Love Goddess have you had any questions from providers who fall in love with clients?  I need to post anonimously for obvious reasons but hope you'll consider my question.
I am, looking at myself honestly, probably a 6/7 in the looks dept.  I never aimed very high when looking for a bf in my regular life just b/c realistically speaking I never thought I could do that well.  I never thought of myself as very sexy.  Smart, cute, well read, passionate, independent... yes, but not typically what the guys go for in the looks area.  
So, enter my life as a very skilled (shocking even myself) provider.  I am starting to meet men who are very handsome, successful and nice, who happen to find me very attractive.  Surprise, surprise!!
Now to my problem.  I'm a year into this business, early thirties, very satisfied with my life up to this point.... single, but enjoying single life.  A couple months ago I set up a typical session with a man. I enjoyed our conversation on the phone but no more than any other potential client.  We set up a date to meet and finally he came over.  LG, this man is the most handsome man I have ever actually seen, much less kissed.
I was so intimidated by his attractiveness that I stammered and clammered about, forgot all about the donation, and was scared to death that he would not like me or my session.  Tripping over my self I finally got around to touching him.  He was sooooo responsive to my touch.  We connected quickly and after we started the physical play, our conversation and everything else was easy and magical.  
It ended with both of us very satisfied and wonderfully happy.  Since then he has visited many other times but now, I'm finding myself longing for him.  I get depressed when he leaves.  I want to ask him a whole bunch of personal questions without spilling the beans that I'm crushing on him in a big way.  
First of all, do you think it's possible for two people to have this amazing connection in this capacity even though in real life we are no where near in the same league?  Secondly, is there any place to go with this?  I mean, have you ever heard of a provider turn one of her clients in to ....  something different, something more.... or, is there something more?  Is there somewhere else this could possibly go?  
It's not that I want to take any action right now, but I'd like to start envisioning something else with him, even though I don't know what that something else could be.
Hope I'm not too confusing on this one.  I also just wanted the guys to know that it goes both ways, really.  It is possible for providers to develop "feelings" in one way or another and actually want things to move in a different direction.

Luvlylady1,

Love Goddess might well feel that you'd be crossing boundaries you shouldn't if you do the following: but my reaction is, why not (a) find out whether or not he's married, and (b) if you feel sure he isn't, just ask him: "How would you feel about changing our relationship?  You could stop paying me, and we could start dating."

Obviously, he'd have to accept your continuing your work (unless you moved on to the next level).  But maybe he respects your line of work, since he's been a participant in it.

As long as you feel you could handle the rejection of a negative answer, maybe it 'never hurts to ask'.  

And, if his answer is no, that may help you to stop continuing to fantasize about him, which would not then be productive of happiness for you.

Does this sound like a practical approach?

Thanks for sharing this with us.  It is good to see that feelings of love can go both ways.

BTW: I know a provider who went out with a client, after he asked her to do so.  The relationship didn't continue for long - but it does happen.  And, in this 'day and age', ladies ask men out - it doesn't always have to be the man asking first...right?

My dear luvlylady1,

Yes, indeed, we have had situations like yours described by providers on this board. It is completely understandable that you should fall for this handsome guy - you didn't just fall for his looks, you also fell for his personality! And the fact that he is the most gorgeous man you've kissed - well, that just feeds the phantasy even more!

Now to your questions:

"Do you think it's possible for two people to have this amazing connection in this capacity even though in real life we are no where near in the same league?"

Yes, it is possible...although it's difficult to really discern if he is feeling what you are feeling. Sometimes, projection gets the best of us. To be absolutely sure, you'll need to muster up the courage to ask him, and hope that he gives you an honest answer.

"Secondly, is there any place to go with this?  I mean, have you ever heard of a provider turn one of her clients in to ....  something different, something more.... or, is there something more?  Is there somewhere else this could possibly go?"

Yes, of course, human history is full of providers and hobbyists who hooked up and shacked up...from Madame de Pompadour and Louis XV in France, to a certain lady who worked for a certain madam during the 80s, and who went on to marry the owner of a major sports team somewhere in the US of A. But will YOUR story with this man go anywhere? Hard to say. Again, you could simply share your feelings with him and watch his reaction. I truly believe it's the only way you'll get an honest answer to your questions. Until then, everything will be speculation on your part - and mine.

Having a swell time in bed while getting paid is great. As to envisioning something else with a man who comes and goes in your life and who hasn't asked YOU to be part of his...well...I'm not sure. Chances are he probably likes this arrangement for whatever reason, but you'll only know when you take a deep breath and ask your questions in a forthright manner.

Something for you to ponder is this: if he gently lets you down, will your crush on him disappear? Will you withdraw next time he calls? Will you feel "used," despite getting paid for your time? Something I'd watch for [egads, here comes the old cynic again] is him "leading you on," getting free time off the clock, and then letting you down. How will you feel then? It's difficult to be clear on one's feelings without viable info. So, the way to get it..is to ask those difficult questions and "spill the beans."

Thank you for sharing with us,
the Love Goddess

How about being honest, and upfront, and taking a risk, and letting him know that you have some feelings! or desires. or visions?
Human nature is not all that predictable, in that
who would ever know how things work.
Men and Women are unique, sure there are the day to day needs, and desires, but then when you delve
into emotions, that is when things can get very
interesting.

In the hobby, as in real life, you and everyone
else needs to remember, We are human, we have emotions, thoughts, desires, and wants and needs.
Just because you are a provider, does not mean that you cannot have feelings, or that you cannot
make your feelings known.
I guess my thoughts on the matter are this.
First off, don't count yourself as only a 6 or 7
in looks, because as you have found out, first hand, there are those men who are going to find you to be much more attractive than what you had felt about yourself.
As well, to a large degree, you have to look at the panorama of things, The wide angle!
Include your personality into the mix, and low and
behold! you go from a 6 or 7 over night, to a 10!

As far a something else, well of course you have to start somewhere, or someone has to take a step
in that direction.
It does not have to be laid out in concrete,
just start something, and then if the results are
favorable, communicate, have fun! and see where
it goes from there.

If you are afraid to live, then you are not living.

Trooper

I've met this awesome guy as a client first.

He was a newbie, curious about escorts, how it works and he found me.

I was his first, we had a great time, he paid me like any other client.

A month later, he contacted me again and our time together was absolutely amazing.

He didn't treat me like an escort...he treated me like a girlfriend, with lots of cuddling, kissing touching and sweet nothings whispered in my ears...I was hooked!

He booked for a hour but our session lasted 5 hours, way into the early hours of the next day. He missed his last train back home and when I asked what he was going to do at 2 am, he told me "sit at the station and wait for the first morning train".

Well, I could not let him sit at the station so I invited him to sleep over.

Needless to say, he undressed real quick and we were glued to each other for the rest of the night and he called sick the next day to stay with me.

When it was time for him to go, he was kind of embarassed, saying "oh I don't have any idea how much I need to give you".

I took his hand and guided him to the door and said "nothing, I don't want to spoil this".

Since then, we've been seeing each other every week...he comes and we go out for dinner & movie or simply order in and just enjoy each others company.

I am in the same frame of mind as you...we are sooo different, he's a great guy, sweet, smart, funny and a fantastic lover - actually the best sex I ever had in years. All that in a good looking package, 15 years younger than me and with so much love to give.

We do not talk about relationships or where "we are going"...we are just enjoying ourselves to the fullest.

I think when we find a person we can have an unbelievable connection, we need to take baby steps and let things develop nice and slow.

My suggestion to you...first, make sure he's not married, has a gf or anyone waiting for him at home.

Find out why he is using escorts, see if there is any patterns on this just being a temporary thing or is a chronic need.

If he is a newbie like my guy, next date keep him longer and when is time to say goodbye, do not accept any money.

That will definitely give him the hint YOU want to see him off the clock...then, wait and see if he contact you again.

If he does, he's yours to grab - but don't go too strong, let him adjust to the situation of being with a woman who sells herself for a living.

Down the line, he will open himself up to what you do and you can compromise and set limits on your sexual activities with others.

I used to be a full service girl, after I started to see him, I am not longer offering intercourse of any kind. I told him and he seemed pleased that I made changes to make him happy, he didn't ask me, I just felt it was time for me to step back and dedicate my body to one man.

Seriously, I don't think about a future together but I will not let this wonderful man pass thru my life like any other "john".

Happiness is priceless to me, I cannot put a price tag on what I found in him.

I wish you luck!



-- Modified on 7/28/2007 7:14:06 PM

If I really clicked with a provider, and thought she felt the same way, I'd likely bring it up.

  I usually book 1 hour sessions, and the first half or so is spent in conversation. If it's someone I've seen before, we talk about anything, even her civie relationships, if she's so inclined. I don't think I'd be any too direct at first, I'd be more likely to work something like 'do you think a provider and client could make it as civies?' Or something like that.

  I'd stick with an hour, just in case the answer was no, if it's yes, then the paid time wouldn't matter anymore.

  Could I actually have a provider as a civie? It's never happened to me, but probably yes. How about continuing to provide? Again, likely yes, but with limited clients. More of a safety thing than anything else, but I don't feel a need to 'own' anyone.

  Until you get each others' feelings out in the open, all you can do is guess. This won't be easy, because you're dealing with the deepest of human emotions, but you can't stand at the crossroads forever.   Best of luck to you!

he evinced a desire to get into your mind as well as your body.

Besides learning whether his life situation is right for more, it is important that he make a move towards you as well.

He may love the fact that you are so interested in him and want to share time togther off the clock, but that may only mean that he finds you to be a very nice person to have sex with (and there's nothing wrong with that) and not much more.

Of course, if he shows a lot of interest in you, is availiable and has no negatives, then it may be the start of a beautiful story.

Otherwise, adopt the attitude that Misty Lips suggests and just enjoy the ride.

It's also a good idea to not move things along faster than they need to.  Who knows?  It may turn out that after a while your feelings will cool (It happens, and there's no sin in that either.) It would be a shame if you zig while he is zagging, if you catch my drift.

One last comment, beauty is only skin deep.  Whether in selecting a long term favorite to have fun with in the hobby, or a SO; a person's charm, wit and character are much more important for enjoying one's time with another.

Hey, thank-you for all of your comments.  I'm so glad to look at all of this from a different perspective, now that I haven't seen him in over a week and my life has gone on.  Great observations everyone.  
I'm realizing that I am not ready at all to move forward with anyone at this point.  I don't think I could ever muster the (whatever it takes) to ask him out, or reveal my true feelings.
I definitely want to be a no drama haven for any of my guys to come and hang with.  It's nice to know I'm normal though.  hee hee, well.. as normal as can be expected.
Thanks again guys.

You will never know how things are going to work out until you tell him how you feel.  One of the first ladies that I ever saw married one of her clients and now they have a new baby girl and are very happy.  Good luck.