Sorry for starting a new thread from Quick Shooters post below, but I have different though related questions.

I too, am now a quick shooter. I'm 61 years old, and in great shape and health. In the past, with civvie relationships, I was usually able to delay ejaculation till my partner reached orgasm. Now that I have been single again for quite a while, I'm back into hobbying. I saw my last provider for two hours, and had a great time. Unfortunately, I lasted maybe a minute after she started vigorous CG. I had taken a dose of Viagra for erection quality. 45 minutes later, I was rock hard again. After some BBBJ, I entered doggie, and again popped in two minutes or less. I had hoped that the first cup would have given me the opportunity to delay orgasm longer, but not so. I have read all the threads on The Erotic Highway, pertaining to tantric sex, training your body, etc. I am looking for an easier fix, so here's my questions:

First: Has anyone had any experience with condoms that are treated with desensitizing agents in the tip? If so, what was the result? How long do they delay ejaculation, and do they have other caveats?

Second: I know that most providers really don't give a damn how long you last. Probably, the sooner the better is fine for the majority. I know most don't like getted pounded for 15 or 20 minutes, and I'm not looking to last anywhere near that. However, suppose you have an ATF that you see regularly, and you know that she really likes to get off, through intercourse as well. Is it wrong or naive to want to accommodate her? Naturally, it's a big ego stroke for guys to know they can still "Ring The Chimes.", and I'm fairly adept at spotting fake O's.

In closing, I know that maybe I should be thankful that I can still get 2 or maybe even 3 cups in a two hour date, but it's the quality of the experience that we all look for. Any suggestions or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry for the length of the post, and BTW, I think you are the greatest LG.

Dear brandywine,

As you know, Viagra is no miracle, although to many it's almost a blessing from heaven. Meanwhile, IN THE BEST OF CASES, it can only set you back to where you used to be, erectionwise. AND, it absolutely cannot do anything about age-related changes in terms of refractory time and orgasm.

Viagra merely controls erection, not ejaculation. And at 61, your body will decide what it wants to do. Some men don't last very long before popping, some don't pop at all, and some pop once after 2 minutes and then it's refractory time. AND, they've always been that way.

Personally, I think it's great that you were able to pop twice under any circumstances. You can try the desensitizing agents and end up with irritated tissues or no feeling at all. As to asking others, well, that's like asking about a surefire way of getting a woman to orgasm. There isn't one. For some men, this will work. For others, it's pure hell. Before you go putting some desensitizer in the condom, try it on a bare penis in the comfort of your own solitude to see how you react.

Second: if your ATF likes to get off in whatever way it may be, clearly it's not wrong to try and accommodate her. Sounds perfectly nice.

Hope you have a good next time,
the Love Goddess

Perhaps LG can chime in on this, as she may know more than I do. There are herbal enhancers that do help with erections and also desensitize the head of the penis. The ones I know about are eurycoma longifolia (LJ100 or Tongkat Ali) and epimedium saggitatum (Horny Goat Weed). There is also another that I've read some warnings about called Yohimbe. As with any medication, your doctor should be consulted first.

Dear hungry 1951,

Yes there are herbal enhancements, and while many of them are harmless, others are risky in that some substances are from China and can be contaminated without the knowledge of the seller and the consumer.

Medical grade yohimbine should be administered by a physician only.

As with everything else, some people do really well on these, while others state it did nothing for them.

Do not experiment on your own, please
the Love Goddess

If you were to take a sufficient dose of viagra, wouldn't you remain hard after ejaculation, so you could still have sex even during the refractory period? I'm not talking about a huge dose here, just the normal 100mg.

This is assuming you are only taking 25mg or 50mg right now, so taking 100mg might strengthen the effect to the point where you are physically capable of sex even though you are not really fired up.

You have 2 problems: 1 is the low endurance for intercourse, and 2 is the long refractory period. If you fix either one of those you will probably be a lot happier. I think, with mental discipline, you can probably break through the refractory period and get back into the action sooner. 45 minutes sounds so long, I imagine that you would be much happier if you could get that down to 10-15 minutes.

Thanks LG and hungry1951:

Lets clear up one point. I don't have any problems with E.D. I only take Viagra when I see providers, because I feel that it assures me a very hard erection. Perhaps that's just phychological, but if your mind believes it, then it has served its purpose. I have an over active libido, and I masturbate frequently when that is the only option. I would go broke if I needed Viagra to achieve an erection. I know it does nothing for the refractory period, or related issues.

My problem is strictly related to my ability to control my orgasm. I've come to understand through research, that excessive masturbation is thought to be detrimental in that regard, because one is not inclined to delay orgasm under those circumstances. I am not circumsized, and have also been led to believe that I may be more sensitive than uncut men? There seems to be definative opposing theories on this?

If I could lock into a situation where I was receiving as much sex as I wanted, I'm sure I could get my timing and control back. Unfortunately, that probably isn't going to happen. I have been spoiled my whole life, and I am only attracted to women who are much younger than me. Civilians are no longer a viable option, or I'd be getting laid every day. I think this may be part of the problem. I am very visually oriented. The last provider I saw was in her early 20's, and the mere sight of her naked body almost put me over the top before she even touched me! I knew I was toast from get go!

So, lets try and keep any future posts relavent to this particular aspect of my problem. Can anyone else relate to it?

I'd love to hear you weigh in on this LG.

-- Modified on 10/11/2008 1:32:32 PM

-- Modified on 10/11/2008 1:37:19 PM

Hello - I have a problem with losing erection due to postural change (orthostatic hypotension). My Dr. had me try Levitra. I discontinued it, because it made me so insensitive I could not ejaculate. But perhaps it would be worth asking your doctor about, to try in lieu of Viagra. Perhaps you might find a dose that gives a confidence boost and desensitizes you to an appropriate level. But beware - most providers have limited tolerance for p-v sex when it is obvious that you are not going to pop in this way. There is quite a thread on GD about this topic. Oh, I now use a prolong ring when having problems with orthostatic hypotension, and this also has the effect of desensitizing, but not nearly as much as Levitra. Remember, YMMV, and check with your doctor - Cheers - Gregory

-- Modified on 10/11/2008 2:24:41 PM

Dear brandywine,

Taking Viagra when you really don't need to is not a great idea - then again, that's between you and your physician.

If you want to "last longer," then do the old-fashioned Seamans squeeze technique, the Masters and Johnson stop-start method, the defocusing, etc. On the other hand, masturbation has little to do with it - that mostly affects the RE (retarded ejaculation) folks.

Quite frankly, it seems to me that your issue is mostly psychological. You get it up, you can come several times - so what's the problem? Like I said, if you want to last longer, begin by defocusing. Someone - I think it was the poster "dr.joe" was talking about vomit?!? or some such thing [please correct me if I'm wrong here] in a previous thread. And while I don't advocate the idea of getting totally grossed out while trying to slow down, defocusing is not necessarily such a bad idea when your brain is running away from under your control.

Yes, uncircumcized males retain more sensitivity in the uncut areas of the penis, but research does not indicate that they have more of a problem with PE. The whole concept of PE was created by Masters and Johnson and the longer we get away from their performance-oriented model, the more we come to understand that there may not even be such a yardstick to begin with. Science does evolve and change perceptions, thankfully.

If I were you, I'd relax a little more mentally when it comes to this whole issue. Maybe NOT take Viagra and see what happens?

Cheerio,
the Love Goddess

And not considered a "normal does" by most doctors.
I take 50mg and when I started my doctor recommended 25mg at first.  The 50mg and 100mg pills are the same price so most doctors prescribe the 100mg pills and patients cut them in half or quarters to save money.

I tried 100mg one night with the idea that  "if 50mg is good then 100mg will be awesome".  Well, I WAS as hard as a rock but I absolutely could not ejaculate. My ATF and I licked, boinked, jerked and licked some more but it was a no go. This is the only time I ever tried 100mg and the only time I've had a problem with ejaculation since going on the med two years ago.  Obviously everyone if different but I would think twice about taking that much Viagra.

Bostonguy57,

The effect you describe sounds like EXACTLY what brandywine is looking for.

While a guy like you or I might not be able to finish thanks to the delaying effect of medication adding to our already-high duration, someone like brandywine will probably get the delay he is looking for without losing the ability to finish entirely.

Even if he can't finish, I'm sure that would make for a wild 2 hour session, lol.

Of course he should check with his doctor first. If he is already dealing with side effects at 50mg he might not want to exaggerate them with a higher dose.

Dear LG,

Thank you for your input, and I would never experiment on my own. My son is an herbalist, with a masters degree in acupuncture and oriental medicines. He is the first one that I consulted. He not only gave me all the appropriate warnings, and told me to consult my doctor, but also spoke with her personally.

The only products I get are not processed, but loose leaf to be made into tea. They are not from China. They come from Malaysia. Most importantly, I am not recommending that anyone take any of these products without their physician's supervision.

LG's point about advice from other men having limited value is correct.  Each body is different.  Nevertheless, I'll give you my experience.  I have a tendency to come faster than I want the first round and then if I do recycle have difficulty getting off a second time.  I take Cialis to counteract the ED I have from heart medication.  

I decided to try the endurance version of Durex condoms for a second visit with a provider.  The first time I really had a great but all too short time.  Hence the special condom.  For the second session I decided to give her a massage to savor the feel and look of her body.  Some DATY and on with the condom and by then we were well into the second half of the hour session.  I couldn't get off at all.  She seemed to have nice time but after about 15-20 minutes I took a rest and Johnson wilted.  

I tossed the rest of those damned condoms away.  Never again.

The ED drugs do tend to retard ejaculations, from reports other than just mine.  You didn't say what dosage you were taking.

   O.K. Sorry, I'm just now getting the time to get back to my post.

 First off, let me say thanks to the amazing LG, and to all the those who posted with suggestions etc. All the different input was very beneficial.

 Secondly, I should have never mentioned Viagra, as it seemed to cloud the issue. Let me re-state the fact that I do not have an E.D. problem. I use it only for it's perceived quality of my erection. It's probably all in my head. LG had it right. Maybe when I see my next provider, I should consider not using it at all!

However, since Viagra was raised so many times in the thread, let me share my views. Bostonguy57. Thanks,you really jogged my memory. I remember having the same supposition that you did. I figured if 50mg was good, 100mg has to be twice as good? Guess what? Like you, I got rock hard after my first pop, but couldn't come again to save my ass! I had forgotten all about that time, but I swore I'd never do it again. I only weigh 150, and there's no freaking way I need a 100mg hit, let alone 50.

Gregory 12: I only tried Levitra and Cialis once, and personally I didn't notice much difference between the three, or I have forgotten what the results were? One time is not much of a paradigm, so maybe I should consider revisiting them. Thanks!

Lawfin: 100mg of Viagra is only a normal dose if you're a large man over 180lbs or so. Let me assure you that Viagra does nothing for the refractory period! You may stay hard for a bit longer after ejaculation, but the refractory period is going to be exactly the same as with nothing. I didn't mean to suggest that 45 minutes was my mimimum refractory period. That was just the time frame under the circumstances with the last provider. There was a lot of talking and such going on. If she had tried to stimulate me sooner, I may well have responded, so I can't state a definative maximum or minumum that I require. That's something I should get a handle on, but at my age I think 10 or 15 minutes would be pushing it? As to your last post on the thread, yes, maybe Bostonguy57 inadvertently hit on a potential remedy for my problem? Question now, is do I want to want to give up the ability to have a second cup, even though I know I'll have a wild session as you said? I'm on the horns of a lemming! Lol. Stamina or Cups? At 350 an hour it's a helluva decision.

Hungry1951: Thanks. Very good stuff about potential herbal remedies and their caveats. I'm going to read up on it.

Rudy50: You said that you used Durex Endurance one time. Are they the ones with desensitizer in them or just thicker? I like durex also. This might be another solution? Thanks for the input.

In closing: One last question. LG, will you marry me, or can we at least fool around? LOL. I think I'm gonna take your suggestion about no E.D meds next time, just to see how it goes. God Bless Ya!

-- Modified on 10/13/2008 1:23:02 PM

I know I am getting into this discussion late but, Tantric principles are not hard to learn and after only a few lessons you will improve greatly in endurance and best of all you can have all the mini orgasms you want without ejaculating and then when you are ready you can come in buckets.  The classes are not too shabby either.  You will leave each of them totally drained and happy.

Hi LG

Dont know if you remember me you helped me out awhile ago when I was having ED problems with normal sized condoms. In addition to bringing magnums now I also started using 25 mg of Cialis.

Ive never tried Viagra but my experience with Cialis has been that they do increase the size and quality of my erection by quite a bit. One of my ATF's measured and when using Cialis I'm almost an inch longer and the girth is increased as well.

However to respond to the original poster it had no effect on my ability to ejaculate or not. One trick to delay climax (Im sure everyone knows) is to picture something that is really a turn off. It works for me.

There is also a remedy that I picked up from some of my biker friends that does work but I dont recommend it due to the habit forming nature.

~In your debt.

Is marketed as Viraloid in Australia as a bodybuilding supplement. Ive used it and in addition to its increase on your free testosterone (mine went up to 87% of human max on it alone) it also shot my liver enzymes up to near dangerous levels. This can be deadly to someone with Hep C or moderate cirrhosis of the liver.

Hi Brandywine,

I think this is relatively common, and like many things, is something that can be changed.  

Men are able to "teach" themselves to control their orgams, making them earlier or later in sexual activity, or even experiencing orgasm without ejaculation (Yes, it's possible!)

You may want to try a technique where you have your partner stop movement before you get to the point in time where you can't stop ejaculation.  Stay inside of her while your excitement subsides a little before resuming movement.  This will allow you to last longer.

For more info, PM me or read "The New Male Sexuality" by Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld.  This is a great book that deals with a lot of issues and also includes this method.

Have Fun!

The Lady Kassandra

A WELL DOCUMETED SIDE EFFECT OF VIAGRA CAN BE INCREASED DIFFICULTY EJACULATING.  THIS INCREASES WITH DOSAGE. MOST PILLS ARE PRESCIBED IN 100MG FORM BECAUSE THEY CAN BE CUT INTO HALF'S OR 1/4'S AND THEY COST THE SAME AS THERE 25 MG AND 50 MG COUTERPARTS.  UNFORTUNATELY NOT ALL ED DRUGS ARE OBTAINED THRU A DOCTOR THAT ONE HAS A GOOD RELATIONSHIP (SEE THE INTERNET)WITH SO MUCH OF THIS INFORMATION IS NEVER GIVEN TO PATIENTS AND THEY ARE STUCK FINDING THE BEST DOSAGE FOR THEMSELVES WITHOUT THE AID OF A QUALIFIED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL.  MOST ED SPECIALIST WILL STAT THEIR PATIENTS ON A LOW DOSE OF VIAGRA AT FIRST AND ADJUST UPWARDS AS NEEDED.  (PHYSIAN DESK REFERENCE 2008)