Hello LG,

I am admittedly writing this under an alias to protect the identity of the person I'm referring to because she's listed as one of my reviews.

I had a great visit with a provider in the past few months and we connected on a personal and physical level.  We had a lot of fun during the session and our conversation flowed smoothly.  At the end of the appointment, she mentioned something about getting together for dinner sometime.  I figured she meant for a dinner date or something like that.  I didn't think anything of it because I've had providers offer that in the past, but as part of a service, so I figured this was the same type of offer.

Then, about a week later, I get an email from her (she must have gotten it from her agency) asking if I was still interested in getting dinner and she sent her cell phone number.  I responded saying that I didn't think I was interested in a dinner date appointment and she responded that this wouldn't be an appointment, but just a chance for us to hang out.  I didn't respond right away because I was kind of stunned, to be honest.

Then, the next day, she emailed me again and asked if I wanted to get together for some drinks ("something more casual", in her words) if dinner wasn't going to happen.

I responded that I could probably swing that, but I'd have to get back to her as to when.  I'm really conflicted here.  I am married (which she knows) and I love my wife.  This woman is very pretty, fun, sexy, etc. but even if I were single, I don't think I could pursue a relationship with her.  And, I don't think I have time in my life for any new friends.  I guess this one really came out of left field and I don't know what to do.  

Now, I know it sounds like I'm making a huge assumption here about her intentions, but why else would she contact me about getting dinner and hanging out?  Also, I enjoyed our appointment and I planned on meeting with her again, but now it seems out of the question if there are feelings involved.  Am I reading too much into this?  Could you offer some suggestions on how to handle this?

Do you enjoy hers?

If so, there is no harm in having a social relationship, as long as you both are very open and up front about it.

If, on the other hand, you perceive an agenda that is not to your liking, then simply decline her offer and state that you'd prefer your time with her to be "on the clock".  You don't owe any explanations.

She will either accept that and you'll continue to have a fine time with her in the client/provider mode; or she'll be wanting to get answers as to why not, in which case I think you should cut off contact as that is a bad sign.

No problem, Girls_For_Breakfast,

Handle it like you would any other woman who comes on to you and where you have to make a decision as to whether you should act on it or leave it alone.

Since there may be no financial side to her invitation, it will be no different than having had a one-night stand and then getting 'that call' afterwards to continue matters....just like in Fatal Attraction, the Reaganomic version of what happens to guys who just can't keep their peckers in their pants

In all seriousness, however, just be a big boy and tell her exactly what you stated here. That you love your wife and that you are not willing to go beyond the stipulated arrangements. On the other hand, I'm sure it's very flattering...but that doesn't mean that you need to act on it if you don't want to...and it seems you don't, so there it is.

As to her intentions, who cares? I don't mean that in a callous sort of way, but just that her intentions are immaterial, since you have made up your mind not to have non-paid relationships outside of your marriage.

And of course, if she's just fishing for more business, then it's up to you to decide if you want to pony up more dollars for more entertainment. Here's just my not-so-humble opinion, though: dialing for dollars is never a classy thing to do. I oppose that just as much as I oppose someone cold-calling me, sending me junk mail with offers, hard-selling me on something in a store, etc. It's just not elegant, even if it may be effective sometimes. So if she is as lovely as you say, then it's possible she wants you on a personal level.

My final advice: be very honest. Tell her that you'd love to meet her on a paid basis. Also, I don't know what type of arrangement you have with your agency [or the kind of deal she has with them] but it strikes me as unusual that a madam would give out a client's email to her worker. So if you really want to stay out of it, let her know that in the future, you'll just book her through the agency, and that's it.  

Now what was it Charlie Sheen said - I pay them to leave, not to stay? I guess sometimes the shoe's just on the other foot...
the Love Goddess

Honestly, I don't KNOW what to tell you.  I do have clients who I would definitely enjoy chilling with on a friendly basis... and I have done just that... but I cannot know her motivations, y'know?  I say, give it a chance, hang out with her once if you can, and OPENLY let her know the nature of your relationship with her, and where that will and will not go.  I think open communication is key here!

I have heard of this situations before, one in Seattle and one in Las Vegas of the 2 providers I know.  They did get involved with married men.  Sometimes a married man gets so wrapped up with a woman that she is so beautiful and every man's dream.  He did divorced his wife and marry her.  Well, that marriage did not last very long.  The Divorce got very ugly! This woman continues her business.

The other married man that got involved with a provider, they have been seeing each other for long time, he did divorced his wife and he married the long time provider.  They are still married and she is no longer in the business.

Now, if this woman gets your email somehow without your permission, that is so wrong, only you can provide that.  She is very sneaking to do that, because she can get all the information about the client, which that is one way to blackmail a client if she does not gets her way.  That had happened to another provider I know from Seattle, because she got pissed off at him, knowing he was a married man, she called him at his house and his wife answered it.  Somehow, his marriage got saved and she was banned from the site.  The reasons I know these things, I have friends that are clients and providers that we help each other in anyway we can to protect each other.  I am not new, I was in from 1998 to 2002 (Seattle and Boston)then retired due to the move.  Then I just came back from 2007 to present(Boston and Seattle) and I still keep in touch with all of my special friends.  So, please, as much as you like her and have fun with her and she is beautiful, stay away from her, she is trouble, that is a sign of her getting some action.  So, save yourself and your marriage. It is not worth the headaches.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Missy

This looks dangerous, like she wants an off the clock relationship.  If she's lonely, that's her problem not yours.  Consider not seeing her at all.  Sometimes stalkers go the other way too.

Far Away from this. If you love your wife like you say you do then you need to avoid this lady at all costs. #1 Rule...Never fall for a married man.

End Of Opinion

so I say get together with her for a couple of drinks or coffee and see if there's a possibility of a friendship. You might find that's all she wants.

Kudos to the young lady for having the cojones to be the one to pursue whatever relationship there might possibly be.

Getting your email like that is a sign that she doesn't respect boundaries, you could also be in a position to be blackmailed and/or caught out in public.

I adore my clients some more than others & have allowed the married ones to hang out at my house for longer than the appointed time because we're having fun, etc. & have asked a single one to join me & my girlfriends for cocktails/dinner because he's fun, hot & we had a great table at a place I knew he'd appreciate.

But you need to shut that shite down & FAST!!
It's wonky, lol!

I do agree with Rae Monroe, she is right, it does not make any sense if she keeps bugging him, I don't think, that is want she wants from my own experience, she wants more than that.  She has no respect of him being a married man.  Please stay away from you, otherwise you are playing with fire.  This woman is not stupid, she knows what she is doing, especially knowing you are a married man.  This lady had no class.

Missy

Thanks Brennan,
I hope more people like you will listen, it is very stories.  Please listen and being safe is more important, then being in a mess in your life.  I would like to meet you Brennan if that is okay with you.  Drop me a line.  I am only doing this to help everybody as much as I can.

Missy

Unless you are ready to lose your marriage, listen to the wise Missy and Brennan.  It is flattering and may be great fun, but it will turn out badly.  The fantasy, of course, is a great friendship well within limits with you as her secret wonderful side friend,  This is most unlikely.  More likely is that you will get involved emotionally and it will begin to interfere with your marriage.  
The fantasy is close to irresistible though.

Thanks Dr.Joe, I am sure we both appreciated of you agreeing with us.  Especially you being a man.  Yes, once you get involved with a provider and it is hard to get out of it, it can ruin your marriage and possible to get busted too, she can claim that a man offered her money for sex.  Protect yourself gentlemen, this is no games. This is for real.  This had happened to one of several clients of mine in the past and some of my friends that are providers in the past as well.  If you don't care about this, you are taking a very dangerous risk and possible to get busted as well. I know lots of tricks that I have learned from the providers and clients who have been busted.  Plus my own secrets as well. Believe it or not, I am not a shame to say this, but I am partially deaf and I never ever been busted in my life and I know how to be careful in the situations like this.

Missy

Thank you all for your advice.  I will admit I was tempted to call her and go to dinner and drinks or whatever to see what would happen.  I briefly fantasized about having a hot girlfriend along with my wife and being able to keep both separate, but that so rarely works out.  I think this is something men typically do.  We want to see how far we can take it, have it both ways, and then are dumbfounded when something inevitably blows up in our faces.

I sent her a polite but firm email stating that I didn't think it would be a good idea to see her outside of the agency she works for, but I haven't gotten a response back yet.  Many of you warned that I should stay away, and I took that advice and I am happy I did.  I really don't know what would have happened, but I didn't want to risk what I have now.

Thanks again, especially to the providers who posted because your insight was what ultimately influenced my decision.

PULEEZE, take it from someone that knows, this can only produce disastrous results.

Please email me, I have other options to help you out.

Missy

wedding band or a Wedding band line watch it!

After the first couple of sessions with my ATF, I was the one who first suggested a dinner off the clock. She accepted and it was wonderful. Since then, it's almost routine, now that we grab a bite, together after a session. I am married and she claims to have a boyfriend. The average time we are together is 4-5 hours, with only one of those hours being on the clock.

Sorry Missy, but if I email you, then you'll see my real handle, and I don't want to give away her identity.  If you want to email me on my personal email, it is:

[email protected]

Thanks for the help.

Sounds like a chance at a nice adventure for you if you are up for it. What may happen is anybodys guess.

This just sounds messy. I can understand may getting a bite to eat after a session if your both hungry.   Or maybe some kind of quid pro quo like you drive her to the airport after a session.  The sad truth is that we are not paying to sex/companionship.  But rather we are paying for out companions to go away until we call them again, or to go away between "scheduled meetings".  This is what you signed up for when you started right.  There is a difference between hanging around to enjoy the afterglo, or engaging in extented foreplay at dinner and just have dinner or drinks for now other purpose.  In my mind, at this point you are starting a slippery slope.  Most of us her understand "bootycall" as an acceptible part of a marriage, but you are moving into an emotional affair.  Eveything at home will get much more difficult.