Dear verynotcool,
I can understand that you feel violated and impinged upon by this unwelcome intrusion. Unfortunately that is part and parcel of the business you are in, whether madam, agency or provider. Had the wife found the provider's personal number, it's very possible she would have called her directly. This is an occupational hazard, right up there with being arrested, outed by neighbors or identified in public. It is miserable being the target of opprobrium and the feeling is really low.
Now, I'm guessing that you would feel the same way if someone from left field called you and made accusations, even if prostitution were legal. The wife in question is coming from a very emotional place and she is probably in a maelstrom of feelings at the moment. Being the aggrieved wife can be horrendous - imagine her feelings of betrayal right now. And what happened in this case is that some of those feelings got spilled over onto you, by virtue of the email.
Are you a "peddler of flesh?" Well, not really - the provider is the one making the choice to avail her body for money. Are you profiting from it - yes, you are, but you are also managing the provider's business - you are an agent who is entitled to reimbursement for the services you perform on behalf of the provider.
Historically, because prostitution has been so laden with value judgments and so vilified as a concept, being a pimp, madam or agent for a prostitute carries a different meaning than being an agent for an actor or athlete. It is a thorny issue, almost like the Inuit and whaling, the shooting of wolves, or foreign adoption of children, just to mention a few disparate issues where there are two immediate sides to the story.
Have you destroyed marriages? Have you hurt children? Clearly not. If I may be so bold - and people may truly hate me for saying this - if the sexual appetite of men and women were a little more similar, perhaps we wouldn't have so much extra-relational sex on the part of men. On the other hand, there are plenty of men who get all the sex they want at home, and who still go extra-relational the first opportunity they get. This is a complex situation that involves genetics, evolutionary precepts, socialization for both genders and certainly personal history. In fact, there are probably several reasons for why you have chosen to work in the sex industry. Are you to be blamed for this?
It is not your mission to minister to this woman's feelings - that's between her and her husband. And also, just think of how many people you make happy every day - the providers who rely on you to get them work, and the men who purchase their sexual services with great satisfaction.
It's not easy being the boss in any kind of company. All industries have their drawbacks and this one is specific to yours. My advice to you is to take some time out for today. Turn off the phones, go to a park, go be in nature and just "wash off" that email. Maybe a great massage at a spa would feel relaxing to you? Some reiki maybe? A great movie and a fab meal in a restaurant? After all, you have to do something fun with the money you make!
One last tip - for that easy, breezy feeling about your job, please rent or purchase the HBO series "Cathouse." It's a fabulous documentary of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada, complete with the participation of the owner and all his "ladies." Whenever I think of the aspects of dread in prostitution, I swear the chapters in this series cheer me up.
Take the day off, my dear,
The Love Goddess
