Do I have an Oedipus complex? Don't think I do but maybe I'm not sure what one is....

No I'm not trying to off pops to marry moms but I'm wondering if my mother being a provider has led me to partake in this hobby and now get into serious relationship with a provider.

A little back story I'm in my early 30's and was born to a mother who was a provider. I never had any issues growning up and didn't find out until I was 16 after finding letters and other evidence. I'm not ashamed of it as she a great mother and never exposed me to inappropriate thing as a child. I'm proud that she was good enough at what she did to keep a roof over our head and off Goverment assistance while getting a masters and working as head of major accounting company. While she was able to get out of the industry she has had horrible marriages and now in her 50's she's pretty much given up on relationships and is content with work and family and casual dating.

I started in this hobby in late 20's after getting out of boring civy relationships and I've never been very active. I have always enjoyed the company of "fast" women who were in control of their sexuality....now for the oedipus part I think...  

I recently began a serious relationship with a provider and its been going great for last 5 months. I have no problems with what she does never have never will as long as she follows the rules which we agreed upon. But I Have always wondered if my mother past profession has allowed me to be in a serious relationship with an escort?

I would like to think its because I'm an open guy with a very different prospective on life than most men, but maybe I'm sublimely trying to save a women who most men would deem not worthy of a "normal good" man...I'm honeslty not sure and would love to hear the Love Goddess thoughts

(I'm okay with jokes but this is a serious question and its my life please be respectful or don't post)

Dear ChestRockwell69,

Here's what I have to say about that one: The answer is the first sentence in your last paragraph - short, sweet and definitely to the point. YES, you ARE an open guy with a different perspective. And yes, the fact that you haven't seen your mother burn in hell for her profession as a sex professional - despite the almost universal opprobrium heaped on providers in society - has probably made you into a less moralizing person than most, at least when it comes to sexuality.

Now, what if I told you that many aspects of Freudianism are considered anachronisms and not considered in current theories of personality? Remember that the whole Oedipus complex arose because of male "castration anxiety" and other more or less fabulatory theories of good old Siggy. I offer his "seduction theory" as evidence for his own mutability when it came to theorizing about the human mind. And, as far as the Oedipus complex is concerned, that would have nothing to do with you wanting to rescue a woman - it would mean that you wanted to HAVE SEX with your mother on some level, and that you were much more tied to her than any other female...and would have DIFFICULTY getting with someone else. As to the fact that a man can't get with a woman who has the same profession as his mother - well, then we might as well declare everyone in the entertainment industry completely Oedipally damaged, because actors beget actors who get involved with other actors...and they don't seem to suffer more than anyone else [although they do seem to GET LAID more often than the average person, hmmm..]

I say that there are so many other things playing into your choice of mate - genetics, pheromones, chance, your current life stage - remember that you are an individual, first and foremost, and not some product of your mother's profession, however fabulous and noble.

Instead, enjoy the relationship for what it is. It doesn't seem like you want to "rescue" anyone - if that were the case, you'd be with someone who was more in the "abuse" territory, rather than  a "fast woman in control of her sexuality." Now, if this lady DOES have some issues, I'd venture to say that being a provider is not the genesis of those issues. Many women are extremely traumatized, abused and/or disturbed and they are NOT providers. In fact, to be a successful provider requires someone who is stable and largely in control. So think of that- maybe you're drawn to strong, independent women just like your mother - and what's wrong with that?

I wouldn't worry about this too much - instead, live life to the fullest. So what if your love life is "colorful?" Would you rather be a crashing bore in a humdrum relationship? Isn't that why most married men get with providers in the first place?

Bravo to you for being so open,
The Love Goddess

Your original question: "Do I have an Oedipus complex?" is interesting, given that one person, who would need to be discussed, in answering such a question, was never brought up; your father.

I'm not arguing with anything LG has said, but I'm wondering if the question has some impetus behind it having to do with your relationship, or lack of relationship with your father.

you are able to have a relationship with an escort, not because you in some way want to be with your mother, but because you are more understanding because of your mother.

A lot of people, even ones that partake of this "hobby" carry with them a lot of preconceived notions about escorts (and clients), thanks to you growing up with a mother that was an escort, you aren't burdened by the same notions others are.

Thanks for the responses, I appreciated other opinions.

As far as my Father he was around for my frist 3 years then gone (prison) until I was 18 or so. We have a so/so relationship never was his biggest Champion or loudest opponent. His absence was an issue as it would be with any boy missing a dad but I was fortunate to have uncles that stepped in and kept me pretty straight for most part.

I have told my girlfriend about my upbrining and she is amazed sometime but she can see how I'm okay with her line of work. She's had problems with serious relationships because of her work. I wouldn't have progressed into having serious feelings if she wasn't mentally fit for this line of work but from my knowledge of her, she's not only good at what she does she takes it for what it is work...nothing more.


I'm glad I don't have a Oedipus complex and thankful that LG was able to shed some light on the topic, thanks again and I'm always open about my upbringing its pure americana and I wouldn't have it any other way

-- Modified on 6/4/2010 9:06:05 AM

... you named your daughter Antigone!

Wow! I'm not big on greek history but you wouldn't believe and I just realized her name is greek but my girlfriends sister named her daughter Antigone! I sh!t you not! I never asked where the name came from as we call her by her nickname Tiggy...I'm kinda tripping out on that one

Head of a major accounting company?  Please>>>>  Please OMG