The Erotic Highway
Hi again, mrfisher
As a professional therapist, I don't agree with the premise that "one must face and experience those situations personally to be able to guide."
If that were the case, we wouldn't have any male gynecologists...or female urologists, just as an example. How can a male obstetrician [or a female nulliparous such] "know" what it's like to give birth? How can we treat murderers, rapists and other criminals psychotherapeutically without ever having committed the same acts?
I will give you an even more literal example. I have a few transgender female therapy clients who have transferred to my practice after having had transsexual therapist(s). In those cases, therapeutic discussions revealed that the clients felt "overrun" by the other therapist's opinion and experiences, since she felt that there was only one way to experience transgendered life - hers. This was a therapist who "overidentified" with her clients, and "projected" her own feelings onto her clients.
When we work with clients therapeutically, empathy and understanding of the client's particular emotional processes carry much greater weight than if we the therapists have performed the same actions. In addition, when we work with the same client population over and over again, we gain knowledge of both "process and content." Meaning, we eventually learn the outside mechanics of their actions, but also the meaning behind them.
In this case, it is entirely possible to provide "dynamite responses" without having charged a fee for sexual acts. What my profession demands from me, is that I treat my countertransference and my projections with internal honesty and avoidance of "bad faith" [lying to yourself], in order to understand and empathize with both hobbyists and providers.
And now for some levity: If you twist my arm, I suppose there there's one thing I have in common with FS providers, and that is having put a zillion notches in my bedpost...When I think back on the bounty that was available to a cute, hair shaking, Zeppelin-digging chick in the early, early 70s, it adds up. We used to count'em out loud...now I just wonder why everyone back then was named Mike?
A Whole Lotta Love to you,
the Love Goddess
Dear Andi,
Yes, providers are and have always been included in my patient population. Just like any other clients, some have stayed in therapy for several years; others remained until their immediate treatment issues resolved, and then moved on.
the Love Goddess