attempt an analysis.

I will say that as a man, having been married and also a client of providers; my experience was very similar to yours, in a looking-glass sort of way.

I eagerly await LG's take on this.

Well AngieMN,

This taps into some very universal themes, meaning:

1. Forbidden fruit always tastes better

2. Familiarity breeds contempt

There really is no way around it. You may also be one of those women whose PEA (phenylethylalanine) neurotransmitters fire on all cylinders when you're with someone new - for about 1.5-max 2 years or so. Then the juice is gone and the dregs are left. Don't worry, some people are just wired this way...but it's hell maintaining a long-term sexual relationship. Trust me, I speak from experience on this one *wink.

However, the "whore" aspect is most likely related to the inauthenticity in your relationship. It has less to do with the fact that he doesn't know of your part-time occupation, than it has to do with the fact that you no longer are "into" him sexually and must "perform" to keep up appearances. Paradoxically, you can "let yourself go" with clients, since you are not emotionally invested in them and the bloom hasn't fallen off the relationship, so to speak.

I'm not going to advise you on what to do - only tell you that if you're in the category of women who need to move on sexualy every couple of years to keep your internal fires going, then you're in the right profession. If you are trying to become a dutiful wife, however, you may be in for a surprise.

It'll all be over when you stop ovulating some time in your late 40s-early 50s - make sure you have a nice husband to keep your emotions warm and toasty into old age,
The Love Goddess

Hello Love Goddess,

I am a very part time provider. I am also a small business owner. Six years ago I hired a man to work for my company.  He is 9 years younger than myself.  Within a few months of his employment we were having an affair.  Both of us, married to our respective spouses at the time.  Once the affair started, I left my husband & within, 3 years he left his wife for me.  We live together & work together.  I loved having sex with him as often as possible. Sex with him is just not as satisfying as it one was.  It seems to have become completely about him.  It feels like I am "performing" when I am with him.   & now.. I am confused as to why it is that sexually, I feel more like a Girlfriend when I am with the Gentlemen I see and I feel like a whore when I am with him. He does not know of my "part time occupation".  Thank you for you input.