A girl I've been seeing every few weeks for a while now opened up to me about her last SD/boyfriend and how he messed up her head.

He bought her a car, paid her bills, boob job, vacations.  She said he was giving her about 8k a month.  At first it seemed like the perfect guy.  Wealthy, fun. Took care of her.

But then he went the road we all expect to hear.  He got more demanding of her time.  She has to quit school because he would demand she show up whenever he wanted.  No respect for her life.  He even made her sign a form allowing him to film and he owns the rights to it.  She has no idea if he's out any of it out there.  

She left him after getting fed up.  Now she's banned on SA because he reported her as an escort.

She loves hanging out with me.  The fact that I respect her going back to school.  I don't mind a simple ppm.  She is a wonderful person.  Shame she's going to be emotionally scarred forever it seems.  She does deserve better.

As far as the two of us, it'll stay this way for a little longer.  I already told her once she graduates and moved on to a career she needs to leave sugaring behind completely and focus just on herself.  We definitely will stay friends.

In addition to my sugar dating activities, I am also part of our local polyamory community and have identified as poly/ENM for many years.  In that community it's commonly accepted to have multiple intimate relationships, each one designed by the participants to best meet their needs.  Rarely is there any exchange of money involved. Netnoy, once your girl graduates and moves on to a career, she may very well leave sugaring behind.  But if you remain friends, and if you play your cards right, you just might remain friends with benefits.

She's gorgeous.  Both inside and out.  But, if I'm going to really be a friend to her, she needs to leave sex behind for a long time.  She has a lot that she needs to process and heal from.  Spending time with me does help.  Being around a guy who respects her.  But, I've seen this before and she really just needs time being single so she can find out what does make her happy.  I may turn out after that she will want to come back and revisit a FWB relationship with me.  But I want her to be clear of the past.

Sucks to have to say goodbye to great sex.  I would not feel right if I knew she needed something different but still was hooking up with her.

It's great that you care about her well-being so much.  I've mentioned respect before, and that's what it's all about.  My long term goal, which informs my actions here and now, is that in the future, many years from now, when my SB looks back on this time in her life she'll think of me fondly.  And she'll think, "I was so lucky to meet such a nice, caring man at that time in my life".   Sometimes that does mean giving them time to process and heal. Yesterday I had a lovely platonic visit with a SB I dated pre-pandemic.  We've stayed on excellent terms, so of course I was wondering if we could begin our arrangement again.  But she's just getting over a harsh breakup w/ her live-in BF, so I'm gonna give her all the emotional support I can, and let her make the first move if she ever wants to do so.  I like the man in the mirror, he's a good dude, and I never want to feel any different!

I'm sorry Netnoy but I having a hard time understanding this one.  The SD was giving her an allowance of $100K per year.  I assume this was tax-free so it probably is equivalent to $125K per year.  For this amount of allowance, I think any SD in his right mind would demand a lot of attention and time from the SB.  I think if you or Herb offered a SB $125K/year there would be a line extending for multiple blocks around your residence.  I also don't understand what psychological damage she incurred.  There are lots of people in civilian jobs that make less than 125K per year who have bosses that are extremely demanding.  Some might but the overwhelming majority don't suffer mental damage and just move on with their lives.  Also, please tone down the chivalrous bullshit.

Not sure why you had to get hostile at the end there dude.  There is nothing wrong with wanting the people we meet in life to be happy and successful.  It does not mean I have to be part of it.

Paying $100k per year is a lot.  It does not excuse abuse.  

I think his girl was quoting pesos, which the story alot more creditable.  

Just curious Euro-Guy and anyone else that wishes to comment.  If you were to shell out $125k/year for a SB what would be you expectations in terms of time spent.

Let's not miss the main point, please. Pesos or dollars, the issue is SD's who offer significantly huge allowances, say over $2,500 USD a month will generally have a high expectation on her time and attention beyond any 1x, 2x, 4x a moth date schedule.  And far too often, those SD's who can afford to pay in that range manifest that high expectation in rather toxic ways.  

 
I advise my SB's that they need to be careful of these guys, no matter how good the allowance sounds. And when I meet a POT who claims a past SD was paying that much or more, they almost always note that it ended when the guy started unreasonable or uncomfortable demands like available at all times, forced threesomes, forced booze or drug use, abusive language or abusive and unwelcome sex behaviors.  I don't like seeing anyone put under that type of pressure or abuse.  But it does make my much more humble offer seem reasonable when I assure her that her time and business between our scheduled dates is just that, hers.  

 
I will note that I have known some women (One that I went to high school with) who actively look for annual contracts (I mean real legal docs for "companionship") with a very rich execs, athletes, or celebrity (let's call this "Heffer Style").  The gal from my high school was getting these at $100k a year back in the early 80's!  

 
My observation is that most SD's in Seeking or similar sites are just not in that range, or even if they have that kind of stack, they don't use it that way.  And there are other sites aimed at the very affluent men (say $1m+ annual income) who want an arranged/brokered contracted companion. These guys get concierge-level service to schedule pre-screened candidates for "interviews."  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Lol!  I wish!  I'd pick her up in a heartbeat if that were the case.