I org posted this on the Newbie board, and one of the respondents suggested I try TEH:

I've had two well-reviewed indy girls go MIA on me, after the appointment had been set up.

I had an appt set up w/one agency girl, and wound up not being able to find the incall location. I had another appt set up for this morning, and wound up coming up w/some sort of virus yesterday, and had to cancel it last night.

I have had a BestGFE handle for a couple of months, VIP here, cleared by three agencies, and RS2K. And yet it doesn't seem to matter if it's indy or agency, because I keep striking out all over the place.

Ugh!

LG, what do you think? Have you run across people who for whatever reason just weren't meant for hobbying?

"People who for some reason weren't meant for hobbying," FirstTimeSeeing?

Well, I've got to tell you, I'm too much of an existentialist to believe there are people who are "meant" for either. You make your choices based on your risk/stress tolerance and your resilience in the face of adversity. In addition, you've got people who get challenged by difficulties and who get excited by ambiguities; you just have to decide if that's you in general - or not.

Coming down with a virus seems like an unfortunate but not impossible occurrence - or is this the very first time you've ever had a virus?

Now, there is something in your posting that I find very interesting, and that is the seemingly intricate preparations you've made just to get laid. Do you always go into such high gear just to get your wick dipped? I mean, have you ever had a one-night stand, or just found some chick at a club and fucked her in the car a few hours later? I mean, there are men who pick up streetwalkers on a sheer impulse. There are guys who wake up horny one day, begin netsurfing, and a few hours later they are banging their brains out. You, on the other hand, have had a TER handle for A FEW MONTHS?!?!, have been cleared by three agencies and some kind of referral service?

Why all this excess just to get laid? I don't understand - prostitution is supposed to make screwing easier, not more difficult. What is it about having sex that requires all this preparation? I mean, if you are willing to let yourself be screened, if you are willing to wait a week or so, nailing an appointment with a provider should be a cinch.

If I may be so bold, I'd say that you seem to be a little overanxious - and that's not a positive when you're about to screw someone totally unfamiliar. So you got lost the first time? Big deal. So you got a virus the 2nd time? Could happen to anyone. So next time you won't have a virus, you'll meet the girl at a hotel or somewhere REALLY FAMILIAR to you, and then you'll fuck and have a good time. Or? Do you think you're going to be so wound up and nervous that you won't have an erection or be able to climax - or climax within seconds?

To me, that's the same kind of nervousness and anxiety that pops up whenever we humans attempt to do something we've never done before. Luckily, we're pretty much constructed for having sex, so that shouldn't be an issue of competence. All the attendant cogitating, obsessive planning and ultra-elevated expectations are things we create ourselves, simply because some of us just can't tolerate the unknown. So if that's the case, then I'd say that hobbying - i.e. screwing unfamiliar chicks - might be a little stress-inducing for you. Your choice is either to let it go, or tell yourself that you just can't handle the unfamiliar. And then maybe stick to one particular woman, either as a non-paying partner or a sugardaddy, until you let go and begin relaxing into the possibility of having a nice time with many different ladies.

Take a deep breath, dude,
The Love Goddess

Dude, two providers flaked on you in a business filled with flakes on both sides of the envelope. You got lost and you got sick...Lighten up on yourself!

You know, if YOU don't think you should hobby then by all means don't.  This is one part of life where being a self-fulfilling prophecy can get you busted or worse!

If you think you can persevere, handle the occasional disappointment and have fun with hot naked girls then get out there, buy a GPS and go for it!

"I keep striking out all over the place." Hmmmm, an interesting choice of words. Hyperbole? Catastrophizing? From what you wrote, you had two swings and misses, in my book. A third would be striking out. And, one typically gets to bat more than once in a game. So the way in which you word you experience is very defeating. Seems like you have a lot of ambivalence about partaking in the hobby. It's like having one foot on the gas pedal, in your car, and the other on the brake. It's very hard on your engine to do so, so you don't want to do it too long or too often. You've got a choice to make. Do you take your foot off the brake and go for it, or the foot off the gas, and shut it down?

Thank you, LG. You've provided a lot of food for thought.

are terrific words to use in role play: "baby it is sooo good we were meant for each other" is a favorite followed by suitable references to stars aligning or the I Ching.

but i find them useless in actually thinking about or running a life. recently they were used on me in the form: "you are too spiritual a person to be spending your time and money with prostitutes. they're too materialistic".

notice how the speaker of the words is using them to divide the world into exclusive camps. now i've never met a human yet who wasn't spiritual AND materialistic. so when i was offered this advice it was already labeled as rejectable.

i don't look to accidents in my life as signs from fate or messages in a bottle from God. there are ways in which each of is is "meant for" AND "not meant for" each other and this activity. choices make the meaning not the other way around.