Hi Love Goddess
I am a married man. Attractive by most standards, and told so by both civies and escorts. Also told I look about 10 years younger than am.
Have explored escorts selectively and found it mostly fullfilling. Most escorts make it very clear what the boudaries are so there is no question of anything beyond sex.

A recent experience has gotten under my skin. A young lady and I hit if off, and she was frequent and over-the-top in her compliments about my physique. looks and personality. At one time she said she would date me if I was available (not). But she clearly was taken by me, and I'll admit some part of me was also taken; certainly flattered.

However, her behaviour post our date is not consistent with all the romantic cultivation - I'll just leave it there.  Yes, I know all the rules about an escort not wanting a married man to fall for her and become complicated.

So my multi-part question is:  

Is this do you suppose just her way of making the experience truly GFE and not real?  My insticnts tell  me some of it is disingenious. Part tells me she is protecting her emotions once we part company. Should I stop seeing her? - I don't trust my  emotioins on this right now. The best medicine I have found is to see other escorts, but my mind slips back to her. And, BTW, the sex with her ranges from the terrific to not so, so I am not thinking of her simply in a sexual way.

Dear likeGibson,

See the answers as follows:

1. Is this do you suppose just her way of making the experience truly GFE and not real?

It's truly impossible to answer this with some certainty, as we have not heard from the provider in question. Who knows? She may feel this way in the moment, but once she is no longer with you, she may forget all about it. Please remember that providers sometimes compartmentalize to the point of almost creating alternate identities without necessarily implying that they have dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder). It may be that the role she is playing, i.e. the role of Ms. X, with all that it entails, may express attraction to your looks. But, since her feelings are not invested with any depth, she may defocus her attention on you and your appearance after the session is over. Is she doing this to "protect herself?" From what? From falling in love with you? Granted, that might be a nice thought, but it certainly seems to apply more to females in terms of our own cultural conditioning than it does to males. We don't question when a man screws a girl and in the heat of the moment tells her she's the hottest thing on wheels, but minutes later, after he's climaxed, he's out and running and thinking of other issues. This could be a possibility for her as well; she's hot for you while in bed, but once you're gone, she's got other fish to fry and doesn't feel anything for you in particular.

2. Should I stop seeing her?

Well, yes - if you can't tolerate the fact that she just likes you in bed during the time you have together.

In some way, your posting could have been written by a woman who falls for "a cad" [uh-oh, now I'm really showing my age, haha]. She gives it up to him, he takes "advantage" of her and then ignores her until he's hot and feels a little in the mood for female company. And yet, when I dig a little deeper in your posting, it seems that you need and want some sincere validation. And if you do, I sure as hell wouldn't go looking at it from professional providers, even though their flattering comments about your looks may be ever so sincere - in the moment.

Let me slip back into my juvenile persona [see, we shrinks play roles too, haha] and torture you all with the words of one of my fave bands Offspring:

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
When she came over I lost my nerve
I took her bag and made her dessert
Now I know I'm being used
But that's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
But that's okay cause I've got no self esteem

chorus:
Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah (Repeat three times)

We make plans go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
this rejection’s got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so

Chorus

When she's saying, oh that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she saying, oh that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can stand
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah!

Now I'll relay this little bit
It happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and, looking to score
Now I know, I should say no, but
It's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

Chorus

When she's saying, oh that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah!

Lala lala lala lala,
the Love Goddess

That is all very helpful. Thank you. I have an ability to compartimatalize business and other things, but typically not woman. I now understand that this has become a part of her way of life as an escort, and there are other things in her past that has truly caused her to compartmentalize - I'll leave that there.

But one thing about her feeling hot about us in bed that survives the date, and maybe I am rationalizing here. But in her "weaker" moments, she acknowledges that she has opened her heart to me outside of the bedroom, in subsequent communication. But the hard truth is that she really only communicates directly and promptly when it is all about the next date - i.e. money.

So, I may see her again. Good that we are separated by distance. But I will only do so with my mental armour on. Would you recommend against my discussing any of this with her. We do discuss openly, but often this leads to tears.

She must offer really good GFE services. She made it feel real didn't she?  I love it when they do that. It makes my heart sing.

I'm more concerned with you, likeGibson,
than I am with her. Any discussions about emotions that you engage in could potentially disappoint you further when your hopes of forging a deeper connection are dashed.

This is not a criticism against the provider - it's merely an acknowledgment that it's a business.

A fucking business,
the Love Goddess

This is by far my fave board

I would date almost all of my clients in reality world & I truly truly mean with all my heart any & all flattery but Love Goddess is right.

When I leave, it IS back to reality but wow, I  just had the most amazing & satisfying hour or whatever with my client & am grateful for it.

Good luck & I hope it works out.

I had to post on this because LG summed it up for me more eloquently than I even understood it myself, well done LG, golf clap!!!

Now, Brennan. You look totally hot. Thnx for your comments. And LG, probably won't see lady in question unless I have htis back in perspective. Thnx

Like you said, she is a young provider. The young ones have visions of a sugardaddy sweeping them off their feet and showering them with money.
 So she is playingup to your ego to keep you coming back. Will it every become serious? No. Will you ever be able to trust her? No.
Enjoy the sex with a younger woman and move on. Don't let her make a fool of you. Trust me on that.

LG
Don't want to beat a dead horse here, nor do I believe I am being as naïve as the email chain here implies.

What is lacking in the discussion and in Brennan's reaction - is that the lady in question proactively provokes discussion of a relationship, and of opening her heart. This is beyond normal boundaries and I suggest not the way Brennan handles her dates. This seems disingenious and has caused me to conclude to not continue to see her.