I told my dream girl SB that I was not exactly unattached and I could see the immediate change in her eyes.  I don't know how she didn't figure it out before, given that we only met at her place or hotels, perhaps in denial.  But now she said she's not comfortable breaking up a home.

First of all, sorry to hear that. It definitely sucks when one person ends a relationship on the other abruptly. I can totally sympathize.  

-- Modified on 10/21/2016 8:32:42 PM

...Relegated to the goddamn FRIEND ZONE yesterday...by a SUGAR BABY...and I have no spouse presently nor past, and no children. How in hell do you wrap your mind around that?  

I am convinced that many SB's pass me by because of the married but looking status. I figured it was best to be honest from the beginning. Some SB's put in there profile 'no married men.'  They are either worried about drama from being discovered as the other woman or don't want to be a homewrecker.

ALL of them can't stand being lied to!!!  I can't stress this enough. The OP got himself into this situation by lying about his relationship status and I suspect the SB is more upset by the dishonesty than she is about the wife. I'm sorry to sound so unsympathetic. I'm not really. I know how hurt it feels when a SB I really cared about broke things off for personal reasons. But I am always totally honest about my relationship status, my health status, my financial condition, etc. Look, it's true some girls will pass if they know you are married. But that's a good thing! Then the only ones who do rspond to you are the ones who will accept you as you really are. I can't tell you how many SB have told me they hate a guy who lies to them. Just don't.

Whenever I start communicating with an SB, I always tell her I live with my GF so I am not looking for any serious relationship. Some tell me they are not comfortable with it or that's not what they are looking for. We wish each other luck and move on. All my SB's know I have a live-in GF and I know some have BF's. Far less drama down the road this way.

1. you were going to spend your life with a SB? Sounds like both of you are in denial.
2. They're not hookers. Maybe a close cousin, but they don't see things the same way. I'd never hook up with a SB who didn't know my status after the first M&G.

That sucks buddy! There isn't a good ending in this scenario. But, it would help us to understand the situation more if you wouldn't mind sharing the initial meeting with her about your relationship status.  First of all, how did you list it on the site?  Secondly, did she ever ask you about it when you first met? If she did and you lied about it, then you're pretty much screwed. Did she ever make comments about hating or disliking guys that were in relationships and searching for SB's? On a side note, did you have the impression from her that she was seeing multiple SD's or were you in an exclusive arrangement?
How many times had you seen her and did it progress from a paid arrangement to a no payment arrangement? Did you talk or text every day with her? Were you at the point of expressing feelings towards each other?
There's just alot of variables to consider before being able to determine if it's able to be repaired. If you care to share, great. If not, we totally understand.  Good luck Bro!

But maybe I've just not totally wrapped my brain around this whole SB/SD thing yet

that any (or most)  SB(s) who say(s):  "single men only" is looking for a mate, perhaps unconsciously?

Don't give up yet, man. Maybe you just need to be clearer in you communications/expectations. First meet should be to establish connection and terms. Next meet should be BCD. There should be no f***king friend zone. If any chick even LOOKS like she's thinking that, cut bait IMMEDIATELY and on to the next one. Don't even think about wasting time on chicks like that.

That happened to me as well. She got a BF and she said she would  still like to hangout. I  explained to her that she is too hot for me not to want to fuck her. She didnt like that.

Yup, could have made the title a lot shorter by stating that hypocrisy is in force in a major way when it comes to both SDs and SBs regarding this topic of exclusivity and there lack of.  

The Sugar World has some very different rules. In hookerland married guys aren't just allowed, but they are actually preferred. In the Sugar World, "Many" of the young ladies refuse to knowingly be the "other woman" Not all of course, but many.

many of these girls have a "single men only" policy, I can't imagine any of these girls is looking for a "mate" over three times her age.

Thanks for the encouraging words! No kids, but an SO. And yeah, I never expected things to progress to this point in an SR. Honestly, I hadn't had much success there so expectations were low. Will have to keep your advice in mind in the future.

I've never had an SR like this. Honestly, it was the first really good SR I've experienced, so I had a totally different set of expectations. Good point about being more upfront, just never thought it would be an issue.

Also many of the SBs I've been courting know full well that I am married and like it.  They figure its one means I am probably not going to "fall in love" with them.  They are right because I have no delusions that I am going to change my situation at home.

In my haste in attempt to keep my post brief, I was not clear that this was a current SB, not prospective. Three meets over the last month, all with sex included. We scheduled a 4th meet Wednesday evening for Thursday evening overnight date - same as prior two dates. Less than an hour before our scheduled date, an angst-ridden phone call involving a bad dream stemming from an earlier conversation in which she confided to a friend what she was doing...30 minutes later a text saying she was no longer comfortable having sex, but enjoyed my company and would be glad to join me for dutch dinner. I declined and wished her well.  

Hookerland = Toon Town.

Gotcha. This reminds me of a story from when I was younger. When I was a sophomore in college, I started dating a really hot freshman. It was her first time living away from home and we hit it off really well. Only problem was she was Catholic and a virgin. We dated about 3-4 weeks and she would basically let me do everything but fuck her. I was young and impatient and I got a little frustrated by this and I ended breaking up with her telling her I was looking for a more "physical" relationship. Well the moral of the story is that 2 months later she gave it up to another guy.  

I had told my dream SB the truth right in the beginning and though she initially met me a couple of times thinking she could still have an arrangement with a married guy, she changed her mind later as she thought it was not morally ok with her. And yes I was heartbroken cause providers are totally different than the whole Sugarland game.

I believe you have read the situation very well, thanks. I did not fully consider the implications to her dilemma  the conversation with her friend might bring simply by nature of the exposure itself to her friend. Nor at first did I really grasp that if she was willing to drive to me (45 minutes) for dutch dinner that there might still be potential down the road. I was just focused on the immediacy of the physical/intimate rejection after being told less than 24 hours that she had had found her ideal arrangement in me (accompanied with an erotic semi-nude pic), and consequently spending much of the day prepping the house and myself for her arrival. Also in the back of my mind as this conversation was taking place: 1) that we had agreed upon $400 for overnights, and I voluntarily upped that to $500 before the first overnight took place; 2) physically, our previous overnight consisted of very little actual sex, no oral required of her, mostly just kissing and snuggling.  

I think this indeed is a quite accurate summation. Myself, have probably have had too much time in Toon Town to successfully recalibrate to a dating world in which, "not only must you measure up to all of my personal dating standards, but don't forget the envelope, as well!"

"Hi Professor - sorry for delay in getting back to you. I think you were right in the beginning to let this ride because I'm not interested in having an arrangement right now. I apologize for the abrupt change, one of my worse qualities is that I'm quite fickle. But I wish you the best!"

I detected signs of high emotional/mental fragility with this one...and she noted in a follow up text (see my post "and an update") that one of her worst qualities is fickleness.

Some people see sugar dating as the "worst of both worlds" as you not only have to have the money with which to play/pay, but you also have to have enough social skills to bed a woman, often 30 years younger than you, who is NOT an unabashed prostitute. Yes, I can see how many guys would see this as a lose/lose situation.

I listed as single, which I honestly didn't think would matter.  I hadn't had much luck in the SR scene, and to be honest the women I had met didn't make me think I would ever care that my status was inaccurate.  This was the first mind-blowing, everything clicks connection I'd made, the best by far of any online dating for that matter.  She never said anything about not dating attached people, but then again I suppose there was no reason for her to do so.

LOL. Fuck it. Easy come, easy go. NEXT!

...and to your point, when I objectively step back and tally results of my 4 meets via SA: