I don't know how often this happens, but there is this well known traveling provider that I have seen over the last couple of years every time she comes through my town. She's always happy to see me and the same for me. I asked about the possibility of spending a long weekend in a resort nearby where she lives. She liked the idea and when I asked what her gift would be for that period, and I kid you not, she said "there isn't any. I just like being with you." I was floored. She could have easily named a big number with a comma in it and she would have been worth it. Now I realize that I will be picking up the tab for the room, meals and incidentals that are bigger than two lentils and some gifts but what else maybe? I'm just so jaded to the idea of paying for it that when confronted with a freebie all I can do is stammered, "Why, why, thank you Miss X!".

There's a Russian proverb that translates as: "trust, but verify".  That's exactly what you should do.  Go ahead with the arrangement, but have enough money on hand regardless.

What are you worried about, FunnyYouShouldAsk,

That she will stick you with a bill later? That she'll change her mind halfway through the weekend and ask for a fee? That she won't give you stellar 'service' because it's free? That this [egads, perish the thought] will be the beginning of a non-paying relationship with loads of strings attached?

If such an offer was presented to me, I'd go for it in a second. I'd hate to see a potentially good time be ruined by trepidations, particularly my own. But that may not be you. So, if it makes you feel better, less encumbered, less beholden, all those things that leave little icky, sticky, spots in our consciousness - then tell her you could never accept a freebie and wish to pay her anyway. See what she says. If she gets insulted, then it's very easy to go with the program and accept her generous gift.

It's interesting, because on the other end, women have been accepting "freebies" for years. It would be akin to a gentleman taking a lady on a weekend trip, buying her gifts and NOT expecting sex. And not getting any, and being fine with it. And here you are, like a blushing bride. It's cute!

Let us know how your trip went,
the Love Goddess

I accepted her offer at its face value, and I'll just be me, since whatever it is has carried me this far. I'm not concerned about "a bill", if I was I wouldn't be going. It's just that I wonder what it is that got me here? People consider me a nice guy, but that and the required fee is what gets me laid. Now the 'nice guy' maybe paid off?

I had to chuckle about the blushing bride bit. You're just so used to having to pay for every hour that when the gods hand you a gift to compensate for all the bad sexual karma you had to endure in your life it's difficult to look a good fuck in the eye.

Be VERY careful. I've had that freebee offer twice and ended up getting played for the big ticket item both times. Not saying it will happen to you but you know the saying about it being too good to be true? If you are a nice guy and seem to have resources, you are an easy mark. Sorry to sound so jaded but after two times in one year, I would now run if again offered a freebee from a pro.

A couple of years ago, I arranged several months in advance with a very well known provider, now retired, for several days together in a city she was visiting.  I then had some business reversals, and emailed her my regrets that I wouldn't be able to do it because my year-end bonus wouldn't be what I'd expected.  To my dismay, she said, "Come on, it's on me."

I did; we had a wonderful time.  She was willing to pick up the hotel, even, but I was able to and did do that.  

A few months later, I sent her a large monetary gift, but that was my doing, not hers.  

At the risk of overgeneralization, let me say this:  I do not consider myself to be an exceptional guy.  I do believe in respect, in treating a provider as a human being engaged in a profession, and in making sure I take care of her physical pleasure -- whether it's making sure she "cums" or giving her a post-coital backrub -- as well as mine.  When I've found someone I've clicked with and that I see regularly, I strive for a collaborative experience as I would in a civvie relationship, meaning that, as a small example, if we go out to eat, she has as much say in where we go as I do.  I have found that this attitude opens up worlds of experiences with providers that I might otherwise not have.  

Yes, there have been others, besides the one cited above, from whom I've received "freebies."  As long as you don't take it for granted, and you respect the fact that this is the woman's livelihood, you should be okay.

If in doubt, a useful principle to follow is to talk it out.  It's understandable that you might be anxious about not paying since the question immediately arises, "Well, then what's this really about?"  I suspect that it's exactly what it appears to be - she'd enjoy having some stress-free time with someone she feels easy with.  It's not love, it's not serious, it's not a precedent and there are no expectations afterwards  -- it's playtime with a playmate.  But you may want to chat about that with her if you continue to be anxious.  My advice?  Relax and go play.

Pm me if you want to discuss more.

It is wonderful that this provider thinks enough of you to want to give you such a nice freebie, but there's no getting around karma, it's stronger than gravity or the speed limit on light.

I would make it up to her with a great gift to her and keep those cosmic wheels in balance.


Way to go, by the way.

Turkana, by you sending her a gift later, when it was not expected, probably points out the person that you are is the reason she made the offer in the first place.  

Impressive!

If your provider does not want to charge you, she is telling you something.  You should ask her.  
For me, it meant, I like you.  I want to get to know you.  It’s saying I will spend time with you outside of this business relationship.  


Some of us woman have real feelings and emotions.
I am a courtesan provider.  I spend memorable meaningful quality time with my clients.
More times than not they are repeat customers.  This gives me opportunities to really get to know some of these gentlemen.
I recently offered a client time together without charge.  
I did this because, My feelings toward him have gone behind a client/provider friendship. This does not mean I want to run away with him and become a real item.  I was just showing him that he makes me happy and that I want to spend more time with him.  I want to get to know him outside of the bedroom.  I am not at all looking for a real love affair.  I just want him to know that he is special to me.  And that I care about him.
When a woman like me meets a truly wonderful, admirable, respectful, witty, charming, kind, funny, successful gentleman and the chemistry is undeniable I am going to let him know!  And giving him freebies is the perfect way show him.

-- Modified on 10/22/2007 4:45:48 PM

Hey kids - haven't been over her for awhile...

Turkana, if that's how you treat all your ladies, are you sure you wouldn't want to take a romp on the dark side?  

For the gent who started the thread.  Show her a nice weekend, take her at face value, and put a "gift" in her bag on the last day.

And if it turns out to be some kind of upsell - which this doesn't sound like - then personally I'd dump her.

My own experience as a provider, I've done a number of overnight trips, a one week long one and a 9 day with a couple, and one wild weekend in Vegas with a celebrity.  All were a blast.  Some had an up front suggested price, others didn't.  What I found was the ones where nothing was discussed as to price my date usually gave me at least twice what I would have asked for.

My feeling now on more than a one night date is if you have to ask the price you can't afford it.  Adn my answer is whatever it's worth to you.

Of course if we are talking about a weekend "vacation" in Kansas City,  I might be a bit more specific...

Giggle,
TS Jamie  

...FunnyYouShouldAsk might be dumbfounded considering how many of us have shared our dashed experiences with providers.

That having been said however I would opine this is EXACTLY what LG means when she says "if she wants to take you off the clock, she'll let you know".  The only thing that needs to be determined is the context of the offer - if there is any at all - and not that there should be any whatsoever.

But I might add, hell yes, I'd go for it.

BS

shadensky, he is a very lucky man indeed.  You sound like a very special young lady also.  Just cherish the experience and enjoy it one day at a time which it seems you are.  I wish you both the best.