First, some may be asking "where has herbtcat been"?  Answer: I've been disconnected for a while due to several factors: 1. New role at work = more business travel, 2. Semi-regular SB has evolved into regular (hence the transition noted below), 3. dropped other SB's in rotation and replaced with local porn stars and local strippers who do OTC meets. But although I've not been posting, I've been an occasional lurker.  Now to the main post...  

As mentioned, my semi-reg SB has evolved into my regular (and only) SB, which has evolved into a semi-actual GF who's met my friends and family and her parents & friends know she's "dating" me.  With that evolution, she started noting that it's awkward to ask for cash. Twice I forget to go to my ATM and she asked for checks. Also, although we see each other 1 to 2 times a week, we don't always have sex for a variety of reasons.  She wanted to move to an apartment less than 40 minutes from my (I never drove to her place) and mentioned that she would appreciate a more dependable pattern of "sugar" so that she could commit to paying rent on a new lease.  

There's more nuance to this, but the point is she suggested we go to a monthly allowance and she won't ask for more cash per meet unless there is an emergency (like unplanned auto repair - which just happened for $425).  Here's what happened when I went for it.  

1. The math actually favors me. When we had a PPM rate and she was seeing me more often than we had originally agreed, my aggregate sugar went over budget plan by 25-33%.  With the monthly allowance, my total monthly nut (pun intended) is actually less, plus the usual extra $$ I was already spending on dinners, movies, presents, etc.  

2. I took a big leap of faith (since we've been SD/SB since last September) and booked us both for my upcoming month-long vacation in Australia in Oct.  She is now dependent on my monthly sugar to pay most of her rent. Her part time job covers the rest of her expenses and she still has time to visit her parents & friends (yes, I have no way to know if she's got another SD, but she has told me of 2 or 3 other 1st SD dates she's been on that went nowhere).  She signed a 12-month lease (I was there and read it before she signed) and she's not able to break it without paying it out. So she's fairly dependent on her monthly sugar and so reluctant to piss me off and risk the regular cash. While am committed to her coming with me on the trip, if she flakes, I'm out airfare and cruise fare, the 2 biggest cost items. And IF I can find a replacement to take with me, I'll still pay a fair amount to transfer the pre-paid fares (been through this before - but that's for another post).  

3. She seems to be hornier than ever. I think the idea of getting cash specifically for eating my cum was bothering her (SB logic!) and now it's more boyfriend-ish and so, no (or less) "whore guilt."

4. As mentioned above, I've dropped other SB's from rotation and haven't entertained any (well very many) new POT SB threads.  Instead, I added two local UTR porn stars and a stripper who delivers OTC to my home. Plus I generally stick with a pro when I go on solo business travel.  

So, before you start to blast me for going monthly, let me state I look at this as an experiment with a calculated risk. And I'll note that risk is generally lower than the amounts I've lost in previous stupid mistakes...  err... I mean hard earned lessons.

Ok, with that disclaimer, the berating comments and disparaging jokes may now commence.  

Final Note: She's 24, 5'6", 34DD, curvy hot like Beyoncé, and sucks like she's drowning under 20 feet of water and my dick is full of life-sustaining oxygen. She also occasionally does my laundry, grocery shopping and, as she's a personal chef, likes cooking for me.  

END OF MESSAGE

As I re-read my post, I am struck by the following observation:  

Trust vs. risk is a central consideration in my decision.  But my trust of her didn't grow from a reduction in risk.  If anything my risk has increased in this arrangement. Rather increased trust shows a willingness to take on more risk than you would otherwise.  

I suppose I could reduce my risk by paying one month behind rather than one month ahead. But since I obviously trust her (more) now, here I am.  

Maybe a good strategy for other SD's if an SB is demanding a monthly allowance and you aren't ready to go there.  Offer to pay her at the end of the month. It puts the risk on her that you will pay, rather than on you that she wont' deliver. Of course, after the 2nd or 3rd month the apparent risk will even out...

You've got yourself a hot and heavy girl friend.    

 
Good luck, you will need it.

 
Oh, and tell her that if she wants a more "dependable pattern of sugar", then you want one too.

If you pay her the month in advance your "percentage risk" is 100% the first month is she flakes on you, decreasing to 50% the next month, 33%  the next and so on, down to a less than 10% risk by the end of a year or so because if she splits town on you after collecting for the month you will have paid for 12 months and only received 11, not a big deal.

 
That said, by paying in advance the "actual risk" remains the same, she will ALWAYS have been paid in advance and you will ALWAYS have at least some money at risk. You don't "reduce" your risk by paying a month behind, you eliminate "your risk" entirely and shift the risk to her.  That's why SD/SB arrangements are not the same as employer/employee relationships as employees don't get paid in advance.

 

Of course good luck finding an SB who will accept being paid a month behind. Most SB's can't get through the month when getting paid in advance, much less be able to go the entire month before getting paid.

 
Personally I have NEVER done a monthly allowance, nor do I ever expect to, but if it's working out for you, I have no intention of pissing on your parade.

I do the 15th and 30th of every month with whatever we agree on. Haven't found one that has been long term though.. technically one but it didn't last longer than a month lol.

I think you just said what I said about the risk, but you were more articulate about it. :P

The interesting part of this is she's actually providing more sugar, more often. With PPM, she would call/text me and say something like, "I need to see you this weekend - rent is due." She was doing the math like this "Need 3 sessions/payments by the 25th..." and then texting me.  

Now it's more like "My work shift ended early today, can I play with your dick tonight?"  

Also, she changed her work schedule to always have Fri/Sat off. I get first refusal to have her with me on the weekends. The net-net on sugar is we went from 2 times a month to 1-2 times a week.  I have to re-up my blue pill scrip. :p  

Still, I have no illusions this behavior is NOT typical of monthly arrangements.  I'll ride it (and her!) as long as it lasts.

as long as it lasts could be till death do you part.

 
(That goes for alimony payments too, by the way.)

Pretty sure I don't have to point this out, but you seem like you could afford to lose that one month allowance (or maybe two if there are extenuating circumstances) and it would be more of an irritation than a dent in your "play money".  As to the vacation, again the same.  Nobody likes to fork out money for nothing, but in the SB (hell even in the p4p world if you're not careful) world, an allowance is risk.  Now, if you are paying the allowance up front and want to hedge your risk by paying it at the end of the month, I would wait until AFTER the vacation to bring this up.  Glad to hear a really successful SB story.

So just doing a routine overflight search on SA today (always want to scout new Pot SB's for the bullpen) and I notice that her SA Profile is now showing as "profile not found". Which means one of three possibilities:  

1. She blocked me,  
2. Her account expired and she didn't re-up (most likely?), or  
3. She has hidden her profile from search and viewing.  

She has told me in the past that she does not have a checking account (can't get one) or a credit/debit card due to past financial problems with the joint accounts she had with an ex-BF. (Plausible, but who knows if it's true.)  If that is true it  means the only way she has been able to pay for past subscriptions on SA would be by sending a money order or similar PITA payment method. Up to last month, I have seen her as active every 2 to 10 days.  

We are going on a 3 day trip this weekend so I'll see if an opportunity comes up to talk about the site and perhaps she will mention something. Over all, it's not that important so I won't make a point of asking her outright.

Expired accounts, I'm 90% sure, stay visible.  But I'm confused as you're talking as if she had a paid account?  Just verifying, because they seem very few and far between in my area.  99% of the women's accounts I see are free accounts.

She was messaging me on the site. I know SD's can't read or send messages without a paid membership.  

Is that not true for SB's?  

(Guess  I should know this...)

-- Modified on 6/26/2017 5:07:36 PM

I transitioned to a monthly a while back and its all been good. More sex, 90% overnights and once a month weekend trips.

you can still see her if she has been on recently by searching "recently active".  Her pic will show up there and if she blocked you then you get the message and not the profile.

No, that is not true! SBs get pretty full access, including messaging, for free. They are suckling at our teats from the get go!

Have someone you know and trust search for her profile to see if it's hidden.  Or create a second profile yourself and search.  

In terms of your overall situation, congrats!  There are some great SBs out there.  Some are actually trustworthy.  The hard part is determining which ones are.  It's best to minimize risk, generally speaking, but limited risk may be ok.  I'm at the point where I assume everyone is a flake or scammer until proven otherwise.  

Will be absolutely amazing - Their Spring transitioning into Summer. Great Weather, The Girls are out and The surf is amazing!!

Your chick is going to be so stoked - Stay at The Beach Hotel in Byron Bay if you can...

Cheers

Though you have told us how stunning your SB is, and it's nobly grand of you to take her to OZ,  
please be warned that Byron is crawling with the hottest babes in Australia at that time of the year....
The free love, 'hippie ethic' of the sixties has been reborn in that remote little town, so I hope your SB will enjoy the threesomes that become available during your visit