My dear katiana,
Well if that wasn't a description of provider occupational hazard, then I don't know what is. Providing can get very isolating and very lonely! And at the same time, it's difficult to reach out, mainly because of trust issues. To provide is to give, but it's also to shelter, to hide and to protect. That can easily spill over in relationships with other women, even if they do the same thing. The process becomes almost second nature, mainly because as a provider, you have a different persona - different name, different "official background story," an entirely different psychic "voice." And some providers don't want to present their off-duty selves to anyone, not even other women in the business.
I'm not one to say that providers are nasty to one another or engage in cutthroat competition; it's more a question of sometimes betraying trust, often carelessly and unintentionally to other clients. A provider may tell something to another in confidence, or disclose details in her private life, and suddenly become fodder for client-provider chat which is completely out of her control. As a result of this, many providers really limit contact with their sisters, and maybe stick to one, max two other colleagues with whom they share details of their private lives. Others are therefore kept at a distance. Now add that to the fact that providing has to be kept hidden for legal and social reasons, and all of a sudden, you have very few friends. So what to do?
My advice is to get on the Web and find like-minded people with whom you can exchange information on topics or hobbies you do feel passionate about. It can be anything, from politics to heavy metal music to Christian choir-singing - whatever floats your boat. Me, I like those fan-sites on facebook. And then, when there's an event, e.g. concert or lecture, you can reach out and contact people who are also going. In addition, there are all those physical hobbies which actually are GOOD for you - hiking, rock-climbing, cycling, whatever. Yoga studios are great for meeting people and making friends.
As to meeting people in the industry - well, TER is good for that. Are you a member of the Providers Board? That's always a great place to meet and talk. There, you can get some contacts for further friendship and talk.
The biggest problem is always the first step. Once you begin engaging in seeking, you will find. Try doing something that will break your patterns [see the thread begun by Lovelylorena on this page], and I can almost guarantee that you will find new friends.
Let us know how it goes,
The Love Goddess
