Yes, exactly!
A rough tabulation of my past month, in order of frequency, would go something like this:
1. Car has broken, can't come over to see you otherwise
2. My roomate(s) can't make the rent: landlord just called
3. I broke a nail, no way I can see you in this condition
4. Dispensary (most of mine don't drink)
I just pay it, there's no way around it!
They think budget is the name of a rental car co.
Ok, so now over my 2 year career on SA, I have sent money (around 300 plus or minus) six times before I actually met the lady. I mean, however, we had established solid texts, etc.
Current statistics: 2.5 times I got fucked (one she showed, but decided there was no chemistry) 3.5 times I got delightfully fucked!
Worth it? Jury is still out for me LOL
I have one IRONCLAD rule in the sugar bowl and that is I NEVER "send" money to someone I have yet to meet in person. The only exception to this rule was one time I had a date tentatively scheduled with a POT SB and I was the one who had to cancel, She asked me if I would buy her a pizza the next day and I obliged. She fucked my brains out a couple of days later, pizza money well spent. lol
OTOH, i have had hundreds, maybe even thousands of POT SB's hitting me up for gas money, rent money, bail money, every story you could possibly imagine in advance of meeting in person, I have never and I will never, send any one of these potential scammers a dime.
PP, I am glad you have had decent luck sending money in advance, but your success is NOT going to change my mind on the subject. I am every bit as likely to send a hooker a "deposit" for a one hour date as I am to "cash app" or "venmo" a POT SB sight unseen.
I have the same ironclad rule as Gambler, never send money to someone you don't already know. I break that rule every once in a while especially if she's just asking for a trivial amount like $25 for gas money. But it NEVER works, it's always a scam, you never get any pussy that way. Never.
I also agree with the consensus talked about further in this thread, corollary to rule number one is rule number two: Never give money in advance even to a SB in an ongoing arrangement. They always promise to make it up to you, they never do, and they ghost on you. Giving money in advance is the end of the arrangement. Always. There's some kind of psychological process going on here, even with a SB you luv and trust and have been dating for over a year. Give them a chunk of $$ for some special need or emergency, and you'll never see them again. Sorry to be so negative, but that's how it's always been for me.
I think it is some form of procrastination. It's also a reveal ... the duty is unpleasant in some aspect, maybe sheer lasiness... could be any reason, but there's no payoff to follow through, since she already has the money in her pocket.
I believe it just happened to me! Not so much I gave her a chunk of $$, but for the past 3 weeks (I pay a weekly allowance) she has managed to 1) be sick 2) traded work shifts with another girl 3) eye infection 4) on her period...all of which caused one postponement after another, during which I continued to pay her allowance. Lo and behold, she ghosted on me a couple days ago! LOL
I agree with sweetman. I've NEVER given money to someone I haven't met, but...I have given money to SB's I was involved with, or had had a coffee meet with, and the results are universally bad.
They're suddenly hard to reach, have to work a lot, on their period, have out of town visitors, Mom got sick, car broke down, dog got sick, etc.
I've actually advanced small amounts of money a few times just to see if my cynical worldview is correct, and...I'm sad to say, it is.
Sweetman is right on this one, 100%. I don't understand the psychology, because you'd think that they would be grateful and would realize that a little reciprocity would be good for future advances, but it just doesn't work. I don't get it, but there it is.
I try not to give ANY money in advance, but sometimes with an SB that you enjoy you actually want to help them, BUT you don't want to be a sucker in the process, nor do you want to end up losing both your money AND the pussy in by making one ill advised decision.
As I am sure you already know, Whatever you do, do NOT give her everything she asks for up front, you already know how that story ends, but you can "sometimes" help her and yourself at the same time. No matter how small the amount she asks for, give her "part" of it and the rest of it later, with a "visit" being a prerequisite for her to receive each payment. If she tries the old, Let me come by and get the money real fast and we'll have a nice time later, DON"T DO IT. Later will never come. I know it's makes the relationship seem more transactional, but you need to train your SB's to only expect money after a BCD visit. More money, means more visits. Once they get it in their little minds that they can just come by and pick up money without having sex, you will have created a monster who will be bugging you for money non stop, but will always have one of those excuses that you mention. I had an SB once who would claim to be "on her cycle" about 3 weeks out of the month. The sex was great, but I had to kick her to the curb for the very reasons we are talking about.
have sent money in advance of the first meet (I personally never have), the successes you have had are the exception rather than the rule. My opinion is that you have had some luck so far, but the more you make this your practice, the lower your success percentage will go.
In my experience, the girls who want an ongoing relationship with an older guy have no qualms about a coffee or lunch meet for an hour to get to know a little bit about what you are both contemplating getting into before hitting the sheets. IMO, girls that want money up front, or want PPM on the first meeting for sex are just hookers masquerading as SB's. Even though they are both P4P, there is a different mind-set between the two. As soon as I see a red flag that a girl is just pretending to be an SB, but is really just a hooker marketing herself as an SB, I move on to the next name on the my list. When it comes to an ongoing arrangement, you will get your best deal if you investigate a little and find out her living situation and motives before you make any investment. I also want to meet her to see for myself that she is not a wacko or druggie, and that her photos were real. If she is not willing to do a coffee meet on spec, then she's not really looking for an ongoing arrangement, IMO, just a quick fuck for money.
You guys are waaay too rational, making it impossible to debate you lol.
I just did a seventh yesterday, and although the girl promised to show up tonight, I think it's going to be one for the negative column.
Overall I will have lost $900, which is not going to set me back in any way, except my pride!
Do take note tho, I don't do this willy nilly, it's just a way to push a girl on the fence, to jump over the fence. On the successful side, it gave reassurance that I would deliver, on the negative side: just as you and GaGa point out, it's just another snack for the scammers.
Now, mind you, I only do this over a bottle of nice wine!
The only place were we diverge is where it comes to "hookers masquerading as SB's" I don't disagree about these "semi-pros" as I like to call them, I only disagree about not seeing them. I LIKE hookers, and most semi pros charge a lot less than true pros of the same caliber.
I think our appetites are similar as far as frequency goes. I like to get laid "Most days" I don't have to get laid each and every day, but OTOH if I go more than a couple of days without pussy I tend to get a bit grumpy. (That probably explains why both Jake and LTM are ALWAYS so fucking grumpy, but that's a conversation for a different time and board. lol) Back to my point, while I like to have sex almost every day, I am not necessarily wanting hours worth of "company" every day. Some days it's great to just have some young hot thing come over, take care of my needs and LEAVE. Semi-pros are perfect for filling in those kind of days without breaking the budget. You would be amazed just how little some of these rather cute girls are willing to accept to come visit a couple of times a week for "sex only" dates. Jack Dunphy was green with envy when I told him what I am getting accustomed to paying.
So I gotta ask: what are you paying??
Obviously the market can vary depending on the locale. I'm in PHX, so we don't do LA, but it's not Kansas here lol. Personally, I've found the semi-pros to be on the extreme side of $$$, yeah some shapely pussy, but generally devoid of much warmth. I'm more like CDL and tend to avoid them.
I have had several semi-pros in my rotations over the last few years, I tend to pay them about $100 a visit. Two or three visits a week add up to about what they would make for working full time at some shit job. And the warmth level tends to go up when you see someone multiple times a week.
A LOT of the college girls come see me for the same amount of money, they pretty much have no bills and they don't mind at all having sex for pocket money. Yes, they do have to at least like you a "little bit" and you can't be "repulsive" to get these kind of rates, but as long as they don't hate the sex, or even better if they actually like it, it's "easy money" as far as they are concerned. Now when you get to the women in their 30's with kids, bills and obligations, they tend to be a bit more mercenary.
"I'm late with the rent", or "I need some groceries (new shoes, new panties, etc.)" situations.
The nickels and dimes are what crush my piggy bank.
That kind of thing does happen OFTEN with the single mothers of any age, and my response is "I guess I'll be seeing a lot of you over the next few days then" I NEVER give them a lump sum that is more than about twice the amount that I give them on their usual visit. Here is the problem in doing that. Let's say you normally give your SB $300 each time you see her, but then she has an "emergency" for $1,500 and you give it to her on the promise that she "works it off" by seeing you for free until she has paid you back. That "sounds" easy enough, Right? Here's how she sees it the minute she leaves with your money. "Fuck, I am going to have to see him FIVE times for free before I start getting paid again, maybe it's time to move on?"
It's not just a matter of losing the money, which almost always happens, it's the same as when a bar lets it's patrons run a tab, when they can't pay not only is the bar out the money, but they lose the customer as well. That is what generally happens when you give an SB too much money at once, you lose both the money AND the pussy.
Here is how I handle it. When an SB has an emergency I am always sympathetic, but I always try to break her "emergency" into several visits, paying her as we go along. I will "sometimes" give her an amount that equals three times her normal allowance, but since I am getting a visit that day, it's only two visits that she has to make up. Anything more than that and I simply say "sorry, but I can't help that much today" I know I risk losing the SB, but I would rather lose just the SB and keep my money rather than lose BOTH my money and the SB to boot. lol
Yes, exactly!
A rough tabulation of my past month, in order of frequency, would go something like this:
1. Car has broken, can't come over to see you otherwise
2. My roomate(s) can't make the rent: landlord just called
3. I broke a nail, no way I can see you in this condition
4. Dispensary (most of mine don't drink)
I just pay it, there's no way around it!
They think budget is the name of a rental car co.
Most people (Where is Herbcat when I need him) see these "emergencies" in black and white terms, IOW you either agree to give her the money or you don't. I don't approach it that way, I live in a world with a lot of gray. First off, let's agree that while some of these emergencies are legitimate, but others are contrived in order to get deeper into your pocket. Personally I set mental limits, usually dependent on how hot, and how much I like any particular SB, on how much she is worth "to me" and I won't give her any more than whatever that number is, which usually is somewhere between two and three times her usual allowance that she gets each time we meet.
Let's suppose you normally give a girl $300 each time you seen her and she has a $1,500 emergency that you really don't want to pay for. Rather than giving her the entire $1,500 and opening the door to constant emergencies that are sure to follow, OR alternatively saying flat NO and risk losing her (but not your money) try this next time. "I would love to help you out, but I don't have that much cash on hand today, why don't you come over we can have a nice time and I can help you with half of your "insert emergency" and we can figure out how maybe we can see a lot more of each other over the next several days and I can help you out of this jam"
Let me warn you in advance, she will almost certainly try to get you to give her ALL the money today with some vague promise to "make it up to you". Trust me, she will NEVER "make it up to you" if you give her all the money in advance. YOU are the guy with the money, you are older, wiser and the person in charge. (or at least you are supposed to be) Stick to your guns and you'll be surprised how much less you will be taken advantage of. This of course doesn't work in all cases, sometimes it really is black or white and either you give in or replace her. Personally, when giving an ultimatum, I usually just replace her with someone else.
BTW some SB's are NOT this high maintenance and rarely pull these kind of things, in those cases when I know I am not being played I often just give them what they ask for. Like I said, a lot of it depends on how much I like them. This advice is for the women who ALWAYS seem to need more money than agreed to and who make you feel like a walking ATM. lol
I'm in the same market. We should compare notes some day would help avoid scammers and no shows
So my issue is mainly this...noting however this is not my first rodeo.
My three girls average 54 years, 330 lbs, and have blonde hair (well one is somewhat purple)
They don't respond too well to logic...I mean I can easily win an argument, but it's going to be no pussy day that week.
Otoh, I never would agree to any expense of $1500, my cutoff is $500.
I've got my 17-->18 coming next month, so some flexibly with being the ATM!
But, yeah, can't disagree with any advice offered, other than with this age group, some latitude is necessary.
and that is exactly why you have a "rotation" of SB's. when one closes her legs for you in a snit, you simply fuck one of your other SB's that day. lol
Correction: replace "average" with "total" HaHaHa
Somehow I can't imagine having to pay women who are 54 years old and 330 lbs. lol
I was just having a political discussion about fat ass Stacey Abrams from GA who's name is being bandied about as a possible VP pick next year. Someone made the incredibly stupid remark that I didn't like her because she was black. I had to respond that I am currently seeing two black girls, but that the two of them combined are almost exactly Abrams age and weight. Fat Ass Abrams is 45 years old and right about 200 lbs. The two black girls I am seeing are 22 and 23, and both of them weigh in at right about 100 lbs apiece. So I can appreciate EXACTLY what you are talking about. lol
MD I only have the basic membership so can't message you, not sure of a good alternative.
Same here. Trying to think of a way since posting numbers or email on here is probably a no-no