I've spent my last $300 on a provider.....hoping for a decent erection. Don't get wrong, it's absolutely NOT their fault. They are as beautiful as advertised and tried their best to get me "ready" to play. I'm so frustrated , I don't know what to do next.

I've tried viagra, levitra and cialis with limited success. The crazy thing is ( and I realize it's probably all in my head ), I can get great erections looking at porn (either on computer or TV).

I can cum......without getting real hard. I guess that's better than nothing. I'm 52, had oopen heart surgery 5 years ago (4 by passes), take toprol for high blood pressure, crestor  for cholestrol, protonix for reflux. I'm probably 20-30 lbs overweight, Don't know if it's the medication or guilt or  what......but I'm one frustrated "former" hobbyiest.

I do have a SO, the sex with her is about the same. Maybe 1 time in 5, I can get a decent erection.


I have to say, I've met some great people in this hobby. Seriously, some quality individuals.....both providers and fellow hobbyists.

Beta Blockers are notorious for causing ED.
You should have a discussion with your doctor about your ED experience and indicate to him/her that it sexual function is important to you. There are many ways to tread hypertension. Nobody on this board can give you medical advice but I strongly suggest that you discuss possible treatment options with your MD with the goal of trying a BP med that is less erection averse than Toprol. Every type of BP med has potential ED complications associated with it but some are less likley to cause a problem and of course every person reacts differently to each particular med.

Beyond that, improving your cardio vascular health and core strength will also vastly improve your ability to have and enjoy sex. BUT make sure that you discuss any possible diet or excercise plans with your doctor as well.

Good luck -

GTM

Don't give up, Traveling Salesman,

Book an appointment with your GP or internal medicine specialist and have him/her adjust your BP meds - notorious for tampering with the genital equipment.

The other thing is performance anxiety - you seem to have a slight case of it. And of course, worrying about erections doesn't exactly help.

Now as to being overweight, that also affects your blood pressure. And 20-30 lbs is not a small amount. So you're in A VICIOUS CIRCLE; BP meds, situational ED, obesity, performance anxiety. A Catch-22 if I've ever seen one.

If I could wave my magic penis-wand, I'd wave it in the direction of weight loss. Losing the 20-30 lbs will help you SIGNIFICANTLY with energy, blood pressure and mood, believe it or not. The fact that you've spent your last $300 "on a provider" could be interpreted two ways: either you don't have any more money at all, or you just don't have any more money to spend on a disappointing experience. Well then, how about this: take the money you WOULD have spent on providers and get a private trainer who is also knowledgeable about nutrition and weight loss. Yes, it may seem cliché, but I'll tell you this - only good things can come out of it. You'll lose weight, it's guilt-free and it will truly help you in the long run. Come to think of it, it would help your reflux as well, since you won't have weight issues to complicate matters.

So there you have it - the GP, the weight loss, the adjustment in meds. Yes, it's a tall order...but so is living without good sex!

Now go do it - you will feel better,
The Love Goddess

I understand about the medications, the need to drop 20 lbs at least. I guess the most frustrating part is the way I'm able to get so hard looking at even soft core porn or even reading some of the more erotic reviews in here.
I've heard it said that fantasy is better than reality.......for me the last couple of years, unfortuately.......that's been the case.

Yup, Traveling Salesman,

Whenever there's another live human involved, it puts pressure on people. It's the same for women, except they don't have a visible barometer giving a telltale sign.

My final advice to you is to enact a scene with a provider: Sit in a room by yourself, watch some juicy porn and begin masturbating. Have her come in, fully dressed, maybe with one tit exposed, and let her watch the porn with you. Just let her sit there and watch you masturbating. At some point, give her control of the joystick and have her complete the handjob. But that's it - no more activity from her.

See if you can tolerate that, and go from there. If you are to beat performance anxiety, it has to happen in stages. Seeing a nekkid female splayed out in front of you could be counterproductive at this point. You need to get into modified sensate focus, and this is one of the ways to do it. Later, as you progress, armed with a different prescription, less weight and possibly more familiarity with the provider (stick with one that really strikes your fancy), things may improve. But try the "she-snuck-up-on-me-while-I-jacked-off" scenario for now, and see if it works.

Good luck,
The Love Goddess

lg, i'm always singing your praises it seems, but how the hell did u get so smart?  that is purrfect advice.  and i bet that with the other things is gonna square this fellow away.

Almost exactly the same situation for me, only I have no physical problems and my weight is perfect.

I'm pretty certain that in your case, like mine, it's all in your head.

I have a very special friend with the same type of situation. We have overcome this situation completely since we met 4 months ago. He is also in his 60's and good health. Since you enjoy viewing (porn) and it's successful for you, watch your provider sensually touch herself in a teasing way with you very close by but just watching. Lightly feeling her skin (non privates) or gently kissing, then chime in when you're ready. Watching Her may be the stimulation you need to enjoy yourself. Good luck.