I usually have more than enough interest shown to keep me busy, so see zero reason to engage any further with a POT who is obviously not going to pan out in a way that I'd like. The larger the time gap between communiques the more likely it won't go my way. M&G plans made, but then cancel with some lame excuse = has an ulterior motive. Resists attempt to move communication off-site or simply stops communicating at that juncture = was not gonna happen no way, no how. And I don't count myself among those so desperate for a date that I'll do something stupid in hope of securing said date, such as agreeing to a gift for a m&g, or continuing to converse with someone who wants an online thing before BCD. When I search, I'll first check the "newest", and geez, every day there are multiple pages of them; then I switch to "recently active" and there are always fresh faces (the deactivated returning). So many fish in the sea...
Ok, so you messaged a few times back and forth on the site, then you deftly suggested moving the conversation off site to text, WhatsApp, Snap, etc. so you can talk about the specifics that will make for a great arrangement. That's right where you want to be...
But then she says something that doesn't quite fit, doesn't quite resonate with what you are expecting (or hoping) to see. Maybe she makes a comment that she wants to build a little trust before agreeing to a meet. Nothing wrong with that for me. I actually see that as a good sign she's legit and looking for something longer-term. But then she adds a comment like "while we are getting to know each other, I am down to send nudes or vids for you for extra help while I'm dealing with my roommates moving out. Totally fine I'm open to discuss." And crap! That went bullshit real quick.
BUT maybe she's just trying to balance her need for safety with not losing a good POT SD? Maybe she's ultimately DTF but has been reading the wrong Sugar Blogs or TikToc's? Or maybe she's just dangling the BCD carrot to get you sucked into (pun intended) paying for online "temporarily?" There are other scenarios, of course, and we know them all: Needs cash upfront to fix her car or get an Uber, have to leave town for a sick relative and will sext you until she's back, insists on getting her nails done to look her best for Daddy when your 1st date is in 2 hours (as if we can't blow a load into her mouth if she has scraggy nails), etc.
So what to do? Do you just auto-bail and move on? Or do you play along without actually committing to send money (DO NOT SEND MONEY IN ADVANCE - EVER!!!!!) until she changes her mind or gives up on you? Both have risks; one of losing a viable POT who just needs to learn the rules a bit better, the other a risk of an extended time suck that will never cure your blue balls.
That's when I suggest a pointed reply that clearly states your policy AND expresses your continued interest. In the real life case I mentioned (roommates moving out), I sent a long reply that included a clear statement that I will never commit to providing allowance until our 1st in-person date. I then went on to describe what our dates would be like and how often I would like to meet. It was all positively-worded and usually this gets a positive reply from POT's I talk to. This time: radio silence. So I'm fairly sure that "policy" sandwiched between 3 other statements told her she needs to move on if she's never willing to actually meet. A conversation killer that did not make me a bad guy or insincere.
So how do others weed out the POT's who head down the wrong path? Do you just bail, try to bring her back with some dose of reality, or do you do something else?
Life is good
The Cat
... but usually I bail. Just today I had a hot AA POT who wanted me to take her to a fancy and quite expensive restaurant. This I was willing to do but added that if we felt there was a connection we should consider heading to my place afterwards for another glass of wine and further conversation. She balked at this and then asked me to give her a donation not only for the free dinner but an Uber driver back and forth. The amount she wanted for the driver was about twice what it would be in reality. I told her I would use my Lyft account instead and when she balked at that, I realized there was no hope whatsoever -- it was a total con. Gave her the brush, told her why, and blocked.
This was almost immediately followed by another POT who also was sexy as hell. We started messaging back and forth and it quickly emerged that not only was she nowhere near me -- as she initially claimed -- but a great distance away. Single mom, she proposed I fly her to me once a month and pay 3000 for an overnight. So long, kid. Blocked.
This was just not a great day in the bowl for me... 
... And just to prove that God has a sense of humor, immediately after I sent my last message, another POT went down in flames. Hot Latina, ready and willing, we get into a conversation and suddenly she's asking for money w/o a meet. Blocked and reported!
I try to stay positive by saying I'm very comfortable with providing $ome $ugar to my SB after we both have agreed n the terms of our arrangement. But I only provide sugar the old fashioned way; in person and in cash. If they agree, then fine, we keep talking. But if they beg me for help because they have no food and nothing to eat (got that one 2 days ago) or the cat is sick and needs to go to the vet (got that one today), or they require a good faith deposit of 300 just to show up (last week) I know there's no hope! I sometimes have to say something stronger such as I do not, and will not, use payment apps. Ever. If they demand to know why, I explain, but it's a waste of my time, and has never led to salvaging a real BCD from the conversation.
I got the selling photos pitch and it quickly looked like that would be as far as she'd go. I thanked her for her time and moved on. I can't imagine why anyone would pay for photos when there are more than a lifetime's quantity for viewing free on the Internet. (In fact, she could be selling photos she scraped off the Internet.)
I usually have more than enough interest shown to keep me busy, so see zero reason to engage any further with a POT who is obviously not going to pan out in a way that I'd like. The larger the time gap between communiques the more likely it won't go my way. M&G plans made, but then cancel with some lame excuse = has an ulterior motive. Resists attempt to move communication off-site or simply stops communicating at that juncture = was not gonna happen no way, no how. And I don't count myself among those so desperate for a date that I'll do something stupid in hope of securing said date, such as agreeing to a gift for a m&g, or continuing to converse with someone who wants an online thing before BCD. When I search, I'll first check the "newest", and geez, every day there are multiple pages of them; then I switch to "recently active" and there are always fresh faces (the deactivated returning). So many fish in the sea...
My willingness to expend real time and effort on contacts that I know perfectly well are unlikely to produce a desired outcome is a reflection of the very small market I inhabit. Your observation that you see multiple pages of new profiles every day just made me smile and wish I lived somewhere like that! You're very fortunate. Today my search area revealed 2 new profiles. Not 2 pages, just 2 individual profiles, which is typical here. When you are mining a rich vein of gold you can ignore the poorer quality ore. Those of us in or near Pussy Siberia have to sift through more dirt to find a gem. No criticism of your strategy intended, just expressing my envy!
I’m fortunate in that I get contacted quite a bit. I only respond to ladies I’d like to meet. As soon as I get the conversation to text, I tell them the parameters of my interest. I say “if that’s acceptable let’s arrange to meet. If not, I haven’t wasted your time.” If they accept, we move forward. I have never encountered any of the problems you describe.
I literally got the "can I borrow $40 to get my nails done" before our first M&G yesterday lol
I responded that I do not advance money to people I have never met but happy to provide sugar after entering into an arrangement. I will never hear from her again lol
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