true. You can say the same thing about hookers as you can SB's about B&S, being flakey, etc etc.  

I don't dispute that any and all of the negatives "can" be a part of the Sugar World, but just like many of us have learned to navigate the hooker world, so too can you learn to navigate the Sugar World and not experience anywhere near the negatives that "some" find with SB's

Here are the upsides, on average an  SB is going to be a LOT cheaper than a hooker on an hour by hour basis, I typically pay no more for an overnight $300-500 than many johns pay for an hour with a hooker. I also ONLY pay as I go, a lot of SB will want a weekly/monthly commitment, but that doesn't mean you have to cave into their every demand. I have been with a couple of dozen of dozen SBs over the last several months and NONE of them have succeeded in getting anything more that "pay as we go" from me.  

As for variety, I used to fuck a different hooker about every other day, sometimes more. I can't do that in the Sugar Bowl, but very few guys have that big an appetite to begin with. I usually keep a rotation of 4-5 SB's at any one time, which allows me to both get laid about every day if I want to, and still gives me the variety I crave.

The sex itself is much different than hooker sex quite often. It's a lot more like civvie sex in the fact that it's usually clock free, the women don't get as much dick as a hooker and are usually more appreciative of such little treats us whore mongers like to give, like DATY.  There is a lot of BB sex in the Sugar World, but that's a topic for another thread. Suffice it to say, Sugar Sex is much more  GFE than hooker GFE.  

I don't look at the Sugar/Hooker debate as an either or proposition. I like hookers and hooker sex AND I like SB's and Sugar sex. I will most definitely concede that for a married guy with limited time and resources, the Sugar World might not be what you are looking for as what good does it do to find a chick who will spend 6 hours with you for three hundred bucks if you can only get out of the house for a couple of hours at a time. Additionally, some guys don't really like women aside from fucking them, so spending all the time with an SB is a negative, not a positive. So for those BNG type guys the Sugar Word is a lot more trouble than it's worth.

I appreciate the enlightenment!  It sounds like the line of "The Sugar World falls somewhere in between" is very appropriate, it's akin to having an actual SO but with less of the "relationship" issues; it isn't monogamous, no commitments, no fighting over the remote and all the other BS.  Your response, as well as all the others, have me intrigued.  That said, falling into the category of "a married guy with limited time", I'm not entirely certain it would pan out for me.

Your comment about SBs being more appreciative of DATY is right on.  
The new SB I have was surprised when I went down on her. She actually gasped even before I started licking. She was not expecting it. And after I came up with my lips and chin soaked in her juices, I got a passionate kiss and a thank you, which surprised me.

My Columbian friend and I had our first BCD meeting today. She is not the young 19 year old spinner I started out hunting, but it was a very nice SB introduction. Met in the bar at a hotel, then took the drinks back to the room.

The nice thing about this woman (who's 36) is that she's experienced enough that there was no shy awkwardness to deal with. I went to use the facilities, came out and she was in bra/panties, with a "Let's get started" look. High, firm breasts, great eyes, long gorgeous hair, very sexy accent, great lips (which she put to very good use).

The sex was, as you noted, not civvie, not hooker either. She would do BBBJ and appreciated DATY, and the BBBJ was brief, and I got the impression that the uncovered aspect limited how much of that we would do. I very much doubt CIM would be on the menu.

Two rounds and she was into it, although not voraciously so. On this point:

" I will most definitely concede that for a married guy with limited time and resources, the Sugar World might not be what you are looking for as what good does it do to find a chick who will spend 6 hours with you for three hundred bucks if you can only get out of the house for a couple of hours at a time. Additionally, some guys don't really like women aside from fucking them, so spending all the time with an SB is a negative, not a positive."

You're spot on. This SB encounter is not much more cost effective than pros, because it's hard for me to get more than 2 hours free time , but I'm one of the guys who not only loves fucking women but also just loves WOMEN, so this encounter was actually very satisfying.  

If nothing else, this shows that SB-ing can work for me, even with time constraints and the small town market I'm in.

I am attached as well, but play in the SBowl very very cautiously and not all the time. I am not seeking high volume in this game - so it works on my end. If you can find the right SB, it can be good and as others have said the chase can be fun and at my age, getting it done with a 20 something is a lot of fun. Just be very careful and try to think with the big brain at all times. If you do your homework, you will get results, just be patient.