now that my divorce is official I am ready to jump into the bowl. So I finally set up a profile and paid for a membership and have been sending PMs like a madman. I’ve finally got a response from an experienced SB  Pot who had a baby six months ago and is dipping her toes back in. I’m little unsure of what to expect but she said she wanted to have lunch followed by some time in a hotel for $500 (seemed reasonable since I am in the DC area). should I have negotiated? Should I book the hotel in advance or can I take her home? Would that be a bad idea? She seems pretty legit from a phone conversation that we had Plus the lunch opportunity to assess any concerns. I know not to give any money upfront until the date is over right? We are scheduled to meet on Thursday which was the only day she claimed she could get a babysitter. Also since this Is more of a date, i’m a little self-conscious and don’t know how much to go all out on being presentable, since that’s not something I would think about for a pro. I mean obviously I will dress nicely and be showered, the question is should I make sure to manscape? also is there something else I should be thinking about that I haven’t mentioned? Thanks in advance!  

You've a hobby history based on your reviews, so it's not like you haven't ever met a stranger with intent of being intimate with her.  Meeting first over lunch/coffee/happy hour is a good thing as all SB's are take one for your own personal team, and you are meeting without benefit of having read reviews.  If the tete-a-tete goes well, then proceed with the BCD.  Be you and dress/groom as you would for any date/get together.   If you are comfortable with inviting her to your home, that's the easiest/most affordable alternative, assuming she is comfortable with that.  I've sometimes been invited to her place too, but most have an excuse for why that can't happen.  Only time I've taken an SB to a hotel was when traveling considerable distance to meet her.  Settle on the gift/expectations before going BCD.  Personally, I've never negotiated with an SB, and I never will.  If what she feels she is worth is out of line with my budget I'll move on.  If she hems and haws about the gift I'll suggest one.  I've yet to be counter offered.  I handle the gift same as I do for a provider date...in an envelope at the appropriate time/place.  I've never gone/never will with an allowance, only PPM.  I will however, give her an idea of the frequency with which I'd like to see her so she can do the math.    

Agree with Liqq63, don't over think it.  One word of advice, get the Hotel or Day use app and wait to book the Hotel until you meet, it will save you $ If you or her don't feel it and proceed to BCD.  Good luck and have fun in the bowl.  

I like the advice already presented. Here are few more thoughts for this and future dates.  

1. Think of this as dating. Seems kind of obvious but it needs to be said. Do what you would if this was a "real" date. Manscaping - recommended. Shave, light cologne, nails trimmed, nice clothes appropriate for the restaurant - yes. Offer to open doors for her, etc. - yes. Be charming and confident, never condescending or rude - yes. IOW, do not treat her like a hooker. Sex may be (almost) guaranteed, but don't act like it is.  

 
2. $500 is probably in range for Metro DC, but I'd say it's on the high side. In general, her 1st offer is going to be buffered up in expectation of you negotiating down to a mutually-agreeable level.  Just remember that how you negotiate is critical. My recommendation: Always come from a position about your budget. Never negotiate about what she is "worth." She is "worth" the sun, moon and stars. Just ask her!  But your budget may only allow you to give her x dollars y times a month.  

 
3. If you don't mind her knowing where you live, and you don't think your neighbors will raise their eyebrows when you start bringing home random 20-ish babes a few times a month (or week!) then go for it. I do take these precautions when a new SB is coming to my home for the 1st time.  
A. Lock all my doors and windows. I lock the door again once she is inside.  
B. Hide my wallet, spare cash, and car keys in separate locations before she arrives.  
C. I keep her allowance in an envelope in an easy-to-reach but not obvious location near my door. When she's ready to leave, I walk her to the door and hand her the envelope.  
D. Have beverages ready to serve - both booze (wine, beer, etc.) and soft drinks/water in sealed bottles. She my be nervous about being drugged, raped, etc. So a sealed bottle of water may be a good choice.  
E. Don't be in a hurry to get naked. Go slow until she sends the vibe.  

 
Please let us know how it all turns out.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

It's Friday already so this might be late, but I just want to add that she is an experienced sugar dater. She knows that you are not. So allow her to gently guide the activities to their natural conclusion.  She knows how this works! Best of luck and let us know how it went.

Well my date went well. The day before she asked for a deposit because her last date flaked on her and she had to pay the babysitter anyway. I negotiated half of what the babysitter needed and she excepted. We met for lunch and then went back to my place. We had a very nice time, she was a little bigger than I had expected but was very self-conscious about it since she said she gained weight during the pregnancy that she still hasn’t taken off. The sex was pretty good and she seem like she was pretty into it, With multiple rounds and not rushing out the door.  She was a lot of fun and I may see her again. It seems like this was much more like an escort experience than I was expecting. Is that true for some of these experienced S bees?

You did well, Mdulce. Congrats on your first foray. You got multiple rounds and no rush and she was pretty into the sex. You didn't get burned on the advance. Put this in the solid win column.

 
It's true that sometimes a SB encounter can seem like an escort encounter. If so, it's likely either because she is/was an escort, and is using the site for escorting, more or less -- or, perhaps it seemed escort-y because she's gone to the site for the same reasons escorts do what they do, only she's just not plugged in to the whole escort world. Or maybe she's just wasn't that into you, as they say. But whatever, you are now inaugurated.

 
Most of the girls I meet on the site are closer to GF than escort. A lot closer. If you want more of the GF type, you may have to qualify them more over dm or text. You'll get more experience quickly.

 
I don't think you need to settle for girls who are fatter than what you want. You may need to get more pics and be more explicit about what you want and what they offer. All of this is more like dating instead of escorting, including your approach.

 
I will say you dodged a bullet on sending the advance. Consider yourself lucky to have even met her after sending the money. Lots of threads here elaborate on that.

Some SB experiences are truly indistinguishable from escort experiences.  I had one last week who I've mentioned recently who just wants to get laid, get paid, and get out.   But normally my SB experiences are quite unlike those with an escort.  We develop a real rapport and an emotional connection over time.  We are interested in each other's lives.  We hang out naked after the sex and talk about life and how everything is going.  We go out for long enjoyable lunch dates after the BCD time.  Sometimes we go for motorcycle rides together. We become friends.  This is unlike any escort relationships I've ever had.

I agree.  The mix of SB experiences that I've had range from the exactly like a pro date on one end of a spectrum, to the girl next door date with social time on the other end of the spectrum, with varying shades in between.  Usually, but not always, when she throws out an expectation (as in how much), she is an experienced SB or has dabbled in SW to one degree or another.  Usually, but not always, when she is eager to go BCD without an M&G first, she again is an experienced SB who understands the dynamics, or is a SW to some degree.  Some will go to great lengths to try to distance themselves from SW, while others haven't a clue that there may be SWers posting on the same site.  Sugar dating is truly a unique experience almost every single encounter, and the rewards can be exhilarating.  

So nicely put, there's nothing I could add...well, about the fatties showing up - I've just resigned myself to the fact the girl that shows up at the doorstep is going to be 10+ lbs over anything her photo(s) portrayed!  Why I posted the thread about how "normal" girls are fat.  lol

Repeating what I said a few days earlier to another poster:

You want to decide what YOU are looking for in the Bowl. As explained, there are a range of women out there seeking anything from marriage to quick boinks. Some want you to take them on luxury trips or give them tuition. Some want "platonic" dates or want to sell nude pix. There are dom-sub girls, duos, couples, etc etc.  
This is an advantage in some ways since you can get a different kind of experience. But decide if you want this to be an extension of the hobby (GFE with no commitment), a rotation of babes on a regular basis (that seems to be popular on this forum) or a long-term sugar 'relationship' which could be exclusive or non-exclusive.
Knowing what you want can help you sort through the profiles. The filters like "no strings attached" and "friends" (which was modified from friends with benefits are clues but the girls don't always use them accurately