t's common that many of us are quick out of the gate; I have heard this from many women as they knowingly smile when guys brag about their stud abilities. It's very common. BTW, younger guys are not immune to this but they have the benefit of short refractory times. IHMO, women “rule” the bedroom; they are made to go the distance and we’re happy they welcome us along for the ride (lol.) I’ve had sessions when I can’t complete and sessions when I can’t hold back and pop multiple times – I haven’t figured it out - as to cause & effect - yet but I generally have no concerns in this area. However, I have some, I hope, helpful thoughts…
Having a limited time frame (appointment) does change the performance/pleasure context. When I can, I go for extended time. For example, if you could repeat throughout a longer time an early release may take on an entirely different complexion for you - it might even be seen as a tribute to your partner's skills and a testament to how aroused you are when you are with her.
I think the current replies to this thread are relevant and important (i.e., age, meds, general health, etc.) I sometimes have a difficult time reaching an O, esp. if it's a very vigorous session. I'm sure that will change as I age – I’m 56. Wanking regularly can decrease the general sensation but it's not a cure when you/re really excited to be with someone for the first time. I suspect many hobbyists play because they like meeting new partners, and the excitement is potentially greatest when with someone for the first time; it's that heady cocktail of meeting an allure stranger that keeps many of us playing. If this helps...I have a quick recovery time, I'm in shape, and have a naughty mind and no meds. Oh, I also watch my alcohol intake; otherwise, I can stay in the game but never make a touchdown ;{. Finding an ATF/regular may also help to take the crazy excitement of being with someone new and allow for a more comfortably paced context...just a thought. We all love our ATFs :}
My 2 cents