Dear Love Goddess,

I got another one for you and I think it relates to performance anxiety.  

Have always fantasized about greek and about two years ago began indulging in it.  Liked it and do it whenever the opportunity arises.  But something happened.  I can trace it to two events I think. First was an instance about eight months ago where the lady allowed it but I lost my erection for the first time I recall in a session and never got there.  Second time, a lady invited me in and, let's just say, the adventure was not as completey hygienic as I was expecting.  Nothing gross and didn't really bother me.  What I noticed though was after that second occurence, I can be hard as a log but as soon as a lady gives me permission for greek and lubes up, I tend to go limp and can't get it up or in.  This was over the summer.  And since then, it's still the same.  Of the five or six providers who allow greek and I've seen since, only once was I able to stay hard enough to partake in it.  

Am I putting to much pressure on myself to partake in greek?  

thanks, confused (and embarrased)

Indeed, reallynotsecure,
I do believe you are suffering from performance anxiety. Taking trips to Greek islands can cause some apprehension, for obvious reasons. If you want to pursue your travels, I'd suggest the following:

1. Try it with a lady you've seen at least a few times before, and with whom you have a comfort level beyond just the old in-and-out;

2. Once that happens, make sure she's all lubed up and into it, and not just doing it for the ratings, so to speak. This means that you both need to take your time and make that time feel and appear as sensual as possible. Lots of lube, go very slowly [you may be carrying a big stick, LOL] and try not to force things if something clamps up in there.

The other thing is, going Greek is not for everyone, or everyone would be doing it. Maybe it's just not for you? And if that's the case, why fret over it? There are so many other interesting body parts that can get all sexed up and sexed out.

Here's hoping your future travels will be nice, slow and pleasant,
the Love Goddess

Thanks for the advice.  I'll be honest, I enjoy it for reasons I won't delve into here.  And after I first tried it, I've had no apprehension about traveling their again.  

Even disregarding the second experience I described, my disappointment was from the first experience I mentioned, about 8 months ago.  I think the problem was I built it up in my head that I had only one ultimate goal.  And when the moment came, I lost my erection and it embarrassed the hell out of me.  Same thing happened again with the same woman during the summer.  Even more embarrasing, so in hindsight maybe that second encounter I mentioned had nothing to do with it.

Regardless though, I will try your advice.  And if I realize greek isn't for me, I will stop freting about it as that is honestly what I have been doing. Thanks again.

" What I noticed though was after that second occurence, I can be hard as a log but as soon as a lady gives me permission for greek and lubes up, I tend to go limp and can't get it up or in."

This is EXACTLY how I've been feeling the last two times. Thanks for not making feel like I'm the only one.

I have problems maintaining my erection even with Viagra.   I don't often do Greek, but when I do it I do it CG style.  That is much easier for those of us with erection problems.

Hi kids - I haven't been in this forum for awhile,  but maybe I can help. Being  a TS sort of makes me an "expert" on greek.  Giggle.

Erections as we all know, are a result of sexual and emotional arousal.  You get rock hard when you are with your SO (I hope) or in anticipation of a hot time with a new provider.  But when you hop into bed the emotional involvement may not be enough to keep things up after the initial effect wears off.

Trying to "force" things usually only makes it worse as your brain is concentrating on performance and not the passion necessary for errection.

Greek is "tighter" than vaginal sex.  (So you guys who haven't yet crossed over to my side of the line don't know what you are missing...  Giggle.)  

What I think happens is a two or three pronged attack on your penis.

One, the emotional, passion part.

Two, the constriction of both a condom AND the muscles literally squeezes the blood out of your penis.  This can happen even if you are totally turned on by your partner.  It's simply physics.  And the smaller, tighter she is and the bigger you are the more potential for trouble.  This may be why it's usually more successful with your SO or a monogamous partner with whom you go bare.

My BF is like huge (he's in a couple of my videos if you care to watch...) but I'm quite tight and sometimes we have to stop and regroup.

Three, with greek there's usually a time delay while you put on (or change) a condom and she lubes things up.  Your concentration focus changes.  Your brain is dealing with opening the condom, putting it on backwards, turning it over,  getting everyone into position, etc. Even though if may only be 30-60 seconds, it can be enough to lose the momentum when you add it to the other factors.

I guess the best advice I can offer is relax, and try to have everything ready before hand to keep the transition time as short as possible and pump things up again if you need.  I hope this helps.

Have fun, play safe.

Giggle,
TS Jamie