First off, there are books on this subject and if you send me a PM I'll give you a title. I don't want to appear to be shilling for this author since I've recommended another title of hers before. Now to the good stuff.
Anyone can learn to prolong sex or have male multiple orgasms. Aside from the prerequisite strengthening of the PC muscle, which provides the basic means (or the "how"), you need to learn your body's pattern of arousal so you can time the "when." By that I mean that you need to familiarize yourself with your body's signals that indicate your arousal level- your rate of breathing or the firmness of your erection, for example .
Sex experts usually teach the male multiple orgasm technique by starting with some "peaking and plateauing" exercises. These are simple techniques to help you recognize your arousal as it builds through sexual stimulation. Roughly speaking, on a scale of 1-10, an arousal level of 1 would be an un-aroused state (i.e. flaccid penis) and a 10 would be maximum arousal, and probably an ejaculation. But there's really a level just before ejaculation which you need to learn to recognize, because it might be more properly called the true "10." And that's because once you've reached it, it's there's no turning back- you're going to cum. It's called the "point of inevitability," but most of us know it as the moment you say "Oh, shit, I'm going to cum!" It's the point about 5 or 6 seconds before you actually ejaculate when you know you're going to have an orgasm and there's nothing you can do to stop it- all you can do is go for it and head for the finish line.
Since an orgasm is characterized by the spasming of the PC muscle (to propel the semen), learning to recognize that point is very important in using the PC squeeze technique, because you want to learn to approach it, but not go past it.
Once you've gotten good at recognizing this point, you can just slow down the action until your arousal naturally subsides. But if you get a little close, say a level 8, and need to calm down, you can also use the PC muscle to calm things down by giving it a good squeeze and holding for 7 or 8 seconds just before you reach that arousal level. In that way you can stop the arousal that's building to an orgasm, allow your arousal level to subside (back to a plateau), and in a few moments, continue on. With practice, you can do this over and over- you're surfing the wave of sexual arousal.
Practicing the 1-10 arousal thing isn't as hard as it sounds and you can even do much of it while masturbating. As you feel your arousal building, slow down or stop whatever you're doing so that you can go from an 8 or 9, back down to a 5 or a 6. It usually only takes 20 or 30 seconds for that to happen, but there are no set rules because it depends on the person and how aroused they are.
If you have an understanding partner, you can do this exercise with her, but you need to let her in on what you're doing, at least while you're learning, so she won't get frustrated or angry. A wife or regular partner may be willing to help, but this isn't something you can do on a date, for obvious reasons.
Fortunately, you can get pretty good through masturbation, but eventually, you need the real thing. And when that time comes you need to ask your partner for her cooperation, because it isn't "making love." Rather, she'll be letting you use her body and sexuality to teach you to better understand your body and sexuality. I know that's not very romantic, but, there's no reason it can't end in a very satisfying way for both partners when class is dismissed!
Let's face it, the biggest reason we aren't all great lovers is we don't have access to the equipment. It's like tying to learn to play basketball, but only getting your hands on a ball during a real game- it would be a tough way to learn. And the situation is far worse for men because women are more likely to equate sex with love, or making love. By comparison, if a woman asked a guy if she could practice her oral sex techniques on him, we all know there's only one answer a man would give, and it has nothing to do with love or being taken out to dinner first. So, admittedly, it can be difficult to practice in real life.
Another thing left out of the original post is that it's very important to learn to relax the PC muscle while having sex. Some people tend to unconsciously hold in a lot of tension during sex and are squeezing the PC muscle tightly without realizing it. This is bad because it can constrict blood flow to the penis and weaken an erection. And while it may seem counter-intuitive, it actually makes you more likely to have an unintended orgasm. This is another reason why you need practice to recognize the difference between a relaxed PC and a contracted PC muscle- especially in the heat of battle.
Now, I realize that all this may sound like a lot of stuff to do while you're having sex, but once you learn the technique, you'd be surprised how seamless it can all become. It's far easier to do it than to write about it.
For example, when I'm getting too aroused, sometimes I just make a leisurely position change, say from missionary to doggie, taking some extra time in the process, maybe with some light kissing on her neck or back. She doesn't even know my true reason is to slow down the pace of my arousal. If I'm too aroused even for that, I might momentarily stop all together until I feel my arousal drop down to a safe level. I might say I've got to catch my breath, or I might even tell my partner she's turning me on so much that I've got to calm down for a minute. She won't be insulted.
Just remember, if you make a mistake and cum when you weren't expecting to that it's no big deal. It's just sex, after all, not boot camp- just go with it. But you'll soon start to get the hang of it and once you do you'll be in control in ways you never imagined possible.
As an aside, I tried some of the other squeeze techniques when I was married and never had any success with them, though others may be more fortunate. But I think the PC technique will work for anybody. And in case I didn't mention it in the original linked post, you do maintain your erection after each orgasm, if you've first stopped the ejaculation by squeezing the PC muscle and stopping the flow of semen. Just remember, after you've had your fun, finish with a final big orgasm AND ejaculation.
-- Modified on 5/22/2008 11:59:26 PM
