I recently heard dreadful stories from 3 Sugar Babies who suffered as a consequence of getting involved in Sugar Dating. One was scammed out of a significant sum of money, another barely managed to escape a dangerous SD by macing him and fleeing, and the third, sadly was raped and became pregnant as a result. And I suspect many of the men have been scammed to some extent as well.

I was discussing these things with my awesome wife today.  She has always criticized Sugar Dating for its lack of screening or any meaningful safety net and feels like the women are taking bigger risks than they know, as are we..  She felt much more comfortable about my activities back when I was only dating TER reviewed pros, back when TER offered reviews, White List, etc.  

So we brainstormed for a while, trying to figure out how SA could possibly adopt some sort of method for the men to learn in advance if the SB was a safe honorable person to date, and even more importantly, so that the women could learn in advance if the SD was a safe gentleman to date.  We came up empty.

Every idea we discussed had some severe shortcomings.  We thought about adding reviews, adding White lists, and other schemes, all of which failed miserably.  In order to work, any such safety scheme would have to at the very least pass the following three tests:

1. It would have to actually provide a meaningful improvement in safety.
2. It would have to be dependable and not easy to "game".  
3. It would need to fly under the radar and be unlikely to raise red flags and attract the Nanny State's attention.

Guys and gals, we all  want to enjoy our lives and I think we all play as safely as we can.  But I keep thinking we are missing something.  Maybe some of the creative minds here can come up with ideas I haven't thought of.  I hate to think that the lovely young women I enjoy dating are taking substantial risks by being on SA.

means of establishing review sites for the Sugar Bowl, but the best that can be hoped for is some kind of DNS registry of the sort that the escort world has had for some years.

They are not perfect, but it's something.

This board could also serve that purpose if TER will allow naming names.

and considering the inability of people, the guys especially, to keep their big fucking mouths shut where it comes to giving out details that would end the Sugar World as we know it, it would be a good thing if we all stopped trying look to others to make us safe and simply use our common sense where it comes to mitigating risk.

 
For the guys it's pretty simple. Never send money in advance, meet in public first, and don't rendezvous in high crime areas, or cheap motels booked in advance by your POT SB. Pretty much the same safeguards you would want to use in the old CL days, with the exception of meeting in public. Not carrying excess amounts of cash and leaving your Rolex at home on the first date is probably also wise. (BTW, this is a "do as I say, not as I do" kind of post. I have skipped the public date portion of my advice many times without incident personally)

 
For the girls it's not quite as simple. Besides not giving out their bank information, the most common scam, the ladies are always going to be faced with the prospect of being alone with someone much bigger and stronger than themselves. SB's should always insist on meeting in public first, even if they agree to going BCD twenty minutes later, at least this way they will have been seen with their SD in case things go south. Secondly, and I know their is going to be a lot of pushback from the married guys here, but if I were an SB I would demand "real" information before being alone with a guy and lastly these girls need to have at least one trusted friend who ALWAYS know where she is and who she is with, and she should "check in" with this friend so they can send in the calvary in case it's needed.

 
Personally as a single guy, I really don't feel like I am taking a whole lot of risk. I NEVER send so much as a nickel in advance, I am street smart enough not to allow myself to be lured into some back alley or seedy motel where I am likely to be rolled, as far as I am concerned my biggest risk is buying a few drinks or a meal for someone I don't hit it off with or am not physically attracted to. That's a risk I am more than willing to accept. I fully agree that the girls are taking a much bigger risk, but a little common sense (and standing firm on these things) will go a long ways.

 
One last suggestion for the girls. There is nothing at all wrong with taking a selfie of the two of you together before leaving to go BCD and then forwarding it to a trusted friend, if the guy asks what you are doing just say it's so the cops know who to look for if your body turns up in the river the next morning. lol

These are all great ideas.  I just wish everyone had more common sense.  Seems pretty uncommon sometimes.  The girl I mentioned who got raped had a nice dinner with the perp first in a public place.  He seemed really nice.  Did she take his photo, copy his ID, let a trusted friend know where she was?  NO, no, and no.  When he invited her back to his house she really should have said maybe next time, but she went with him.  Once BCD his demeanor totally changed.  I was surprised  by this story because I know this girl pretty well, we've been dating for over a year. I would have said she had plenty of street smarts.  But she needed the money and therein lies the problem.  Sometimes you don't listen to your own better judgement when you are horny or in need.

Of course,  GaGa and I share similar points of view. I have had offers from SB's to come directly to my home for BCD and I resist these, especially when she want to see me TODAY. I've gone so far as to have her meet me at a fast food place 2 blocks from my place. Then I get there 30 minutes early to "scope out" the place, traffic, etc.  Of course, this increases my NSNC rate, but that's an acceptable risk.   I always provide my full name, and even my LinkedIn profile when asked (after I've met or at least vetted her) and often insist that she take that info and look me up before we go BCD.  
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I am disappointed at the number of POT SB's I meet who do no verification at all; no google image search, no phone number look up, no additional personal info requested from me, etc. I generally find myself teaching them about these simple techniques. Perhaps that builds trust...?  
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Finally, I find myself wondering (again) about the Millennial/Tinder generation that provides most of the POT SB's we see.  If they've been hooking up on Tinder, they see this as just an extension of that with the added benefit of sugar.  This generation is widely defined as the "instant gratification - right now - free add ons" group.  They look for an app to provide for all needs and don't care about "how the sausage is made" under the user interface.  
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So I think it will continue to fall on the shoulders of the SD's and SB's to do their own due diligence.  Not blaming your friend for being a victim - that rapist deserves the worst legal penalties available. The question for me is not how to build a third party system to ensure safety, but how to educate and train participants on how to improve their own safety, then make it standard practice.

You can never eliminate ALL the risk, but these girls can let the guys they date know (in a tactful manner of course) that at least "someone" knows where they are at all times and that they also know who they are with. It might give a guy like that guy pause before committing a criminal act that could (and should) land him in prison for decades.

 
In her defense, waiting until "next time" most likely would not have made any difference, he still would have been a predator a day or even a week later. Short of having Guido sitting outside the front door in case things go south there isn't a lot that can be done to stop this kind of thing, but the girls can make sure the predators know they aren't simply going to "get away with it".

No matter how sweet and the chemistry with a SB, 1/3 of SB's lie, and once I had one that I had seen several times and thought we get along help herself to my wallet!  I ended that quickly.  SB's tend to also be naive and have told me that guys often won't pay them after promising some sugar or are insulting and rough with them.  Unfortunately, I think that is how it goes in the land of sex workers.

A first caution bell sounded when I read "raped and pregnant" which is a time worn excuse for accidentally getting pregnant, not taking responsibility and not naming the father (if known.)  A second caution bell sounded when she claimed she was raped at his house.  This is not a normal rapist pattern (unless you are Harvey Weinstein) as it allows instant identification and arrest. So I am saying, hmmmm.

I had one SB last year who I kept trying to have her meet me in public.  She just wanted me to swing by and pick her up.  I said she shouldn't do stuff like that, meet first in public.  Eventually she wore me out, so I picked her up, took her someplace and took her home.  But I told her again on dropping her off that she shouldn't do stuff like that.

I got the scam the other day of someone of a city away from Minneapolis by about four hour drive to send her $200 so she could come down and spend time with me.  I said I don't send money to strangers.  So she said send $100.  I said come on down and I will give you the $200.   Haven't heard from "her" since.

That's not very nice of you, but yeah I have to agree that one has me going hmmmmm too.

 
Women have been claiming rape to explain unwanted pregnancies since before Mary claimed to be having God's child.

 
Even if he doesn't get arrested and prosecuted he is certainly on the hook for 18 years of child support.  I often hear horror stories from both hookers and SB's regarding the johns/SD's that they have seen before me, some of them I believe, others I take with a HUGE grain of salt.