This girl keeps telling me that I need to pay her to meet and anything that happens after that is "Separate"  (meaning no down-payment) and that this is protect herself from fakes... I tell her I've been robbed, catfished, flaked on and stood up... whats protecting me from her?  How do I know she's not just cruising around collecting first date allowances and bailing...  She says, "I've never  had a problem, that's just how I do things and its totally on you" I say "Of course you've not had a problem you get paid... but you don't care at all about the problems I've listed and its not totally on me, it on you because I already told you that I'm not doing it and there are 10 girls on here for every guy that will actually show up with money."

Can't you just man up and say "thanks but no thanks" I live in hooker Siberia and I bet you I don't have a tenth of the number of POT SBs to choose from in my small city, but my nutsack is intact.

Because I'm an idiot and I keep thinking I can reason with a con artist.

She's a total waste of your time and energy.  

and tell her that no, it's totally on her, on the things go. Tell her that the best you can do is to put the money in an envelope in front of her when you see her for a private date so she can pick her allowance right at the end of the meet. One SB told that me that she had met this guy who promised her ppm but afterwards made a lame excuse like wallet forgotten and then never came back, so for the start up SB it's understood that they at least need to see the cash.

HAHAHAHAAHAH!  You think so?  I couldn't tell.  Maybe that's why I called her a self-centered gold-digging con-artist and blocked her.  

Unlike escorts who have reviews, and a good back channel for escorts and reviewers, the former really doesn't have much to fall back on.  I'm surprised it works as well as it does.

Ok. Thanks. Take care. Be safe. Bye. Anything beyond that is a waste of time.

Had the same response from a supposedly new SB and she said nearly the same thing. Maybe SA gives them this type of advice in their FAQ for newbie SB's.  

move on. It's that simple.

I get this frequently, and my reply is always that this is a Sugar Daddy/SugarBaby site and that sugar flows from Daddy when the sugar flows from Baby.  I'd be on Match.com if just wanted a dinner companion.

I have never paid for a first meeting. I have also gotten scammed for my first week on SA by some chick who wanted to to buy her videos as a sign of good faith and then ghosted me. It was only 50 bucks so no big deal but it was a good lesson.  

I've had at least one woman refuse to meet for coffee for anything less than $500.  I practically laughed in her face. Then she had the temerity to tell me, "there's only one of me and there's thousands of desperate guys like you".  Maybe she doesn't actually know the SD/SB ratio.  Anyway, I agree that a $50 meet fee doesn't sound so bad but it sets a bad precedent and conveys the wrong tone imo.

I agree.  The total lack of screening in Sugar Dating, in both directions, makes it impossible to judge a person's bona fides in advance.  But this is Sugar Dating, not escorting!  I expect to pay an escort for her time, that's the deal, that's understood upfront.  So if I'm dumb enough to want to pay to watch her eat lunch with me I should expect to pay her for her time.  But in Sugar Dating the rules, such as they are, are different.  I expect both parties to be sufficiently interested in discovering whether they have chemistry to be willing to invest an hour in having lunch or a drink together.  If a girl asks for money just to meet, she's a hooker and should accept the fact and get off SA and start working on TER.

Your post raises some very good points.  EVERY POT SB I have met shared at least one story of being stood up for a date or meet and greet....with some citing several.  I have no doubt that they can get as frustrated with us as we do with them. While I would never pay for a "meet only," I get why some would think that asking for $$$ upfront is a sign of sincerity.  The truth,however, is it is not.  Any guy can set a date, say he will give her $50 for gas money, or whatever, and still stand her up. The one's that ask for money for a meet, to me, either don't think or are greedy.  I know they will say that it is also compensation for the time and money they put into getting ready.  That argument is worse than the first.  Our time, as the guys with the cash in this scenario, is objectively "more valuable" than theirs as it is likely that, on an hourly basis we make WAY more than they do.  Now, don't get me wrong...I have the ultimate respect for their time.  That is why I have never been late, nor have I ever flaked on a meet.  But I can say that 90% of my dates, BCD or strictly meeting and greet, have involved the lady being at least 20 minutes late.  Talk about the thing that really pisses me off...tardiness... But I will save that for another thread.

-- Modified on 1/23/2017 11:56:57 AM

Pay to meet? Never. A lady here in Vegas wanted $200 to just meet for drinks and to eat. I told her no. She has my info and weeks later in the summer she see's my Facebook page and contacts back and says ok I will drop the fee if we can have lunch on the boat (I have a 36' Carver and she saw some party pics) on the lake so I can lay out and tan after. I told her sure, we can do that, I just need you to bring $200 for gas.

Love that.  Awesome.

but he didn't get laid. and isn't that the goal here?

None of that was going to happen. Otherwise I would have surely taken your approach.

"Gas, grass or ass" no one rides for free. lol

I've seen a few saying 'strictly platonic.' Uh, maybe you need to re-read that memo.....but I'm sure some idiot will pay for the privilege of being seen with you - it just won't be me.