GeorgiaGambler = GaGa
One of the two girls who's rent I pay ended poorly, for her, this weekend. For starters, lease is in my name. I pay it, she pays utilities. Requirements for me to consider this, several months of consistency. Great chemsitry, minimum 4 dates a month. In September she slipped and we only had 3. She promised this month to make it up to me but didn't. Only had 1 date. She said she had to see family for emergencies. Almost always a lie at this point. Plus I knew she wasn't close to her family so flying out to see them was a stretch. I told her last weekend we needed to spend a good portion of this weekend together to make up for it. She flaked on Friday. Saturday I went ahead and stopped by. Texted her, she said she was out but her car was parked there and another car was parked in our second parking spot.
I went to the apartment, texted her just before going in that I was going to drop in and look at that drain that was clogged. And, as anyone reading this far can expect, another guy was there. They were on the couch watching TV cuddled. I folded my arms and told her to pack and gtfo. The guy tried puffing his chest out. I said simply, lease is in my name, you two are trespassing. You want to add assault to those charges?
He was early 20s and probably 100 lbs overweight. Guy looked like he shut down every KFC in town at least once a week. I doubt he would have done much in a fight.
She cried for a bit about not having anywhere to go. I pointed to him and said how about the guy you're cheating on me with? Or were you cheating on him with me for the last year? She then cried and was loud about it while she grabbed her clothes. She asked if she can come back later for the rest. Then had the balls to ask me for money for a hotel.
I laughed.
Long story short boys, just like regular dating, the long term keepers are few and far between. I saw this one coming a while ago which is why I put the lid down on it quickly to not drag it out. Second they start flaking they have something on the side going on. Because she sure as hell didn't get a better job or stop shopping so much. Now she's fucked. Already saw her profile pop back up on SA. So those of you in LA, if you find a desperate bleach blonde latina, lmk how it goes!
These are the stories no one wants to experience. You were correct to end the arrangement, of course.
If this were me, the "cheating" wouldn't be my main concern. I never ask for or promise exclusivity, And I consider any cash I provide as "her money" and I have no right or desire to control how she spends it. Her most egregious violations were missing scheduled dates, and fucking some asshat in YOUR apartment. If she had not missed dates and had been banging this guy at his place you would have never known, and I presume never cared.
Sadly, as with most pre-pay, paid rent, or monthly allowance models, the SB finds it all to easy to take the SD for granted. She comes to think of that monthly payment as guaranteed funds and wonders why her SD doesn't step up and do more for entitled pussy. I have lived this type of situation twice.
One had moved in with me; rent was $2800/month and she paid zero plus I gave her a weekly allowance. I came home from work one day and found her fucking her AA sponsor on my couch. (Yeah, there's a lot of fucked up shit to unpack there!). She was out that day. I gave her to the end of the week to get all her stuff and she didn't show up. So it all went into the dumpster.
The second was getting 75% of her rent paid by me, This had been ongoing for about 2 years. There were some missed dates along the way, but I didn't consider them abusive. She asked me for money to go to Vegas for a week to attend a conference on her desired industry. So I paid for her flight, rental car, hotel and conference registration. I won't go into detail how I buster her. It turns out she was in Vegas to see and fuck another guy who was working a different conference for his company. Now as I said, I don't care what she does with "her" money. But this was different. I was happy to fund her career goals and help set her up for ongoing success. But I'd be dammed if I would pay her to fuck some douchey sales rat on my dime!
When she got back, I let her know it was over and that there would be no more rent payments. I never told her why, or that I had busted her. She cried, begged, asked for a reason, promised to be "better," etc. But I just said it was time to move on. I was not about to "train" her on how betray her next SD! As our old mentor GagaGamber (aka GaGa) liked to say: "I will beg for pussy. I will pay for pussy. But I will not beg to pay for pussy!"
After those experiences I will only do PPM.
One idea, netnoy, if you are willing/determined to try a rent pay, or monthly pay model again: Negotiate on the 4x/month model as before but add a provision to deduct for any dates she misses. If you decide to skip a date, no penalties to her, of course. But make it clear that she must show up to get her allowance. And set it up so that you are paying for LAST month, not next month. Not something I ever expect to try, but perhaps a better way to go for those who really want to only pay once a month.
Life is good
The Cat
I still have the apartment and can use it for a fuck pad. When I meet someone at 'my place' it's not really my place. That's why the lease is in my name. Had she been seeing someone I would have found eventually. And shut it down all the same. I'm not paying rent do you can fuck your boyfriend there I'm paying it so you can fuck me there.
I can't guarantee no cheating, I'm not a stalker. And I'm not monogamous with her. Although my main wants me to be she can't put in the time I'd want and she knows it.
Lesson learned here? I should take away from rent for missing dates and be very clear on who is allowed over to the apartment. That will not solve problems. But it's an easy and clear line. You broke it, move out.
These sad experiences as recounted by my fellow brothers are good examples why I will NEVER do allowance. It's a fools errand, in my view, to give a woman an incentivized option to flake out. It's a lose-lose proposition just about always. I am sure there are some sugar relationships based on allowance that work for both parties, and I applaud them. Perhaps over time if trust is established it could work but why invite headaches? With PPM she is incentivized to show up and make an effort. Call it transactional, but cash at the end of the date is always the safest bet.
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