I'm looking for some advice.  Sometimes I feel like a Jekyll and Hyde.

There have been periods of time where I watch porn, masturbate, and see several providers a week.  I've seen multiple providers in a day.  

Other times I can go for awhile without sex, and the less I think about it the less I want it.

Sometimes I'm totally focused on sex and all I want to do is bed all the girls I'm dating.
When I'm not in that phase, I want a deep and emotional relationship.

Lately I have made myself very busy with wholesome things(no providers no sex) and I find myself thinking less and less about sex.  I'm not even that horny and I'm not that excited about watching porn or even seeing a provider.

I guess I'm kind of understanding what makes me tick... but I havn't figured it all out.  And I"m not sure what makes me happier either.  24/7 pussy feels good but is it really happiness??  

I'm in my 20's if that helps.  I have a lot to learn.


-- Modified on 4/16/2010 12:35:43 PM

Yup, you do, LAGentleman,

One important thing in life is to learn how not to stress about things not worth stressing about - and libido is one of them.

It would be extremely strange if you were hyperaroused at all times. How would you be able to function on a day-to-day level? Humans have many great things to accomplish in life - building careers, families, legacies - sex is actually a pretty small part of life when all is said and done.

You may find that the urge for pussy becomes more and more controllable the older you get and the more responsibilities you'll have. Slowly but surely, the big head will take over; if it doesn't, then you'll have a problem. Until then, take your libido as it comes - higher on some days, other days not so much. And don't worry, it's not going to disappear forever...Mother Nature is responsible for that. It may redirect its course, it may change its target, but fundamentally, you'll be screwing in one form or another until the day you die.

Enjoy the journey as much as the destination,
The Love Goddess

As I get older, my libido is definitely declining. I still notice the ups and downs, but the average is depressingly lower. Except for spring that is. It seems that I still get incredibly horny every spring. It shoots up, so to speak, in late March, and then it drops with a thud some time in June. I recently spoke with a lady friend who reports similar experiences. I won't go into details, but it is pretty amazing how powerful a spiking sex drive can get.

Anyway, is there any evidence that humans have an annual cycle controlling sex drive like other animals?  Thanks.

Well, NIckCharlesIII,

There is definite evidence that your circadian rhythm changes as the days get longer. Remember that you've got summer solstice in June and then the days get shorter again. So if you're someone who gets affected by the seasons (some even get SAD, i.e. Seasonal Affective Disorder, which essentially is depression caused by shorter daylight time), then yes, it would stand to reason that you get friskier in Spring.

In Scandinavia, which has extreme swings between long summer nights and long winter days, more children are born in early Spring...meaning that people copulate more successfully (or just more) during the summer months.

An "annual sex drive?" Hmm...you may be confusing estrus with cycles. Human females are the only primates who are able to conceal estrus and who ovulate monthly. So humans would have more of a monthly sex drive cycle rather than an annual one, in order to time it with successful fertilization.

Your declining libido has to do with a lack of androgens. My advice would be to get a Testosterone-level measurement at the doctor's office to see if it's plunged below acceptable levels.

Take heart - you've got April May and June coming up
The Love Goddess

Courtesy of that great life guru:  Jerry Reed.

(Click link.)

and horny a lot.
I masturbate daily (usually once) but stop a day or two before a date.  I stop so that I can have a better orgasm with the babe.

I am a one shot guy at a session, and usually schedule a 90 min or 2 hour to enjoy the prelims.  I was a late bloomer so that may have something to do with it.

LAGentleman,

I've got around 30 years on you and have pondered similar questions in my time.  I may not have the answers that you seek but I have some insight into my own similar questions.

First, libido comes and goes for me and always has.  When I was in my teenage years I was always horny like most boys and would masturbate 1-5 times per day, everyday!  There was hardly a time that I didn't think about sex.  It was my focus.

Then in my twenties I was horny much of the time but not constantly as I was at the university trying very hard to do well.  Sex was very important but things other than sex became very important too.  I learned that sex was something that I could push aside at time to keep my priorities straight.  In fact, I actually turned down and opportunity or two during those years if something was pulling me away such as other social commitments or the need to get to an important class.

In my thirties and forties, sex was important and it was something that I sought along with the friendship and companionship of women.  Sex was not the only thing I thought about but it was high on the list.  As I matured I began to see sex as an important part of a relationship not just the goal.

In my fifties I wish now that I had the sex drive and stamina of that 18 year old boy who masturbated constantly.  I would use the knowledge and experience that I have acquired through this life along with that stamina and sex drive to bring myself and my ladies (or lady) wild.  I'm pretty good in the stamina department and the sex drive is pretty good but not like it was back in the day.

The message and the bottom line is that your sex drive will change throughout the days, weeks, months, and years of your life.  Every phase has its advantages.  Take it as it comes, enjoy it, don't analyze and realize that it's all part of being a man.  Very normal.