Either because of looks but Ive sern several that were just plain awful bcd experiences. That they couldn't get the vibe surprised me.
I’ve been ghosted three times completely in my life by personal contacts (one was a real good friend, one a civvie GF, last one was a pro still operating- I wanted the action but not for her to live in my house). So I know it can suck.
Haven’t been ghosted yet by a SB. I’m sure it will happen lol.
Recently I had to turnover SB roster. Granted I really just wanted something new. But there were fucking things I found annoying about each SB… with one in particular, we’d been hot and cold already in a short time bc she got drunk once l and another time she was in and out in 20 min (which is fine for a regular HO!)…even tho she got better our time was running its course at a high ppm $600 plus gifts…
So I ghosted. Six messages and two weeks later (so I missed two visits) I’m still holding firm with no word. Yea I’m a dick.
I’m guilty of ghosting 2 SB’s. One had a warning, the other just wasn’t what I wanted. I warned the first one after she asked for a ridiculous purse for Valentine’s Day. She was gorgeous and incredible in the sack, but I was already giving her little gifts because the 400 ppm I was giving her seemed to low for some of the dates we had. I’ve got no problem giving extra if I feel like it, but I don’t like being asked for large gifts. She recently moved and was getting all new furniture. She asked if I could cover the $1700 dining room table. I could’ve tried to work around it and suggest we barter the table for a few dates, but I didn’t like the pattern that was forming. I decided to just not answer her text and move on. She texted me a few times ver the next week, and then stopped.
The other lady just wasn’t doing for me. Her profile was off 8 years in age. She was 36 not 28 like her profile. Before we started she made a remark that she’s usually $100 more than what she agreed upon, and that next time that was going to be the new ppm. Well, we were already behind closed doors and I was horny. She was cute, but not as cute as her pics. The sex was good. She was very pleased with daddy’s tongue and dick. She texted me non stop to see her again and never mentioned the extra $100, but I really wasn’t interested in seeing her again…so I was a dick and ghosted her too.
It’s not a nice thing to do. I should work on not doing this again.
There are many posts on this and related topics. But I'll highlight my personal lessons for you:
1. Never burn bridges. Don't bother "getting even" for some real or imagined slight to your ego or wallet. She won't care and you won't get your pride and/or cash back. But - if you stay cool and let it/her go - you may get an opportunity down the road to reconnect and rekindle the BCD magic.
2. Always have your scouting hat on, or be prepared to put it on in a hurry. Keep an eye on new profiles in your area. Maybe make contact and schedule a few M&G's even when your current SB roster is full (for some SD's - full = 1 SB, for others - full could = 4 to 8+ SB's).
3. Never block a POT, or former/ghosted SB. Unless she is harassing you online, all you get for blocking her is a total lack of info on her status later on. So YOU blocking HER is really YOU blocking YOU from her profile.
4. If you want/need to end an arrangement, be the adult in the room and tell her. Tell her why, be constructive if you really think it will help her - or be more vague if you don't - and don't be a dick about it. (See #1). An SB's circumstances change, and she may go into or out of the Bowl over time. An SD's circumstances change, and you may go into or out of the Bowl over time.
Life is good
The Cat
I think it's really classy when a SB comes right out and tells me our arrangement is coming to an end. One SB simply told me she was getting into other things in her life. One told me very frankly she wanted to explore more lucrative options. One joined the Air Force. Whether they are true reasons or excuses, I appreciate being told instead of being left to wonder, sending lots of "where are you" text messages, or having my feelings hurt. Getting ghosted feels like shit, so I try real hard not to do it to any of them. Sometimes it can be difficult. Especially if the real reason is that they are simply not doing it for me and I've found somebody hotter. But even then you can always say, as Herb has suggested, that your situation has changed and you won't be able to see her anymore. You can also always say you've hit a financial setback. Simply ghosting is indeed a dick move.
If I've seen her only once and have no desire to see her again, does that make me guilty of ghosting her if I don't tell her so? I don't see that as being any different than not requesting another date with an escort. On the other hand, if she's become someone that I've seen repeatedly then I feel that letting her know I won't be able to continue seeing her (truth stretched a bit) is appropriate. Likewise, if she wishes to end the arrangement, hearing that from her is appreciated. Usually though, from her end, it tends to come in the form of stalling a get together for one reason or another, which puts the ball in my court. I have been outright ghosted in a long time arrangement too, but have thicker skin than to have my feelings hurt over that, even though I may wonder why.
IMO, ghosting by an SD is bad idea, barring some significant negative issue. It might put you into the jerk, loser, asshole category that motivated her to look for an SD in the 1st place. So show her how a mature, decent guy handles relationship discussions.
If you have one BCD and you ain't feeling it, then just tell her something like "Hey, you're great/sweet/nice/etc. but I don't think we are (or I am) right for each other, so I will move on." Give her a definite "status" so she isn't left hanging. If down the road you two happen to reconnect, she will remember you well, and may be inclined to really reconnect if you are both interested.
Finally, the term "arrangement" connotes an ongoing relationship, while "booking" a hooker connotes a one-time session that you MAY repeat some time in the future. I think it's important to remember this is DATING, not hiring a hooker. So talk to her like a woman you are dating, and not like you are a customer who decides to buy from some one else.
Life is good
The Cat
Without exception, my one and dones have been awkward to some degree once BCD, and my sense is that they've known it too. I've no intention of reconnecting down the line, and my sense is that they have all felt the same. That's not being "left hanging" IMO.
-- Modified on 7/18/2021 7:51:01 AM
Ghosting is something you do on the FIRST meeting...thereafter it's something else.
And a pet peeve of mine is that someone calls this "dating"
In my previous 40 years of life, I would have never even considered paying a lady for a "date"
Dating is for lovers...arrangements are what we do on SA
Hopefully the two will NEVER mix
Either because of looks but Ive sern several that were just plain awful bcd experiences. That they couldn't get the vibe surprised me.
I generally start each arrangement with high hopes. I hope we will enjoy each other so much that we will continue with a series of repeat engagements over time. I've never gone BCD with a SB with the intention of it being a one and done experience, although sometimes we both know that's what's most likely to be the case, especially if one of us is from out of town. And sometimes when you begin an arrangement there's a built in expiration date for a variety of reasons. But most often the arrangement begins with hopes that it will endure for a while.
So what do you do when one of you becomes disenchanted with the arrangement? If you ghost, you quit communicating. But sometimes the lack of enthusiasm is mutual, and both of you feel uninspired to continue. In that case you might go through the motions once or twice more, and your meetups and communications become fewer and farther between, and the arrangement just fizzles out. It dies a natural death. I don't consider that to be ghosting, even though neither party may have said in so many words that you don't plan on continuing.
I think it's only ghosting when one person decides unilaterally to end all communication while the other person still feels emotionally attached and thus feels dumped. Anybody who has been ghosted on knows how crappy that feels. So it's very good karma never to do that to anyone.
-- Modified on 7/18/2021 6:06:21 PM